Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

What would you do - kids alone in car late a night

26 replies

ImNotChangingMyUsernameAgain · 29/04/2020 00:08

I've just popped to the cash point at my local petrol station (11.45pm) and I noticed 2 kids aged around 10 and maybe 4 left alone in a car. I did not go inside the shop to see who was inside but I got the distinct feeling that perhaps their parent was the shop cashier and that they had been left there for some time, The older child had the front window open and seemed to be making eye contact with the cashier who looked a little wary when I approached the car and asked the children if their parent was inside.

I am planning to drive past again tomorrow night and see if they are there again. If they are what would you do? My instinctive response is to report it either to the petrol station operator (big name supermarket) or to social services but I can only imagine what dire straits a parent would need to be in to do this and I am reluctant to make things worse for a family that is already struggling.

This isn't AIBU but for those who think I am BU I don't intend to do anything on a hunch alone and would only report if the children are there on another occasion.

OP posts:
ItsABitOfAShitFightMate · 29/04/2020 00:11

What did the children say to you?

vodkaredbullgirl · 29/04/2020 00:13

No another post about kids left in car's.

What did the kids say?

Original poster
ImNotChangingMyUsernameAgain · 29/04/2020 00:16

The kids said their parent was inside. It's 11.45pm and deserted - this is not a normal kids in the car scenario if they are left there at night while their parent works.

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Families
Nicknacky · 29/04/2020 00:16

Why haven’t you said what the kids said?

Nicknacky · 29/04/2020 00:17

So their parent was in getting petrol?

Nicknacky · 29/04/2020 00:17

Paying, not getting 🤦🏻‍♀️

stellarsky · 29/04/2020 00:18

This is tough. I'm alone with my two and have struggled to work/homeschool/get food.
What did the children say? Did they look in distress. Did you ask the cash assistant? You can't really assume anything without asking?
I work with looked after children and am generally right in there in my own way asking if they need a hand and what can I do to help. How do you know their other parent/carer wasn't on the way to get them and take them home?

stellarsky · 29/04/2020 00:22

Meant to say tough times, as in people watching everywhere.
The checkout person may well have been watching you as a random dodgy person talking to children in a car?

Original poster
ImNotChangingMyUsernameAgain · 29/04/2020 00:23

I think the parent was inside WORKING the night shift at the petrol station cum supermarket checkout. I only glanced through the window and it was not obvious to me that there was anyone inside shopping, As an occasional thing I could understand if a parent had to take their kids shopping and leave them in the car late at night if there was no alternative but I think leaving kids in a car late at night for a prolonged period while the parent works inside is generally not OK.

But I shall not assume anything. I will go back tomorrow to check and ask questions.

OP posts:
Runkle · 29/04/2020 00:24

This again.. Why are you making an unnecessary journey to go there again tomorrow?! FFS stop nosing in other people's cars and stay home.

WorraLiberty · 29/04/2020 00:29

But I shall not assume anything.

Errrrm...ha ha ha! Grin

You only glanced through the window and yet made all those wild assumptions?

Original poster
ImNotChangingMyUsernameAgain · 29/04/2020 00:34

Fuck it then! No skin off my nose if someone else's kids are being left for hours outside a petrol station in the middle of the night (possibly night after night). I'm sure it was teaching them a lesson in resilience and work ethic that makes it worth turning a blind eye to a potential safe guarding issue. So I won't leave the safety and comfort of my home tomorrow night to check on them.

OP posts:
Luzina · 29/04/2020 00:40

If you're seriously worried call the police. Only you can make that decision.

NC4Now · 29/04/2020 00:45

I think you need to ask the cashier. Who’s to say why the children were there. Their parent may have been in paying, or have popped home to get their purse. Or they may have been working as you say.
I’d make some checks before reporting though as it’s impossible to say from the few minutes you must have been there.

theneighbourswindchime · 29/04/2020 00:49

I don't understand some of these replies.....

I too would be worried if I saw two young children in a car all night (potentially)

It's not fair on the children and not fair on the parent who must be struggling awfully.

It's a difficult situation though - I feel for both parties

NotMyNigel · 29/04/2020 00:57

The parent was probably inside using the WC and asked the cashier to keep an eye on their children.

You sounds slightly unhinged when you suggest going back there tomorrow night to spy on the petrol station cashier.

WorraLiberty · 29/04/2020 00:59

theneighbourswindchime A pretty simple 'Is your parent shopping?' to the kids.

Or 'Are those your kids in the car?' to the cashier.

Either would have been much more useful than starting a thread full of speculation on a parenting website.

AdobeWanKenobi · 29/04/2020 04:00

Why would the cashier leave them in the car rather than in the back office areas?

TKAAHUARTG · 29/04/2020 06:31

Exactly Adobe. it makes no sense.

littleducks · 29/04/2020 09:27

What gave you the distinct feeling they had been left there for some time?

Even if they were the cashiers children which seems unlikely there could be reasons or scenarios (dropped off by other parent 5 min earlier who works night shift ready for cashier about to take home in few minutes) and there were in sight line, as well as in view of cctv cashier would be able to see. There most likely aren't in school so don't have to be up early so late night not as problematic.

Chillipeanuts · 29/04/2020 09:29

Maybe ask the cashier 🤷‍♀️

comatosemuvva · 29/04/2020 09:31

I can't understand how you could be worried enough to go back tonight and check on them again tonight,? But not worried enough to actually go in the shop and see if there parent was the cashier or a shopper. Very bizzarre

Biancadelrioisback · 29/04/2020 09:43

I completely understand why you were concerned. I would be too!
However I do think that you had a chance to act and you didn't. You could have spoken to the children to find out more, or the cashier. Driving by tonight to check shows that you are concerned but I think chances are, it was either the kids getting dropped off 5 mins before the end of a shift, or a parent in the toilet etc. It's unlikely the person working would keep them in the car rather than the back office...

littlefawn · 29/04/2020 09:50

I actually understand!! These answers are ridiculous, you asked and they said their parent was inside, but you went home and thought about it abit more and something didn't feel right!
Go again tonight and see if they're there again, ask the cashier if they're his/her children. Maybe they're going through tough times or have no one to look after the children due to the current circumstances. If they appear to be ok and it's short term I personally don't think I would call social services when they're probably trying their best. But if gauge their reaction and make a decision based on that

Soontobe60 · 29/04/2020 09:54

I think if I'd been concerned, I'd have sat in my car and waited to see if someone came outside and got into their car. But it's too late to do that now!
I also would probably drive round tonight to check though. If they were there, I'd ring the police.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.