Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Been on this planet for 33 years and still so stunned at the rudeness of people?!

37 replies

Namechangex10000 · 28/04/2020 19:49

So this morning I went to home bargains, I don't watch the news, I don't know if it's "a thing" bit for whatever reason there was an announcement that there was about to be minutes silence to pay respect to NHS staff whom have lost their lives to the virus (not getting into my thoughts on that as a whole!) I respect others, I respect whatever others feel they need to do to alleviate grief, I care not, it's not skin off my nose to show respect, the store was still, the store was silent, and yet, a man in the next aisle actually answered his phone???
Wtaf? Just why? (I can confirm, it was a "chin wag" call, not an important call, nor and emergency) honestly it really upset me/ madee generally fuming! Just how fucking hard is it, for one minute of your damn life to just "follow" what's happening, and respect others wether it's your belief or not? I did go round and pass comment when the silence was up, and others thanked me for this, but it just actually pisses me off so much that some people are so self centred that they cannot just check themselves for even a moment. Fuck sake. I'm in a bad mood anyway but I just need to vent.

OP posts:
GlummyMcGlummerson · 29/04/2020 00:21

In fairness OP some people (myself included) completely zone out and don't listen to those announcements. He might have had earphones in, lots of people do. Or maybe he just didn't agree with it and talked through it, which is improper but not the end of the world.

Same happens on Armistice Day, people don't hear the announcement or don't care enough to observe it. As is their right. I remember one office I worked in, despite there being a tannoy announcement on Armsitice Day, one colleague carried on working, loud typing and sending things to the printer, whistling etc. We were all Confused - turns out he didn't realise at all until he asked what we were all staring at Grin

GlummyMcGlummerson · 29/04/2020 00:21

Oh and I had absolutely no idea about the silence until 11.10am when I got a push notification asking me to watch a video of the silences from across the UK Confused

SnowsInWater · 29/04/2020 00:36

Yes, some people are rude and ignorant and the current situation doesn't bring out the best in everyone but maybe he just wasn't aware. We tend to be hyper aware of things that affect us or we choose, other people focus on other things. I am so grateful that I don't live in the UK with the social expectations of clapping, getting kids to draw pictures, standing in silence etc. and the horrible horrible people who seem to take pleasure in shaming their friends and neighbours.

rosiethehen · 29/04/2020 05:20

The thing is, you can't expect other people to behave the way you want them to.

There are now so many covid 19 social rituals being devised that it's hard to keep up so some people zone out or lose interest. Some people don't participate in social rituals just like some people don't go to church, celebrate birthdays, have big weddings, get their child christened etc.

Being rude is shouting at someone or barging into them. Answering a phone is a personal choice and you shouldn't have been earwigging in order to evaluate the type of call he was engaged in. You were rude for being nosey and judging him.

ShirleyPhallus · 29/04/2020 05:23

I had no idea there was a minutes silence today tbh. Very different to have it as a once off to the armistice day one which has been going forever

KatherineJaneway · 29/04/2020 05:23

There always have been and will be rude, inconsiderate and oblivious people.

FatKate · 29/04/2020 05:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lifestooshort123 · 29/04/2020 08:18

Sometimes people prefer to mark an occasion or remember something dreadful in their own way and not join in with public displays of support. I don't think it's fair to judge him as being rude when he has a different set of behaviours to our own but he was being insensitive. He won't have lost any sleep over it.

ComtesseDeSpair · 29/04/2020 08:48

Wearing headphones, wasn’t listening to the tannoy because the announcements are usually “spill in aisle 4, can we have a cleaner to aisle 4” or “can Barbara please come to the customer service desk” and nothing to do with customers, zoned out, phonecall which he really needed to take. Take your pick.

And honestly, it’s all getting very sanctimonious, this clapping and gurning over our “NHS heroes”. They’re doing an excellent job and deserve a pay rise but it’s really not up to anyone to tell everyone else exactly how they have to express some immense display of gratitude over a situation none of us had anything to do with.

LaureBerthaud · 29/04/2020 08:53

did go round and pass comment when the silence was up, and others thanked me for this

How? Did you confront him or did you go up and down the aisles muttering whilst other customers cheered you on?

TheVanguardSix · 29/04/2020 08:55

He probably didn’t realise.
Choose not to let this ruin your day.

Nicolastuffedone · 29/04/2020 09:12

Might’ve been hard not to earwig on a call when everyone was silent and he was the only one talking.

Original poster
Namechangex10000 · 29/04/2020 11:01

I don’t think I’m being judgy, I also didn’t claim to agree with all the public displays, however I do think that people should be respectful of what others are doing, a minute, that’s all it was??!

OP posts:
AdoptedBumpkin · 29/04/2020 11:05

I was in a cafe during the two minutes of silence for the Paris terrorist attacks and I remember two people talking all the way through.

ABadlyShavedYeti · 29/04/2020 12:26

I used to work for an awful company and when the phone rang (my small team was the only inbound section, the rest of the large office was outbound) we had to answer it, when the silences for Paris and London were on I was on the phone, NO WAY would i have been able to hang up the phone or not talk, i would have been sacked.

I tried to talk very quietly and leave gaps before answering, but i was still on the phone, the rest of the office were giving me looks and muttering, but what could i do? I would have got the sack. Awful company to work for.

I know this is different to what the OP describes but sometime not doing the silence isnt always the poor persons fault

BrooHaHa · 29/04/2020 12:32

Dear me, OP, get off your high horse. For all you know he's got a mentally ill friend he's supporting by being available. And even if he doesn't, it's not like he was verbally deriding or judging people for their choice in behaviour- IMO you were more rude than he in this scenario. At most, he was a bit ignorant.

K1999 · 29/04/2020 12:43

You can respect the NHS without doing a minute of silence. You can feel sad for people who have lost lives and put their lives at risk without not talking for a minute. Just cus everyone else is doing it doesn't mean you have to, and that certainly doesn't make you disrespectful or a bad person. It can simply mean you deal with your respect differently. What is it with this 'comply or socially die' culture we live in? Not everyone has the same way of thinking or doing things and it makes them no less than anyone else.

BrooHaHa · 29/04/2020 12:54

What is it with this 'comply or socially die' culture we live in?

Very well put.

AWryGiraffe · 29/04/2020 12:56

In what way did you 'go round and pass comment'?

BirdieFriendReturns · 29/04/2020 13:20

I was at home and didn’t mark the silence.

user1635482648 · 29/04/2020 13:26

I don’t think I’m being judgy

That's a joke, right? Your entire post is you sitting in judgement on somebody else. You even proudly tell us how you delivered your judgemental views to him in person as if we should congratulate you for it.

Nicolastuffedone · 29/04/2020 13:32

Yes, it’s very likely he had a mentally ill friend he was supporting, can’t believe you didn’t immediately think of that Hmm

BrooHaHa · 29/04/2020 16:12

Yes, it’s very likely he had a mentally ill friend he was supporting, can’t believe you didn’t immediately think of that

It's not unlikely. 1 in 4 of us suffer from poor mental health at some point in our lives and lockdown is massively exacerbating them for many people. I have a friend who is really struggling at the moment, who I would answer the phone for.

BrooHaHa · 29/04/2020 16:13

*It's not that unlikely.

Nicolastuffedone · 29/04/2020 17:24

Or it could have been his mum on for a chat
Or his sister asking if he could go halves for their dads birthday
Or his friend from work......or a million things! Why would anyone immediately think ‘oh he’s probably supporting his mentally ill friend’