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Original poster

Painful sex 7 months postpartum

18 replies

InkermanStreet · 27/04/2020 17:42

Posting here for traffic, sorry if TMI!

While pregnant I did kegels and perineum massage fairly regularly and was lucky to give birth with no tears or cuts.

However, sex is still painful 7 months on; not excruciating but enough to make penetration difficult and make me wince throughout. It feels like everything is a lot tighter up there but not in a good way!

At my 6-week check-up, the gynaecologist inserted the speculum and it was very uncomfortable, which it had never been before, and he said it was normal to be dry after childbirth due to hormones and BFing. But I'm not actually dry down there at all! Even so, I've tried using loads of lubricant during sex but it makes no difference because the pain isn't a dry pain but a tight pain.

I used to swear by my mooncup but even inserting/removing that hurts Sad

My period came back a few months ago which I hoped meant that I'd get back on track but I'm no better now than 6 weeks postpartum.

Has anyone been through something similar? When can I expect it to get better or are my days of enjoyable sex behind me?? Confused

OP posts:
WeddingNameChange · 27/04/2020 17:47

Are you still breastfeeding?
I had similar for 2 years after giving birth but part of my issue is scar tissue.
I always found the more I thought about it and the more I stressed about it the more painful it was. I know it sounds silly but you really need to try to relax.
It was slight better after I stopped breastfeeding.
Do go back to the gp and have it investigated, I've been seeing a consultant and finally managing to get back to normal.

Original poster
InkermanStreet · 27/04/2020 17:56

Thanks for replying. I am still BFing although I thought that BFing would affect dryness as opposed to tightness, IYSWIM.

We haven't done it often but I'm normally very relaxed and not stressing. It's only now I'm starting to wonder why it still hurts!

2 years? That's awful. I'm glad you're getting back to normal now!

OP posts:
TheBabyAteMyBrain · 27/04/2020 18:07

I had this after ds1, 3rd degree tear might had had something to do with it, I did pop to the Dr's at 9 months pp as we wanted to start ttc#2. Unfortunately I was seen by a complete fool who prescribed me numbing gel and the advice to have dh wear a condom or 'it would numb his penis and stop him feeling anything'.

I didn't fill the prescription, we used a boat load of lube and eventually the problem went away after a year or so. Fortunately it didn't come back after dc2 was born, again with a 3rd degree tear.

I still can't use internal sanpro though as it's too uncomfortable.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Antenatal & postnatal Families General health
WeddingNameChange · 27/04/2020 18:12

I was more stressed when bf and tired, but that may just have been me.

I found a bath first helped me, plenty of lube too even if you think you dont need it.

I am so glad!!
The consultant gave me dialators to use. And I also had a coil put in, which has also helped me because I think part of me was scared of accidentally falling pregnant again even though I was on the pill Blush

They did offer me a few suggestions including an injection down there to relax the muscles, think they said it works for about 6 months but I tried the dialators for 6 months first.

I also have some scar tissue that will need to be removed, but I'm waiting until I decide in the future if I want any more babies before I do it, dont see the point in doing it if I'm not done yet. You should have that issue though with no cuts or tears.

Go back and see your gp and see what they suggest, its definitely worth pursuing. Dont let them fob you off.

Original poster
InkermanStreet · 27/04/2020 18:16

Unfortunately I was seen by a complete fool who prescribed me numbing gel

Confused Crazy. I mean were you just supposed to numb yourself downstairs for the rest of your life every time you DTD?!

I still can't use internal sanpro though as it's too uncomfortable.

Wow. Thanks for sharing your experience.

OP posts:
foxessocks · 27/04/2020 18:18

I had this after both my babies for a year. As soon as I stopped breastfeeding it was all fine again.

Original poster
InkermanStreet · 27/04/2020 18:22

@WeddingNameChange Shock at the thought of injections down there but good to know there are things they can do if it doesn't get better on it's own!

As you say, most of the threads I've read about pain are related to recovery from a tear or episiotomy. I assumed I'd be back in the saddle (so to speak) in no time!

I'll definitely go back to the doctor. Thanks for the advice.

OP posts:
Original poster
InkermanStreet · 27/04/2020 18:24

That's really good to hear, foxessocks!

OP posts:
TheBabyAteMyBrain · 27/04/2020 18:34

@InkermanStreet I'll be honest I was more pissed about the fact that she was more concerned about dhs enjoyment over my pain and discomfort. It was brushed off as being one of those things Angry

Do go and have a chat with your Dr, hopefully they'll be able to help.

ThePug · 27/04/2020 19:32

I had this after both my children were born and both were c-sections so no physical damage. It was impossible for DH to even penetrate it was so tight, sore and burning feeling. Nothing helped. Didn’t improve after DS2 until he was about 14 months, shortly before my period came back. I did some googling and found this which fits to a T. I’m guessing also explains why it took 15 months for my period to come back. www.medscape.com/viewarticle/458970_2

User0ne · 27/04/2020 19:54

I had this for a while after DS2 was born (ds2 vaginal birth, no injuries. Ds1 was born by caesarean). It eased after about 9 months though was consistently made easier by having sex more regularly (twice a week helped but wore off if we missed it).

I hope it gets better soon

Original poster
InkermanStreet · 27/04/2020 20:40

Thank you both, that's really helpful.

OP posts:
Thesecrettreater · 27/04/2020 21:07

Yes I had this and It was because I was stitched up too tight.
I had to go in for correction - fentons procedure.

Teakind · 27/04/2020 21:21

Yes I had this after the birth of my DD. I’ve since had DS and it’s now back to normal. I think I didn’t heal properly after DD. In hindsight I should have gone to the doctors I think.

Falcon1 · 27/04/2020 21:49

I had this too. As with other posters, it got better once i stopped breastfeeding and my periods came back.

Ally19 · 27/04/2020 21:57

Yes I had this after DS. Sex was so painful, almost a burning sensation. Totally fixed itself once I stopped bf.

Needallthesleep · 27/04/2020 22:44

I had this after my DD1, and a planned c section birth. It took a few months, and a fair amount of trying, but everything is totally normal now.

No idea what causes it. It may be worth you seeing a specialist women’s health physio?

MarchSurprise · 27/04/2020 22:50

I had this for what felt like a long time after a straightforward birth. I felt so alone.

At a year postpartum it doesn't hurt anymore, finally! But I'm so out of practice we need to work on making it happen more. We used to have sex at least every day, I reckon we've only had sex 10 times since finding I was pregnant. Poor guy, but hopefully we can get back to normal ow it doesn't hurt anymore!

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