Does anyone else find they have less and less to say.

[BeatrixPottersAlterEgo]

As a child I was very solitary, but as I grew up, I ended up falling into the usual habits of social chit chat, putting myself out there and all the rest. Consequently I work in a fairly busy and noisy job, have plenty of friends, a large extended family. In fact I now have the reputation of being talkative

Since lockdown I seem to be reverting more and more to type. We live rurally and have a large garden, we don't watch much TV. DH is a quiet man. I can feel myself sinking into silence, and it's wonderful. I'm keeping in touch with people mostly via WhatsApp, which is great because I can communicate at my own pace, adding things bit by bit if necessary, but when a relative phoned me recently I found I struggled to keep the conversation going.

I feel like most of the things I say and that other people say are really just noise. I don't feel the need to talk for the sake of it. I've almost lost the ability to maintain that social chit chat and I don't really care

I do love my job, and was so upset when we were all sent home, but the thought of going back to all that noise suddenly feels exhausting.

I think it's normal to have less to say in a phone call because we are all going nowhere and seeing nobody. We call the grandparents a couple of times a week and are dredging the depths to keep chat going.

Hi

Your post resonates with me a lot. I feel exactly the same.

I feel very much the same way, and then have moments of feeling bad because, with all this time on my hands, surely I would want to spend just some of it talking to those I know and love? But I don't. I am loving the peace and silence. I think some of us are just built this way.

Yes a bit, it's just that there is very little to chat about at the moment. All the usual "what did you do at the weekend" or "where are you going on holiday" has gone. I'm missing it dreadfully though.

I started this all keen to be on several a week on zoom meetings with friends and daily video calls with my mum. I have now cut down the calls to my mum to twice a week and groan inside when someone sends a zoom invite.

I am a bit of an Introvert anyway , but I think without the pressure to feel I have to have contact with people I have realised I dont really need or want it. I talk to my mum because shes my mum ,but apart from her I would quite happily only speak to 1 or 2 people once a week at most .

I feel as though chat is the thread that holds my friendships together, without it they might drift away.

You will return to your talkative self I'm sure. Social chat is a tool to connect with others, put them at ease, show you care, show your interest, build relations at work. It has a point.

I agree with pps, there is just nothing much to talk about now. We're not doing much, not making plans.

I'm turning into my mother; talking about the neighbours and discussing the weather are my most interesting subjects now

Yes! I don't quite understand it but I seem to have stopped speaking!

I do live alone though and this time of enforced solitude has been hard for that reason. Maybe I've become so internal I've lost the bridge with the outside world. I met a group of neighbours the other day and all I could do was wave and smile, not a word escaped my mouth.

Unlike you though op I'm not entirely enjoying it. It feels uncomfortable. But meditative I suppose, which is a positive and something I enjoy (which I probably prefer to choose rather than having it forced in me).

(^^I seem to have a lot to say lol)

Yes! People always describe me as 'outgoing' but I have no idea why because I'm the opposite. I have a group of friends that (in normal circumstances) spend time with and we go out to various events etc., but I'm always the quietest one there. Lots of my friends are outgoing but that doesn't mean that I am. I'm pretty quiet at home and work too.

People describe me as outgoing too and I find it baffling!

OP have you ever explored your Myers Briggs Type? About where you draw energy from, how you interact with others, whether your social abilities are learned or innate etc?

I love it all :) Sounds like you are an introverted extrovert! Love being around people, love the hustle and bustle but ne3d peace to recharge.

I am like this. Not having to go anywhere is a massive bonus at the mo (even if I am surrounded by 3 dc, a cat and a dog 😁)

Yes. I'm a huge introvert. I've told people to stop video calling and facetiming me because I find it so irritating. An occasional phone call or text is enough. I just can't be bothered and am past the point of faking it to please everyone else.

When lockdown was announced I uninstalled all social media and messenger apps and my mobile is in my bedside drawer most of the time. I keep in touch with close friends and extended family occasionally via sms and email. I felt like it was a rare opportunity to withdraw from the obligation to connect 24/7 and focus on immediate family and daily routine. I’m a single parent to a teen, so spend most of the day alone other than mealtimes. I’m also an introverted extrovert and I absolutely jumped on this opportunity for peace.
Perhaps it’s what many of us needed.

Absolutely op !

Well there is nothing to say as no-one’s doing anything even vaguely interesting. I’ve run out of things to say DH and I seem to have the same conversations every day.

Gosh what a funny time we're living in! Someone should save threads like this for novelists - to capture the strangeness of our shared situation.

'When we all ran out of things to say'

It won’t last. After lockdown you’ll go back to the way you were before.

A bit but I am in a couple of book club what’s app groups and I enjoy our zoom meetings because we actually have a topic to talk about. I’m sure when lockdown’s over they will revert to being book clubs in name only and the wine and gossip will return!

I didn't even know you could be an introverted extrovert. I do like being around hustle and bustle, but on my own terms and with time by myself to balance it out. I like observing. I have an instinctive sense of the balance I need, I couldn't work all day then go out for three evenings in a row or I'd need the whole weekend free to do nothing, however one evening I could manage easily and two at a push. I always just thought I was a flaneur who couldn't actually do the writing part

Still not a huge amount to say. Not a problem via text - I'm enjoying chatting to friends here and there, I have time to think about what I'm saying and I don't feel rushed - but I feel like my vocal cords are going rusty! DH and I had a fascinating and very fulfilment conversation about a shed that lasted all day at the rate of about ten words an hour, blissful it was.

I'm relieved to hear this, feeling exactly the same...feel i ought to make more effort but have nothing to say. I participate in family zoom gatherings but find them very stressful!

I like the odd chat on line but am enjoying the solitude of just family.