Have you ever used a MNism in real life?

[DitheringBlidiot]

I just asked someone if they meant to be that rude and I feel powerful! Will add a tinkly laugh next time.

I've used fuck off to the far side of fuck and my favourite, cunty-chops.

No! I hope not. Get a grip is universal but still, best not.

If anyone asked me if I meant to be so rude, the answer would usually be yes.

I recently used 'I'd rather shit in my hands and clap'

When DH had really frustrated me one day and was winding me up I called him a "cockwomble". He laughed and asked where I'd heard it from.

Off you fuck, cuntychops. In my defence I was intending to be condescending.

Already used the circus one before I ever knew MN existed

Yes, I do the odd shift in NICU as a ward clerk and I say "this too shall pass" to parents who are feeling down about having to stay in for so long with their babies.

Can't help but saying 'pom bear anyone? ' if we ever have them.
Always tell Dh to buy naice ham when shopping

I always pronounce balloons as Balonz. No one gets it though.

And cutted up pear

I would worry about getting a crick in my neck from all that hea-tilting.

No is a complete sentence
That doesn't work for me

Humble brag. I got a look.

It’s an invitation not a summons. - I say this to myself

Not my circus - essential in a blender family

Who pissed on your cornflakes. - DH was disgusted

Grinding my gears. - now a favourite in this house

I’m comfortable with my choices - to my mum about when to wean the baby. I felt like a bit of a dick saying it but she was in full flow. She stopped talking, looked at me and smiled and said “oh well that’s good darling, you do what you think is best”. Result. Used it to a few people with parenting opinions I don’t enjoy since.

I wouldn’t know a tinkly laugh if I heard one. Is there anyone famous who does it so I can look it up?

@AnneGilbert, sorry to be a pedant, but one pisses on your fireworks and thereby shits on your cornflakes.

Ha ha DD

Maybe that’s why DH looked so appalled, he knew I’d got it wrong

I don't think any of these sayings actually originated on mumsnet!

I was saying pissed on their chips in the 80s.

I sometimes declare "YABU" to DH if he's BU.

Cockwomble, cuntbadger, arsewipe, ODFOD, WTAF, FOTTFSOFATFOSM. I always tell people I get all my swear words from MN, they generally don't believe me.

Naice ham (sounds daft in my accent).

I used 'thick as mince' the other day.

Thick as mince isn't a Mumsnet expression. It's very common where I am, in Scotland.

I wouldn’t know a tinkly laugh if I heard one. Is there anyone famous who does it so I can look it up?

Anne Robinson had a good line in them on The Weakest Link (old episodes currently being shown on Challenge).

This has cheered me up so much! I forgot all about Balonz!