Hello!
I'm after some advice please. I have two sons aged 4 and 5 (11 months apart). My eldest is currently in reception at a school a short walk away from where we live. My youngest is due to start reception this year, however, he was diagnosed with GDD when he was 3, and has recently been approved an EHCP.
He was diagnosed congenital heart disease when he 4 weeks and had heart surgery the same week, he also has a chromosome abnormality. He struggles in social situations, he can only say a few words/phrases and a lot is still babble, resulting in communication issues. He is still in nappies and is prone to behavioural issues and screaming episodes. He will sit for a few minutes on one activity before becoming bored and restless. He struggles sharing/taking turns and rarely sits still, even whilst eating. Me and DP suspect he may be autistic, as he is oversensitive to noise, flaps, spins frequently, and won’t eat foods of a certain texture among various other things. Although, there has been no formal diagnosis as of yet. He’s also suffered from sleeping problems since he was born and wakes 5/6 times a night every night.
Sorry for the long winded background info! Anyway, his EHCP states that he is entitled to 25 hours of support a week in a mainstream setting. I’ve spoken to my eldest’s school and they’ve suggested differing him a year. However he only does 15 hours a week at nursery, and although I am unsure as to whether he’s ready for school, I feel differing him may be counter productive, as he needs a little more structure now.
His SEN keyworker has sent the EHCP to the two local schools, the one my eldest attends and another which is pretty much round the corner from it. They have both said they are willing to accept him based on his plan and that will need to recruit a TA for him, and have asked for an additional 5 hours worth of support.
The dilemma I have is my eldest gets quite embarrassed of his brother at times, he keeps asking why his friends at school call him a baby when he isn’t. He also gets embarrassed on the playground when I drop him off if DS2 is having a screaming fit or stimming. My youngest is also very dependent on his elder brother, he wants to be with him all the time and cannot comprehend when DS1 wants his own space or to play on his own. Since DS1 has started school, DS2’s nursery have stated that he has progressed a lot since being on his own.
So now I’m thinking would they flourish better apart? Would it be easier for them both if they were both at different schools? Or am I overthinking things and should I send DS2 to DS1s school? Do I delay him for a year? Do I consider another kind of provision?
My heads all over the place and I genuinely don’t know what to do for the best. Any advice would be much appreciated!