How is lockdown affecting your mental health?

[Rainbowb]

I’m normally a pretty chirpy person but I am starting to wonder if I have depression now. I’m over eating, crying a lot and losing my temper. I wake up feeling utterly exhausted and just wonder how to get through the day having to put on a smiling face for everyone.

I think it depends on your situation. I am working full time, studying and trying to occupy an energetic 21mth old without all the normal wear them out stuff of playgroups, swimming etc.
I'm. On my knees and my house is a bomb site!!!!

Mine fluctuates. I really dislike my office environment/office politics, and although I could wfh a few days a week, I resented going in to the office the other times. For about 6 months before the lockdown I was very stressed. When the lockdown happened, apart from the fear of catching COVID and will I be able to get food, I felt so relaxed. Slept well, felt well, happier than I had been for ages.

But now I am fluctuating. In the distant horizon I think my job will be under threat. Recession will be hard. I worry that crime will go up massively, and we also have BREXIT at the end of the year to contend with. Yesterday I went to bed in the afternoon (I don't work Fridays) and put ear plugs in and an eye mask on and slept for 5 hours. I just felt so down and wanted to shut out the world . Normally on a Friday I would have been going somewhere, doing something, but I could not face a walk around the same routes yet again. It all felt a bit pointless yesterday. I have no outside space, no family or friends, just my DH who has also been down the last few days.

Today, I feel better. I am about to have a nice bath, with good book, paint my toes. I have fresh pineapple/mango/strawberries to eat with a hefty dollop of greek yoghurt, and later on a roast, plus wine. I will be exercising today and sorting out my summer clothes.

And my mantra is always This Too Shall Pass. So I will be muttering that to myself when things start to dwindle. I think I will try and avoid the bad news this weekend, my mind needs a holiday from negativity. No news, Twitter etc.

It makes you realise though how much time you fret about inconsequential shite in "normal" life. Such a waste of time, energy and focus. That is the one thing I will take from this experience. How most things don't matter, it is all about health and well-being, simplicity and a good spirit.

I just spend my time worrying,I’m going to die from the virus ,I’m fat ,and the more I try to diet ,the more I’m eating .i had bulimia for years ,and those feelings are coming back .
I feel so out of control,home is like a war zone ,I’ve 4 dc ,2 dc have SEN ,and cant be left in a room together,it’s exhausting,I’m always on red alert to check the younger one is safe

@Sadie789 that's a bit harsh and bitter off you!

Although, I have to remind you that some ppl have ample savings and little outgoings -we have worked out the worst case scenario that we could last a year after this with no work (and that's NO work whatsoever for either of us!)

I’m not coping well. I was really happy before lockdown. I work for a small company in a job I love with brilliant colleagues, but I’ve been furloughed. I am struggling without work, and the thought that my employer might not survive this is awful. My DH works long shifts as a key worker so I’m on my own for 15 hours a day with two small children who are suddenly rubbish at bedtime so I don’t get a moment to myself. I’m sick of life being about housework and trying to make three meals a day that everyone will eat, with nothing else to look forward to. I’m doing my best and the kids are fine, but I’m utterly miserable and I think I’ve cried more in the past few weeks than the entire rest of my life.

Mine has improved greatly. Wfh is great and I really do hope my employer continues after the lockdown has ended. No more daily 3 hour commute means so much more time ! I'm doing yoga every morning, spending time with my husband, house, garden and chickens. Getting lots of jobs done that I just never had time for before - yesterday I painted the back and front doors. I'm so much more relaxed and happy. Hubby said yesterday that he's really enjoying me being at home. I'm not resenting having to do and think of everything for us because I now have time and headspace to do it. A small part of me hopes this lockdown continues for a while. It will be lovely once restrictions are eased to be able to see my parents and Sils and Mil and to meet up with friends in person- we are zooming atm. Oh, and the usually very busy trunck road passed our house is very quiet so I'm able to ride my bike into the village to our shop without fear of death!

I’ve actually relaxed for the first time in years. Normally we are a million miles an hour and I’m stressed out and under pressure with work. Obviously there are other worries now but I feel mainly removed from them.

@bigcatlittlecatcardboardbox it’s not bitter to challenge people who aren’t being realistic about the situation.

By the way I’m on full pay and i (am lucky enough to) have a garden but I’m also not kidding myself that this is one big holiday.

It’s not affected me at all. The only thing different is that I can’t go out for dinner and DS isn’t at school. I still go to work and I still go out for my walks. Family live a long way away and I hardly ever saw them anyway.

It's hard.

My job (wfh at moment) is more demanding than ever, working all hours and weekends, as is my husband's job. We're both stressed and not getting on. We have 2 kids at home.

My averagely paid job is the major cause of stress and anxiey in my life. It's worse now. My heart rate and BP are through the roof.

I haven't slept well in 2 months (I don't sleep well anyway) and I can't remember the last time I woke up 'happy'.

But, I have to put the "show face" on in front of the kids.

I’m also not worried at all about getting the virus

Better. I'm a homebird anyways, and feel so much better being off the treadmill.

I'm still working ft from home but it's almost become a hobby rather than a stress. No commute, cuddles from the kids throughout the day, space and quiet to concentrate on my workload, time in the day to do laundry etc.

I don't want to go back to WOTH

I'm not doing very well, was put on antidepressants at Christmas, on a different set since Feb, but I feel so tired, don't wbt to get out of bed, fall asleep in the afternoon, put on weight, feel constantly foggy head. Dh is a keyworker so he's out up until this week working 6 days a week, he's now gone to 5 days a week, he's utterly exhausted. 3 kids, 2 teens and one tween with asd, no one wants to do anything, no one is nice to anyone. I work in a school but due to health can't go in, working from home and trying to study uni work, which has gone online. I feel like chucking uni in, I can't do online work. Talk the dog for a walk last night, and thought how easy it would be to walk in front of a car. I think my head is in a very bad place.

I'm not doing great tbh. It's not the lock down as such, but DP is "very vulnerable" and I'm unable to fully isolate with him as I'm pregnant so have to go into hospital regularly so I'm isolating away from him while I'm at home. Sleeping in different rooms, not using the kitchen (a big thing for me as I've had eating disorders) and no hugs for almost a month . The worst though bis feeling him jump away from me whenever I get near and having a constant feeling that I'm "infectious" and "dirty". I've got a bloody cough now too (no other symptoms so don't think it's covid but still). He's being wonderful and trying to do everything to make me feel better bit I do worry about the long term impact on my mental health. Luckily I have a big gap between appointments now so hopefully will be able to in isolate for a bit soon.

I'm ok generally too.. work in a school office so rota'd on the work one week in every 4, so have some away time from home once a month.

Lucky to have a large garden and house.. moved last summer from a maisonette which I'm sure would have been a lot harder to be locked down in.

Only thing that is causing me extreme anxiety is tge home school bit for my two DC. They are soending far too much time in screens.

Can't complain. Have my husband home - he usually travels quite a bit with work and we are enjoying spending time together. I love cooking - so have spent more time making some lovely meals and we've been catching up with some boxsets too. We're both working - his business has so far been unaffected, so we have no money worries just now. Kids seem happy mostly - they are teenagers, so aren't very needy. Have a garden and a big enough house to find some space when needed.

@IamHyouweegobshite have briefly had similar thoughts. You’re not alone. Please try and hold on. This is a unique situation in that it is going to affect us all in the long run. So we really are all in it together. Comfort in numbers I suppose. Stay strong.

After the initial panic and sadness at not being able to see adult DC and poorly mum, my mental heath has improved massively. In fact I am the least mad I have been in years.

No pressure to accomplish, travel, meet, busy busy busy means that I have relaxed, slept more, calmed down, chilled.
My brain has stopped chasing round in circles, because really, there is not very much to chase. I think I have sort of surrendered to the inevitable.
I ache to see my family, and am sad about that, but the depression, anxiety and OCD have calmed massively

It is very interesting and I hope I can learn lessons from this

Not a huge difference as saving time by online shopping only. Work very, very busy but not frontline so can switch off still.
Weather helping stay happy as walking the dog is beautiful at the moment with tiny lambs aplenty, calves and the bluebells and blossom out. Miss the sea though.

Terribly. But the MN mantra is that some people's has improved and therefore we shall ignore and belittle those who are genuinely suffering and shout them down.

I never cope well with feeling like I don't have the option to get out of the house - I hate days like Boxing Day where everything is closed anyway - I just feel so restless then.

My kids are challenging - one is incredibly angry at the situation (her response to anything is to get pissed off with it) and the other, who has SN is really really unhappy. I'm trying to keep them entertained and school ticking over so the youngest doesn't fall behind - DH is plugged into conference calls all day so I need to keep the kids away from him so he can work, and I've already had to defer my degree exams.

I'm at the point of panic attacks (they're unpleasant but manageable), intrusive thoughts (not ones that I would act on but again not pleasant to share your head with) and everything that is a co-resident in my head when my mental health collapses. But I'm not physically a risk to me or the kids - so I just have to soldier on feeling like this.

But this is MN and the hive mind has decreed MH doesnt matter so this thread will go to shit by page 3 like every other MH thread has.

@sadie789 Thank you. My dh knows I'm not in a great place, and I won't do anything, but these thoughts come into my head when things are not going well. I want to go back to my happy, confident self, but I think that person has buggered off. I try to reach out to friends, but one of them is really upsetting me, constantly putting positive, happy family stuff on fb, and I can't cope with that. I'm a really horrible person.
My ds (15) doesn't get out of bed, wash, barely eats, goes outside, he doesn't see the point of doing anything as exams are cancelled, the only thing he is doing is chatting to friends on his xbox.
My dd2 (11) flits between meltdown to doing what she wants, refused most school work. I'm a Ta and can't even teach my own child.
My dd1 (13) is addicted to netflix, does a little homework, and winds her ds up.
I think I'm lonely, as soon as dh gets home I'm wandering around after him, cos no one else is communicating all day.

@middleager Even having to put the "show face" on all the time is stressful

Work (essential work outside the home) is extra busy.
Dh is "minding" the kids while wfh and also extra busy.
After having palpitations, I found out my blood pressure has gone very high. Gp prescribed sleeping tablets. Dc have still woken me every night due to nightmares / pains.
Dc were given school work and we were told not to stress about...I'm trying not to but do put pressure on myself to make sure the kids do it.
Dh's standards are incredibly low..staying in Pjs all day is ok, eating cake and biscuits all day is ok, 6 hours of screentime is ok. I get home exhausted and have to deal with the aftermath of it.
I'm off today and its a fabulous day...time to destress, I think. Temptation is there to catch up on school/house/real work...
I miss my mum (I need a hug, not a zoom call)

And I know there's lots of people worse off so I feel guilty for being stressed

IamHyou....

Please contact your GP to discuss how you're feeling and your medication and other support options.

Call emergency services if in crisis.

Do you have anyone supportive you can talk too. Remember the Samaritans 116 124 free phone 24 hours a day.

We can get through difficulties but we need the right support and time. Suicidal thoughts are often temporary and pass.

Sending a virtual hug

Wishing everyone all the Best.

correction Samaritans number 116 123

Sorry typo before

@IamHyouweegobshite you’re not a horrible person. Everything you are saying resonates with me, even the friend thing! And the loneliness. It’s weird because the house is full all day. I don’t I have any answers, but you are not the only one.

@DominaShantotto
Completely agree. I hate being unable to go out and “do stuff” feel the same about Boxing Day etc! I get cabin fever at the best of times. Worse now obviously.

I hate that people refer to this as the “new normal”. I want the old normal back, I was quite happy with it.

Also interesting about the MN mantra being “isn’t it lovely”... I can only imagine the people who are suddenly so relaxed and feel the “pressure is off” are working in the public sector as the pressure most definitely is on for anyone in a private sector role or self employed.

I think it’s also very naive to think kids are happier out of school. Maybe in the short term. But being kept away from structure and routine, and away from real life socialising with friends and natural human interaction is a MH timebomb that will blow up in 10 years time when we have a generation of young people who can only exist in an online world.