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I think I want another and I'm surprised by this

4 replies

Elephantonascooter · 25/04/2020 06:58

I feel I need to write this down or get it out somehow and as soon as you speak to anyone in real life about children they get all excited so I just want impartial views.

Dh and I had ds1 19 months ago. I suffered severe PND which meant I felt I didn't want another. I didn't speak to anyone about it until recently, stupidly thinking I could sort it alone. Since seeking treatment, I've felt a million times better, like my patience is restored and like life has some sunshine in it.

Recent events have, like everyone I think, made us reevaluate our lives and goals, thoughts and feelings. Both DH and I have discussed what we want out of life, what parts of our life we enjoy etc and it's hit us like a ton of bricks that we would like another DC. Obviously not right now, pandemic and all that. But once all this is over and dh has sorted his job (he wants to take a drop in responsibility and stress levels to spend more time with us, which is whole heartedly support).
I think I know that once we had another, if I felt the same way as I did with DS, I would seek treatment sooner. And I'm fully aware that PND doesn't strike with each child. But I'm scared it would.

Ds would make such a brilliant big brother.

We live in a 2 bed flat, which we love. Dc would share a bedroom (I always shared rooms with my siblings) and do have a large storage room which could be a short term box room for second DC if needs be.
Finances would be stretched, but we would muddle through, we always do! Am I crazy to want a second DC after everything?

OP posts:
pinkyboots1 · 25/04/2020 07:02

Not crazy at all, it's fab that you're now mentally able to think positively about having another. You've definitely thought it through and seem totally prepared ..... go for it ❤️

Elephantonascooter · 25/04/2020 07:08

Thanks @pinkyboots1. Sometimes I just need another opinion and your reply has given me a boost!

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 25/04/2020 07:08

I had a really bad first pregnancy and my baby was born prematurely and for a long time because of that I thought we’d just have one but then when DD was about 18 months something just clicked and I had an unstoppable urge to have another. DS is now few weeks old and I’m so glad we changed our minds.
It seems to depend on the area but hopefully where you live they will offer you extra support in pregnancy and in the first few weeks so if you were to develop PND then the support is there. A friend of mine was in the same situation and she didn’t develop PND with her second baby but having the support helped with her anxiety about the potential of it.

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StealthPolarBear · 25/04/2020 07:10

Not at all. Most of us are just muddling through. As you say you and dh know what to look out for now and so could pick up on pnd much more quickly. Good luck!

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