Starting to think about my past and things I wish I'd done differently

[kevintheorangecarrot]

I know it is too late now but with all this coronavirus going on... It has really made me think about my old life and just how much I miss being care free. This thread is mainly to get out there how I am feeling. Sorry if it becomes boring or too long!

1. this was over 10 years ago now. I didn't try hard enough in school. I was lazy, incompetent and plain stupid. I didn't do any school work, and just didn't make any effort whatsoever. I left school with zero GCSEs. I just WISH I had kicked myself and studied for my exams, go to sixth form and just make my brain work harder. Now I am stuck in a dead end job on minimum wage

2. I wish that I didn't fall out with my "best" friend. Both of us was so close, but I dumped her for another friend, who then dumped me for someone else. Talk about karma right? I just want to apologise to said "best" friend (who no longer is) and say that if I could change things, I would

3. Nevertheless, I've had some amazing times and shitty times. Crap ex boyfriends. One night stands! Nights out clubbing with all my friends and getting drunk. Having a laugh and just enjoying life. Them days are long gone now! I'm married and have a child, whom I love so very very much.

That's about it so far... I am feeling so nostalgic and upset. My mental health is ridiculous right now but what I am doing is, preparing for the worse so IF anything happens to me, I know I've had a good life and I've got the most amazing and beautiful child I could ever wish for and he is my absolute world. I know he will be OK.

Many people I know are feeling nostalgic, I certainly am.

You sound like you are young enough to get some qualifications and try and start on a new more fulfilling career path?
What would you love to do as a job if you could do anything? What inspires you? What do you enjoy?

Maybe start preparing for if there is a good outcome for you and your family.

You can certainly start to work towards qualifications now, OP.

There are many people who have regrets about their life - I do too. I wish I had done it all a different way. But I didn’t. You are you . You have lived your life your way - Because you are you. And because of the way you lived you life you now have a wonderful son whom you
Might not have if you had made different choices. Don’t waste time regretting. Best thing to do is make changes - if there are things you want to do set a plan and achieve them. Xx

Thank you so much for your replies. I am feeling better today and not really thinking much about the past because I cannot change it now. I've absolutely no idea what I want to do! I must say I'm not good at anything and that's the truth! I think I want to start with getting my Maths and English first and go from there. I did apply to go college but then I had go back to work as we couldn't afford to live on just my husband's income. I could do it from home I suppose... when this whole pandemic is over as my mind is so focussed on not getting poorly right now

You can absolutely continue with your education, and in fact you may be in a better position now, as an adult who has a better sense of what course of study and future job you will be best at

I know someone who went back to university to train as a teacher in her late 30s after her kids were up a bit, she is now the head. I know someone else who worked in a factory until age 27,then went to university as a mature student and is now a trainer/facilitator for the organisation they ended up working for. I can't tell you how many nurses and midwives I know who started training after having their children. Don't worry if it seems like it will take forever - you are what, mid to late twenties? Ten years may seem like ages, but it is plenty of time to have a family and study around it,and you could be in the job of your dreams well before you're forty, with potentially thirty years of working life still ahead of you. You'd be daft not to at least try

You should be able to do Maths and English at night class at your local FE college. A secondary school near to me actually ran an evening class for adults, it was very well attended. Once you have those under your belt there are lots of further night classes you can take in all different things, then if your studies eventually end up taking up daytime hours with placements etc, there is usually financial help out there, or you could do evening shifts in a pub/supermarket while studying during the day while your child is at school or nursery. I've done it myself, and although it's hard work, it's very fulfilling.

You can start now, look at Futurelearn, free online courses from colleges and uni’s all over the world. They’re short, they range in interests, anyone can do it, no one will judge you. What have you got to lose? Go for it.

Just to say GCSE English and Maths are free if you don't have them, your local college should offer it to you, most will have evening classes. Good luck

Don’t dwell on the past. There were reasons for how you made your way through your past.
Look to the future now and go for what you want.
It’s
Get your qualifications. When, you look back in 10 years time you can proud of all your achievements.

It’s never too late to return to education. I did some night classes to gain qualifications I missed out on at school due to ill health. So pleased I did - it’s a confidence booster and opens up other doors. It also only needs a small amount of time commitment - I spent a couple of hours once a week in the class and not much more at home studying. Seriously, do it

It's never too late! Within my social circle I know women much older than me, married and with children, who have juggled and become pharmacists, nurses, dieticians, teachers. There are so many other careers out there for you to choose.

You seem to be around my age, still in your 20s. My friends and I did things 'right' by doing ok at school, going to sixth form, some of us went to uni and others went to work. I am telling you this because we're all in such different places now in terms of employment and home life. Very few of us have everything we want and the seemingly perfect life. It doesn't matter what your past is like, it's how you move on that's important.

You have a plan and that's brilliant! I'm sure you'll find something that you are good at soon, it may well be something you never realised too. Post GCSEs, you might like to look into apprenticeships as they're for everyone, not just school leavers. There will be places that value commitment and the maturity an older person brings. The same goes for certain businesses and employers too. The NHS and some science labs are examples of places where you can be trained upwards from.

What would you love to be doing OP?

Hang on, this looking back is so destructive. I'm doing it too - as you tend to do with enforced longterm isolation. I know this, that the conclusions I come to are brutally negative = I am a dog, a total failure. You said as much in your op. It's a distorted view, really unhelpful xx

A friend of mine , a long time ago, left school at 15, married at 18, first child 21, ended doing o levels and a lot more. OU degree, nurse training, excellent job etc. Just f ing do it. It's not too late. Start small , work up, don't rely on others, just do it.

Things I’ve learnt by getting older: all the points you can win are still ahead of you. You can’t get any of the points that are behind you so forget about those. They don’t impact on what lies ahead. So focus on winning the ones in front of you now. They might be small ones at this moment, but hey, they all count. One day that might be different, but you can’t predict that, so focus on what is in front of you now and make the most of that.

Hey op, I did my GCSES when I was 37.
I went to college in the evenings after doing a dead end factory job during the day.

After my confidence boost with that, I went back and did a couple of computer courses, and eventually ended up in the NHS which is where I still am now.

I’m proud of what I’ve done, but wish I’d knuckled down and done them much much earlier.

Go for it 🙂