Dealing with stroppy dd

[Doseydots]

I have a 13dd who has always been on the stroppy side. She seems to be attracted to dramas. Every day something sets her off. I have tried lots of things. I make sure I spend one to one time with her everyday. She’s very tactile so we still have cuddles. She has a heart of gold and is very caring. However the strops, drama and speaking horribly are driving me mad.

I just need some tips - do I punish her or ignore the behaviour?

I do understand most teenager behave this way but she has always been like this and nothing is changing. The slightest thing can set her off

When she was younger she had a reward chart and that worked, she seems too old for this now.

I think just concentrate on the relationship as much as you can. Definitely don’t punish. Have a v. stroppy/ cuddly teen here too. Good Luck!

Thank you. I try my best with her and concentrate on her qualities. She truly is lovely majority of the time but I just wish she could control what comes out of her mouth

I'm afraid that with strops and rudeness, I require them to take themselves off to their bedroom and they can come out when they can treat others with the courtesy, kindness and patience, that they always expect other to treat them with. And don't even think about slamming the door on the way. . .

It's not punishment, it's saying go elsewhere until you can adhere to the standards of behaviour you've been brought up with from the minute you could toddle and talk.

It's not punishment, it's saying go elsewhere until you can adhere to the standards of behaviour you've been brought up with from the minute you could toddle and talk.

This! I've got one too. Except around our house it's usually more like: "Just fuck off to your room and stay there till you feel like coming out and trying that again - and EAT SOMETHING!" Because 8 times out of ten she's ratty because she's got hungry without noticing. Teenagers eat a LOT. 1 time out of ten it's because she's premenstrual and the other time is because she was right and someone else (sometime me) was behaving like a dick and wound her up.

LOL, you're not wrong about the 'and EAT SOMETHING!' TheSandman.

(That's possibly very much the way it's phrased around here as well. . .)

Thank you. The strops are more obvious at the moment since we are all cooped up together. I am on a constant guilt trip about how I handle it. Although we had a good talk this morning and since then she’s been lovely.

I do find that if you take those moments when you're both feeling benignly disposed towards each other for a chat, and a laugh, it does help. Particularly if you can use that for you both to be able to open up about what is bugging you or stressing you at the moment, and if you can reach the holy grail of being able to suggest possibilities that might make things a little easier. . .

OP, @mbosnz is right.

However, possibly you have been too tolerant to date.

With teenagers you mostly get what you put up with...and a bit more on bad days.

I won't be spoken to with disrespect.
So if someone in this house is pissed with something or just pissed off, trying to speak to me with disrespect will not induce me to being co operative.

You are at tge beginning of some years that can be trying, I would also suggest that you sit down during a calm moment and lay some rules down.

You get treated exactly how you tolerated being treated.

My children have all tried it on, some more than others. But one thing they do know...Mum will do anything for us...but she'll do feck all if I speak to her rudely.

I am super consistent on this point.