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Original poster

If you have had therapy/counselling, how long did you have it for?

26 replies

waytheleaveswork · 23/04/2020 16:50

I've been having psychotherapy once a week for 3 and 1/2 years. It helped me leave an abusive ex, process it, now continuing with it as I find it helpful maintaining good mental health and problem solving in day to day. I can afford it, but I'm starting to think this is 'too long'.

Interested to hear of anyone who continues with therapy/counselling despite not being in a 'crisis'.

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 23/04/2020 17:00

I'm not particularly good with counselling.
I tried hypnotherapy but lasted 3 sessions before I found it all a bit ridiculous.
Also did CBT course but that didn't suit me - I was suffering with grief and not low self-esteem etc.....
After losing my mum as well this year, I really need to look at grief counselling again.
I do see a holistic therapist once a month and have done for years and the first part of that is always a bit of talking therapy.
It help me to just get it out.

If you feel it's still helping then don't stop.
There's no such thing as 'too long'. It's helping so keep at it.

ScrapThatThen · 23/04/2020 17:10

I think long term psychotherapy a year is about right. The ending is an important part of therapy.

Summersunandoranges · 23/04/2020 17:16

It wasn’t for me. I did six sessions with a psychotherapist and it was too much. I’d say that I’m America is normal to go and see a therapist regularly and if you don’t mind paying for it carry on.

But do you really need three and a half years of analysis?

It was in 12 week sets when I did this. There was a clear beginning and a goal. I can understand if you were traumatised as a child and had severe mental health and needed on going care and support but maybe you are using this as a way just to process day to day life?

MozzchopsThirty · 23/04/2020 17:23

I view it as an MOT for my mental health
I used to see my counsellor once a fortnight but now it's just as and when, about twice a year.

She did text me a few weeks ago and asked me to call her if I was having problems, which I did last week. We spent an hour on the phone, no charge, I adore her

greysome · 23/04/2020 17:28

I had a mixed therapy for 6 months during/after an abusive relationship. I probably could have done with a bit longer. I work in therapy myself - CBT, we do up to 24 sessions but more complex services see people for 1 year plus. As for counselling, I had 10 sessions of bereavement counselling which felt about right.

Psychotherapy can be endless, I have one relative who had it for 6 years and another who has been having weekly sessions for 20 years... (and yes I do come from a dysfunctional family). To be honest that's why I've personally avoided it, although I could probably do with some!

totallydevoidofideas · 23/04/2020 17:39

When I had it, it was basically so I could just talk to someone who wasn't a friend, just put all my feelings out there just so I didn't have it all rattling round my head. I didn't especially want anything solved for me, but just wanted to talk about me and nothing else (for once) and not have to take it in turns to be polite or withhold information because my friends might not cope with what I was saying. It was a huge relief to just talk for 45 minutes to get it all out. I did maybe about 10 weeks in total and it was worth every penny.

TooSadToSay · 23/04/2020 17:44

I went for 10 months or so. I'd love to go again but we don't have the money.

Ilovesausages · 23/04/2020 17:47

There is no right or wrong. If it’s helping you then why would you need to stop?

NiteFlights · 23/04/2020 17:50

I’ve had loads over the years. There comes a time when it feels like the end IME - agree that the ending is important. Talk to your counsellor about your feelings? But it sounds like you want to carry on for a while and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that at all.

Babdoc · 23/04/2020 17:54

It really depends on the complexity of the issue(s) for which you are receiving therapy, the efficacy of the treatment chosen, and the speed with which you are able to engage and work through the process.
These are all hugely variable and very individual, so the experience of others may not give you much indication.
I had nine two hour sessions plus “homework”, and found them a great help. I was fortunate to have a brilliant therapist in whom I had complete confidence.

Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 23/04/2020 18:08

Thanks for the responses all.

Yes my therapist is brilliant - it has been a life saving resource. The divorce was finalised last august so I suppose I feel like I should be ending it now, but the space each week to just 'check in' feels very stabilising amongst so much change.

OP posts:
Gingerkittykat · 23/04/2020 18:10

I had counselling for around 4 years but during the last year started going a lot less often, the relationship ended up breaking down in a bad way and I felt she didn't get me any more.

Don't let what other people think influence your decisions. If you feel it isn't working any more or you are feeling more able to cope without that support then look at stopping but if it is still helping you then continue.

ParkheadParadise · 23/04/2020 18:17

I had bereavement counselling for about 12months. I started counselling 6 months after my loss.
At first I found it very hard to open up. Sometimes I spend the sessions crying.
Eventually it did help me move forward.

happypotamus · 23/04/2020 18:28

At university, I can't remember exactly, a few months, got me through a crisis and out the other side and then I graduated.
About 15 years later referred to someone through work, was meant to be open-ended but after a couple of weeks she announced she was leaving the job so I went for 6 weeks. It wasn't successful, I felt worse for going.
Extremely reluctantly agreed to try again via a different work referral. Was always going to be only 6 weeks, next week is the last week. It has not gone well. I didn't think I would get to a point where I could start talking about anything important and get anywhere near solving it in 6 weeks, because I am really bad at opening up to people. Then, it ended up having to be on the phone due to coronavirus, and I am really uncomfortable talking on the phone anyway. So, that's it now. I have given up on counselling.

mrsmoppp · 23/04/2020 18:30

I went 2 weekly for around 7 weeks but didnt finish the full course. I found it really stressful going over and over things each time I went and didnt feel I was gaining anything from it

Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 23/04/2020 18:31

That's really rubbish @happypotamus. Sorry you have had such a poor experience.

I think therapy/counselling is really tricky to 'get right' in terms of length, type of treatment and just general circumstances.

Hope you find other forms of support

OP posts:
millymaple · 23/04/2020 18:54

Five years so far.

Extensive history of trauma means it’s been needed.

LaurieFairyCake · 23/04/2020 19:14

I'm a therapist and I've seen people from once to 10 years so there's no such thing as too long

The ones who have been very long term have recovered from serious addiction/trauma

A year isn't really 'long term', I would say long term is over 2 years - some people have very deep rooted issues and can take a long time to trust - and 40 hours isn't really that long a time (with holidays/sickness etc)

Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 23/04/2020 19:18

Thanks @lauriefairycake, useful perspective

OP posts:
springydaff · 23/04/2020 19:20

6 years, all in. I could do with more. Yy toxic family etc etc. Imo 6 weeks does more harm than good

If its doing it for you then carry on - would you think you'd been going 'too long' to your beautician? Admittedly, not quite the same lol but life is tough, if it's your little corner then go for it. But talk to your therapist about how you're feeling.

happypotamus · 23/04/2020 19:59

I agree that, for me at least, 6 weeks does more harm than good. I started out hopeful, I had an idea what the issues were that I wanted to deal with, I surprised myself the first week by managing to talk a bit even on the phone, but, then it got harder because he was asking harder questions, I couldn't talk anymore and I didn't feel he had any solution to how hard I found it to talk, and after the first 3 weeks, I felt there wasn't much point in trying to talk too much in case I opened a massive can of worms that we wouldn't have time to deal with before the 6 sessions were done, especially as he told me at the start that we would have to do questionnaires in the last session (I think repeat of questionnaires we did in the first, to see how effective it was, I intend to lie because there isn't much point in saying how much worse I now feel). Unfortunately, I don't think there is a route by which I can be referred for more than 6 sessions.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 23/04/2020 20:03

I had 18 months of psychotherapy and 6 months of cbt on the NHS. All of which seems to have been undone by the current situation.

My psychiatrist wanted to re-refer me but I don't see that happening now.

Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 23/04/2020 20:33

Thanks all.

I am fortunate enough to have not had severe childhood trauma. My 3 years or so does seem on the longer side...

OP posts:
Original poster
waytheleaveswork · 23/04/2020 20:36

@happypotamus that is so frustrating. I do think CBT/ short term counselling is very limited in being able to address root issues. 6 sessions in and I had barely started on the deep stuff.

OP posts:
CCaK · 23/04/2020 20:36

I previously did 5 years of gestalt and plan to restart after lockdown.

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