Please help me! I have a 4 week old that im struggling with

[Letsallscreamatthesistene]

Please be kind, im posting here as it seems to get more traffic.

I am lucky enough to have a healthy 4 week old who was born at 40+5. The birth was traumatic for me though, ive got appointments for counselling for PTSD from it.

I dont know if its the stage my baby is in, but he just wont settle. He sleeps well at night and is very predictable for his night feeds - generally at 9, 12, 2.30 and then 5 or 6 (mainly). His day time sleep has always been erratic. Until 2 or 3 days ago he was easy to lull to sleep in the day after a feed but its all changed now. For example, today he woke from a nap at 9.30, and has only just gone down again at 2 with A LOT of effort to help him nod off. He's been tired since 10.30 but just couldnt sleep longer than 10/20 mins. I try everything - dummy, white noise, a walk in the pram, a bit of warm milk, swaddling, but nothing works. Im pretty sure he's only asleep now because he's so exhausted rather than any of my efforts. My partner is away a lot today, so I knew id be on my own with the baby for 12 hours. I spent last night awake thinking I didnt want today to happen.

Im coming to dread everyday. Every day is a battle for sleep. Its not so much the tiredness on my part, its the rigmarole of getting the baby to sleep every day. Its draining and I dont know how much longer I can carry on doing it.

I spend a lot of time worrying if hes developing typically. Should he have smiled yet? Should be be cooing yet?

Does it get better? I read a lot that it gets better around 6 weeks or so, but I just cant see how, or how i'll get there without breaking down.

Thank you for reading x

How's it going, @Letsallscreamatthesistene?

Just another person here saying it gets better. You are in the worst stage - in my experience anyway. As they grow the challenges change to different things, but things that are more manageable mentally. Nothing compares to the first 6 weeks. It’s hell.

I had one of them swingy chairs for mine the ones that swing on their own and play music. Godsend during the day for naps

Hi All

Since I posted its gotten better. He's 5 weeks tomorrow and I think starting a growth phase as he's been super sleepy, but so hungry. Last night he woke every 1.5/2hrs for a feed.

I discovered that I was trying to get him into his sling when he was already agitated, ive started to get him into it a bit earlier now and hes content there.

Someone mentioned that they noticed that their baby could only tolerate being awake for maybe an hour at a time, so I started paying attention to when he woke and when he seems to get tired. Turns out he rcan only really tolerate maybe 1.5hrs before he starts to get agitated, so ive started with the sleep interventions earlier to stop the agitation. i feel like ive 'learnt' him a bit more now, but im sure that'll all change soon!

Thanks all for your help. Im pretty confident ill be back for more advice though. Not being able to have parents/parents in law visit to help out is really tough.

It's such a good feeling when you start to become more confident!
Your doing so well OP! You've got this! Xx

Sounds like you're doing a great job. I found that as soon as I felt I'd got a routine baby would grow and develop and I'd be dealing with a new thing. Although that can be good as well, this too will pass was something that comforted me!

Must be very difficult without parents at the moment. I found if I phoned my mum she'd have forgotten what she did for whatever issues I had, but hands on she was fab at being calm and supportive.