Anybody else find looking at old photos of yourself upsetting?

[Jael36]

I feel like I should look at childhood photos and be happy that I was happy once. I shouldn't let my current unhappiness taint the past but when I see photos of me as a kid, I just think of how the kid in the photos was happy (and completely oblivious to what a weirdo she was ) and would never in a million years have believed that she'd end up with my life. I don't seek out old photos to be upset by but family share them sometimes.

Is it just me?

we have a good laugh at our photos when they appear out of the bushes.

You dont want to live sad all ur life, u need to get ur pen and paper and draw out an action plan to ur happiness goal. Otherwise you'll b right there in 20yrs reflecting on these years feeling even more sad.

Yeah. I get this.

Yes OP, totally understand

Yep. I was a cute kid. Which my godfather seemed to agree with. He sexually abused me. I look at photos of me as a wee kid sat on his knee before it started and it breaks my heart.

I too do this. I was happy then, no nasties going on, but my adult life has not gone well.

@StuckBetweenDarknessAndLight I can’t even imagine what you’ve been through, I’m so sorry. Hope you have supportive people around you

Yes, but for the opposite reason. I look at that emotionally abused, neglected, bullied kid, smiling despite her abject misery and mental health problems, and my heart breaks for her.

I just want to reach into the photo and give her the big hug she needs and tell her she’ll be alright in the end.

Same as Pink

Yes I agree with you. Takes me back to a happy childhood and I feel sad when I stare at my little face to think of how my adult life has been wasted.

I feel sadness as I had a terrible childhood, (even though I was such a sweet little girl), which at the time I could do nothing about, as I was completely at the mercy of my parents.
Now I'm an adult, I'm responsible for my own happiness. So are you.

I have a very vivid memory for childhood, and usually I'm very happy when looking at old photos; in a way it confirms how things were as I remembered. My family has a vast collection of photo albums, which I love looking through. Indeed, I've done the highly unmumsnetty thing of recreating old childhood photos. (And I'm proud of it!)

Sometimes, however, I feel sad when visiting childhood places, especially if they've changed significantly; such as playgrounds now containing "safer" equipment than they did when I was a child.

Thank you for this thread, I'm glad (also sorry) to read that I'm not the only one who feels immense sorrow when looking back at photos of myself.

I see an innocent girl, with no idea how life was about be torn apart by multiple traumatic bereavements. And a little girl who would grow into an adult carrying multiple, huge issues from childhood which have really fundamentally shaped my life.

I don't feel very much of anything when I look at old photos of me. It's like looking at someone else. I can't connect it to me.

I feel v sad when I look at photos of my adult children when they were small. When they were all mine before they grew up and disappeared into the big wide world. I so miss their childhood years and find myself amazed that it has all slipped by so quickly .It induces a sort of panic that life is way too short and I need to waste no more time.So i find most old photos stir feelings of sadness for me but esp those of my kids.
I said to my husband the other day ( after misting up over a photo of our toddlers playing in the snow) what a shame it is thatI took all these photos to capture my precious memories and yet now I can't bear to look at them.

Yes, generally with specific photos though. I recently found one my mother had in which I'm about four, red-faced and crying. It brought back a vivid memory - I really didn't want to have my photo taken that day, for some arbitrary 4-year-old reason that I can't remember now. My mother slapped me until I stood in place for the group photo. I can't imagine turning taking pictures into some kind of power struggle - and then keeping the resultant photo of a clearly distressed child in a family album. I had to destroy it, it upset me that much.

Mostly photos of when I'm very small evoke a nostalgic feeling, but anything above the age of 7 or so makes me feel sorry for the unhappy child I was.

I'm so sorry to those of you who had abusive childhoods. Bringing that up for you wasn't my intention. I'm fortunate that I'd had an alright childhood.

Just life didn't turn out anything like I thought it would. I didn't turn out anything like I thought I would and that makes me a bit sad for the kid that I was.

Completely. I can’t look at photos or watch home videos from my 20s when ds was little. My life is so different and so shit now compared to what it was.

I had an unhappy childhood and yes they just really upset me.

I destroyed all the old photos of me so I would never have to look at them. Today's generation won't have that luxury, digital images live forever.

Like a PP said, I look at photos of me as a child and it's like I'm looking at a totally different person. I can't connect who I am today with that little girl.

I don't even need the photos, I always miss the happiness I felt in the old days. I mean there have always been lows mixed with the highs, of course, but I realise that there will never be a point when I feel quite as euphoric as I have done in the past, and that's terribly sad I think. As I've grown life has changed to the point where there's always a shadow over it, even if I'm basically 'happy'. It's quite hard to come to terms with really.

Totally understandable.

I'm glad (in a way) it's not just me. Lockdown seems to have a load of my relatives trawling through old photo albums for amusement.

I don't feel like the kid in the photos even exists anymore. I knew I didn't have any friends but for a long time I didn't make the connection that I didn't have friends because nobody wanted to be my friend. Daft as that sounds. I think the realisation changed me as a person and definitely not for the better.

For some reason I destroyed most of my photos. I don't remember but apparently my brother ratted on mum about this (which is something he would have done!). One photo I remember being teased about was a very round faced me, hair scraped back into non flattering pony tail, wearing a home made (by mum-in case you think I have the talent) kind of grey tweedy material dress with foul pink knitted sleeves. Ugh!

Weirdly, most of the time I looked quite good in my photos but in my teens like most girls I was convinced otherwise. I never suffered acne, just one or two spots but drama! drama! I was SPOTTY!

I actually looked at a photo recently taken at my 21st. I had lost some weight, my hair had a lovely wave to it and I looked quite good. I am glad to say that during the no -hairdresser time, my hair mostly looks as good as then although much thinner :( However, the sweat and sun make it a bit frizzy.

Pity I didn't have any confidence back then!

I hate looking at photos of myself from around the time I was 13-16. I was so fucking ugly.