My toddler won't eat! Stressing out

[Trapordo]

It's stressing H and me out, although I'm not overly concerned because I don't think children can starve themselves, can they?

Anyway, for the last 3/4 days, DS has refused all foods given to him. He's always been a fantastic eater and never fussy, will pretty much try whatever you give him.

Now though he's refusing all foods. Not just new foods but now refusing firm favourites too. Just won't engage with it. May open his mouth for one tiny bite, then throws it or just stops even acknowledging its there.

DS is off the chart for centiles (in 12 to 18 month clothing). So that adds to the worry because he can't afford to be any smaller!

Does anyone have any answers? When do you see a GP? DH is really on at me about it. I assume it'll just stop when he's hungry enough?

He will always accept breastfeeds but doesn't feed much at all now, maybe 2/3 times a day

Forgot to add, we aren't making a huge fuss and making a show of it all. We don't want to encourage no eating further. But he isn't engaging anyway so he doesn't seem to think like that (suspected ASD)

He isn't unwell. No temp. His usual happy self

Is he teething?

Don't have any answers really I'm afraid apart from try and check tonsils. My youngest doesn't get a temp with tonsillitis but when I've looked in his mouth after a period of not eating much it's usually that.

Also here is my last resort toddler dinner.

1 beaten egg
1 mashed up banana
2 spoonfuls flour

Makes 2 toddler sized American pancakes

Got me through lots of teething and there are worse dinners than an egg and banana. I sometimes added raisins for extreme bribery.

Hope LO is ok

Wouldn't say he's teething. He never has before, didn't even drawl as a baby really. So not sure what I'm looking for. He isn't in any discomfort

Impatient Thank you for the recipe! I will also try and look at his throat

How old is he?

I have three DC, all really good eaters, and they ALL went through a random fussy phase at around 13/14 months. My theory is that they suddenly learn that they have the option to say no (whereas before that hadn't really occurred to them) and enjoy the power it gives them!

So my advice is to try and be very very chilled about it. Keep offering food at mealtimes, but act like you don't care if he eats it or not. This removes the emotional response. Fingers crossed it will be a short phase.

Can you ring your health visitor for advice? Is he stopping because he wants to go and play? Could you give him snacks "on the go"? I think you're right not to make a fuss. And keep an eye as it could be a sore throat so something may be brewing.

He's 2.5. So well beyond knowing 'no'. He's never done the typical toddler thing of 'no' for no apparent reason other than a power trip. He's very chilled and disinterested in people really so never really makes a fuss of moaning to irritate and cause a reaction if you see what I mean

Do try and see if he has something which is causing him pain in his mouth or throat.

Will he let you look in his mouth with a torch?, Can you make a game of it and probably better, use your phone to take pictures of the inside of his mouth, gums and throat to show your GP if necessary.

Kids with ASD will totally refuse food, but it's more a sensory issue. This presentation of healthy appetite and food variety to absolutely nothing overnight to me suggests pain of some sort.
Kids with ASD do often not have the same pain responses as NT kids.

Kids with ASD do often not have the same pain responses as NT kids.

Do they often feel pain less? For example, from about a year old I was always fascinated by DS if he hit his head, fell over, etc. It takes a LOT for him to get upset. Usually he just gets up and rubs his head i' a confused state

My DD and DS have both been through phases like this, but I do think a chat with your GP or HV would help.

For DD it was her back molars that caused it, she wouldn’t touch most food except toast or biscuits - anything with a good crunch as she’d use it to put pressure on the back of her gums, most of her other teeth didn’t bother her as much as the back molars did.

My DS is also suspected ASD (assessment suspended for obvious reasons!) and he will just go off his favourite foods with little to no warning. Does your DS drink water/diluted juice a lot? My DS has a massive thirst drive and would probably sit drinking from the tap all day if we let him. So we had to cut down on his water intake before meals as he’d drink until his stomach sounded like a hot water bottle!

Will your DS still eat any treats that you might offer (example - my DD is a cookie fiend, we don’t offer them on a regular basis but if she’s turning food away we will try her with a cookie, if she eats that we’re pretty confident all is well she’s just going through a low appetite phase, if she refuses a cookie then we will look a bit more in depth as to what might be causing a problem).

I hope you figure it out soon. If it helps, my DS seems to eat less in warmer weather (I’m the same) so I tend to offer sandwiches, salads (most of which ends up on the floor of course) and light meals rather than big dinners.

Also - like your DS, ours is unlikely to complain with pain, he’s had some right good falls since he discovered running and gets up and carries on like nothing happened - it takes a lot to make him upset, he never signalled pain with teething in a typical way, but when DH and I had tried most things to get him to eat when teething, we’d offer a bit of calpol and see if he improved (most times it worked)

Has he just finished a growth spurt? DD eats me out of house and home when she's growing and then when she stops her food intake drops right down.

If you can't see anything wrong, he's still drinking and he's happy in himself I wouldn't worry. Carry on as usual and he'll eat again when he's hungry.

My daughter reverse weaned herself at about 1 until she was about 2.5. Would only drink milk. Refused everything even chocolate buttons. In her case it was after having tonsillitis. I think she just didn't like the feeling in her throat. Took her to the dietician and they just said to keep giving her the milk if that was what she wanted and offer foods. She grew out of it eventually

Do they often feel pain less

Every child with autism is different, some don't appear to feel pain or show that they feel pain the way you'd expect an NT (neuro-typical) peer to react. Others have super-sensitivity and feel the slightest touch as an assault.

Also their processing speed can be quite a bit longer, so when trying to find what's the problem, if asking 'Does it hurt here, or here?' and touching the areas, give them time to respond to the first 'here' before you ask about a different area. Keep all questions very simple.

This may help you sort out if any issues are sensory, from what you've said I'd guess not, but you know your child
www.falkirk.gov.uk/services/social-care/disabilities/docs/young-people/Making%20Sense%20of%20Sensory%20Behaviour.pdf?