How to reduce kids TV time. Tips please!

[Lovingmylife]

This is totally my fault and DHs fault but for a variety of reasons, my 8 year old always wants to watch TV. When he is upset, he wants the TV on to calm down, if he doesn't get a bedtime program, it's the end of the world. The tantrums are epic. He does have processing and sensory issues so that's probably some of it plus he has attention issues linked with the above. I think we are at the point where we, as parents, have got lazy and have wanted to avoid the fight, and he is missing out on lots of other fun things as a result. He does love arts and craft, he loves stories, he is an outdoor child. But he doesn't initiate that much. Lockdown has shown me blind in the face how he withdraws into TV. I don't know if now is the wrong time to tackle it or the right time to tackle it. But I really need some tips on it. I can't decide whether to cold turkey it or not. I suggested to DH we remove the TV from our room but he wasn't keen. He doesn't really want to play with toys as such, definitely loves a good run around and active things. But he gives up so easily. Almost to the point he won't try. I don't know if that's linked with TV or not but I just think it would be better if we took the control back. Life is already stressful enough.

I'm especially keen if you've done it yourselves

What's wrong with a bit of tv? Surely the best way to cut down, if it really is that much, is to offer him an active he wants to do-we are doing x craft, going for a bike ride etc. But cold turkey seems a bit much. I watch tv everyday,not loads but it helps me wind down

We set a routine. He's so inclined to be addicted. And not in the "tee hee he's addicted to the TV" pretend way, serious disgraceful meltdowns when he is given too much and we turn it off.

No TV before 9am. No TV after 7 unless we're watching a movie. And we set a daily routine around it. He's simply not able to dip in and out healthily the way other children are.

@antisocialdistancer yes we have the meltdowns too which is making me think it's a problem.

@peppaisabitch nothing wrong with TV. I love a bit of telly myself. But it's more the case that if someone isn't entertaining him or he is upset about something, TV is the default option. Even when he has friends over he wants to watch TV. Obviously we aren't having friends over at the mo, but in the past.

I have a Ds with sensory issues.

Things bi would do. Find other ways that give him sensory stimulation, sensory toys , trampoline. . If he won’t play independently sit with him play and sit back for a bit and join in. Set him challenges to feed back to you .

I would keep the night program . Don’t wind things up at night.

You might find also reading books together about tv programs big he isn’t a reader.

Set a schedule. I’ve found that this is trickier as kids get older, as extracurricular activities and homework make getting the scheduled amount of time harder to arrange. In this case, I’d use a chip or token system, in which I give out, for example, four chips that each represent 15 minutes of screen time, and kids cash them in whenever they want during the day. To keep track of time, particularly for watching YouTube or playing games (where there isn’t always a natural end point), use a timer. Don’t negotiate, because the minute you get into negotiating, that boundary becomes very weak.
Get a TV times and help him pick out specific programmes at specific times. It might help if he highlights them or circles them. It makes him feel in control of what he’s watching and makes his watching more purposeful.
Give him meaningful alternatives to screen time, something goal-orientated or directed, such as a jigsaw or watering the plants. That way, hopefully he’ll get a sense of satisfaction when it’s completed. Also, try to find long-term projects for him to get stuck into. Show an interest in what he does when he’s not watching Tv.
At first he’ll find it tough but gradually he’ll get better and better at occupying himself.

Mine have strict times on school day. It goes off at 7am. They are allowed it after 5pm if they've done everything they've been asked to (homework, laundry, tidying) until we eat.

No homework, no tv.
Laundry not away, no tv.
Refusal to turn off when asked, no tv the following day.
Gaming type screens only at weekends if they've completed all school work.

My oldest has SN and me asking him to turn the tv off ends up in a massive tantrum. But he accepts "its 7 o'clock, time to turn it off". No idea why, unless it's because he can't argue with a clock!

I have found that we are getting into a routine and although they are watching too much, I need to allow it to do some work. They usually get up between half 6 and 7. I let them watch TV until half 9 whilst I do some work. Then it is turned off until lunch. They have it for another hour whilst I do more work and then from 4.30 they can have it so I can work and cook tea. We watch a film in the evening together.
I find it helps to give loads of warnings and offer something they want to do. So "15 mins and then we are doing x" "10 mins until we are doing x".

I have two DS with autism who love watching TV/screens. Agree with pp that a schedule is a good start. We also use transitions (though that's a lot harder at the moment). If we say 'no IPad or TV' after breakfast to tea time then that helps.

DS1 has ASD and is very sensory with it. TV/ tablets is his zoning out from the world time which does have value.

He is given blocks of time, often with a condition. We are having tech/ screen free blocks of time and the DCs accept it. Sometimes grudgingly to begin with, but being upfront about timings, expectations, and counting down to transitions help. It is a bit better since they've developed a better concept of time, but they will still swear blind that 2 hours was 10 minutes!

The only thing I can suggest is getting a routine in place and be strict with it. My DS is 6 and would watch it all day if he could!!!

He has tv first thing in the morning, then its school time (or on a weekend he has a Zoom dance class). TV off and I literally hide the remotes. School work is obviously not continuous the whole morning, so if I tell him to go play for 20 mins, he needs those remotes hidden!

Again, no tv all afternoon until later in the day. I have to have plenty of things lined up for him - art/craft activities, a trip to the park. Often he'll know he'll be allowed screen time when he returned from a mid afternoon trip to the park, so that encourages him to get out.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions..I have tried to create a bit of an activity to do list and got him to choose what he wants to do and then also the order he wants to do it in, including school work so there was a sort of agreement in place. It seemed a bit nicer for him and actually he was more chilled.