Disappointed by negative pregnancy test

[Elsie28]

I feel so daft but just wondering if anyone can relate. I don't think I could handle another baby right now, DD is a couple of weeks away from her 1st birthday and she's the most wonderful little thing, she's more than I could ever have hoped for, but naturally as she's becoming more mobile and developing, she's quite a little handful.

My hope is once DD is in school that DH and I can try for another baby, we've always wanted 2 kids, not with too much of a gap between them (not that these things can really be planned) and with one in school the hope was that it would be a little easier and of course save money on childcare.

However, I recently had a pregnancy 'scare', I'm on the implant so not really a scare, just had a few symptoms similar to pregnancy and got a little worried. Took a test (or 3!) all of which were negative. Symptoms have since gone too. As ridiculous as it is, I'm so disappointed! No I didn't want kids so close together, especially not if it means getting pregnant during a pandemic, and yet here I am in tears! I've been thinking about how it might be nice to have children closer in age than I planned and it would mean going back to full time work sooner since I wouldn't have to wait years again until the second is in school. DH certainly isn't ready for another anyway. But can anyone relate to the disappointment even though you're not ready? Am I going mad?

Sounds like your heart wants one now while your head had set itself up to think in a few years would be ‘right’

Taking a pregnancy test at any time is tricky because you are forced to think about the what ifs of either result. Maybe this experience might make you reevaluate your timings? Maybe wait a month or two then have a chat with DH if you’re feelings have genuinely changed? It may of course be nothing and in a few days you’ll know it was just a fleeting idea.

I may be biased as I have a 22 month gap and think it’s wonderful.

Thank you so much for your reply

Yes definitely think it's a head vs heart situation, thank you for the advice! Think I'll do as you suggest and stew on it for a little while, hopefully I'll get a clear idea of what I want. Not sure what my chances of convincing DH will be though haha. The more I think about it, the more appealing a smaller age gap is.

I wouldn’t TTC in the current climate OP. I’m currently pregnant, 26 weeks so pregnant way before covid kicked off and it’s a really crap situation to be in. I just want to go outside and I’m not allowed, well aside from the garden or to midwife appointments. It’s a sad state of affairs, you’re better off as you are for the time being!

@Umnoway

Definitely agree, even if we do decide to have another sooner than planned, it certainly won't be during this pandemic, pregnancy under normal circumstances is stressful enough. I feel for you and sending hugs hope your pregnancy is going well considering.