Is weight gain in the teen years inevitable?

[BarbeDeMaman]

My DD (Almost 18) is distraught to find she has gained 35lbs in the past two years (since 16). She was always a slim child and reached puberty at 13 which gave her curves but she was still v. Slim. She used to be very sporty, eased off a bit but still played sport several times a week. Anyway she's watching her food intake and upping her exercise for now.

I grew up in the lean 80's so too much food was not an option nor were sweet treats a regular thing. DD has a big appetite and a sweet tooth but food at home is sensible and home cooked, she just seems to eat a lot (according to what she says she has at school).

She's upset at this weight gain and while I want her to be happy with her lot I struggle to find the right words. For example when she started gaining weight I used to say make sure you're making the healthy choices e.g. an apple instead of chocolate but it feels like a diplomatic minefield. Do I acknowledge the weight gain? She has suffered from bouts of depression and at the moment her body makes her feel unhappy. I want her to accept and like herself but also for her not to think it's okay to eat rubbish.

My mother says oh it's just puppy fat! But is it? Do women gain weight at this age and then lose it as they get older? Or is the beginning of a lifetime of watching what she eats?

no it's not inevitable and I recommend she she shun any hint of diet culture and get into a healthy lifestyle now - as a formerly obese person I do not buy into this body acceptance stuff. Telling myself that crap just led to me getting dangerously obese.

So much more is known now about how this stuff works. Weightlifting and lots of protein and good healthy fats are the way. Limit sugar. No, she won't get bulky muscle wise which always seems to be a concern but won't happen unless following a bulking program with quite insane amounts of protein and hypertrophy exercises

Rather than the old way of low fat and tons of cardio. Many low fat items have added sugar and eating low fat causes gallstones

Accurate calorie control still applies though.

I recommend following Katie Crewe on instagram, though she's currently pregnant so don't expect to see a flat tummy, haha. Her weighted and bodyweight workouts on fitplan app are ace.

Some girls are still filling out and developing at that age so weight gain could be necessary and normal, but on the other hand your original post seems to suggest your daughter is overweight, which shouldn’t be inevitable.

I think it’s especially important we all practice self care as best we can, giving thought to our health and well-being at this time, so I think conversations around eating well and exercising are appropriate, and also about being kind to ourselves and looking after minds as well as bodies. I wouldn’t refer to her weight or dieting unless she brings it up herself - just healthy habits for difficult times.

What is her current height and weight?

There is no way of telling from what you have posted whether she has gone from skinny to middling (in which case, the issue might be how she sees her body) or normal to overweight, or whatever

If she hadn't weighed herself for 2 years, why did she choose to now? Is there anything else going on in her life?

I'd worry less about the weight gain and concentrate on whether or not she is a healthy weight now. Teenagers do their growing at different times.

This sounds similar to my son but I would be cautious but not worry. Just try to be supportive about healthy choices and I don't think there should be a problem

I think it depends on where she started. If she was a complete rake and is now a healthy weight with an adult woman (which she now is) shape, fine.
If she’s now 35lbs overweight that’s a different issue entirely

Is she able to do any exercise at home that may burn more calories than usual? I mean vs. gentle exercise like yoga, etc.

I actually think it is quite usual in the later teen years. From what I remember from myself and my friends. I think it comes from more freedom over food choices, having your own money, going our with friends where meals may be involved etc. It is exciting being able to buy whatever food you want with no parents to say no. However as your daughter is probably now finding out, too many of the wrong choices can lead to weight gain.

I noticed that a lot of my friends and myself included, became slimmer and more toned etc in our twenties when uni was over and when we learnt that we couldn't eat and drink whatever we wanted without becoming overweight.

I personally think that acknowledging the weight gain in a gentle way, if she asks, is the right thing to do and then be constructive about how to address. I don't think there is much to be gained from assuring her that it is fine to be overweight, if she is.

Is she overweight on the nhs site that tells you her bmi? If not don’t worry.

I think she’s probably eating a bunch of crap during the day and that’s the cause. Perhaps forgetting to mention some sweets here and there or a fizzy drink?

Does she realise that the likes of a bar of chocolate has way, way, way more calories than say an apple or two, although both will fill her up the same amount?

It’s not about how full and satisfied you feel it’s about your choices to achieve that. If hers aren’t good ones....

She could google how long will i have to walk to burn off (and put in various foods). I know it varies from person to person due to metabolism and what their weight is, but it may give her the info she needs to understand just how much impact bad choices can have. And how much exercise and what type she could take to try and burn off the bad choices so she can sometimes enjoy a little treat.

Ignore the above if you think she may have any eating disorders, you need professional help for that.

No it's not inevitable.

She needs to up her exercise and understand the food she's eating. So many hidden calories in processed food. She also needs to understand portion control, sugar highs and crashes and (if she drinks) the amount of calories in alcohol.

It's very common to put weight on at this point in life - less structured exercise (not in school anymore), more independent food choices, starting to go to pubs etc. But it's not inevitable and it's so much easier to prevent weight gain than to lose it once it's gone on.

We have had an obesogenic culture for decades, so she shouldn't beat herself up,
but if she is now overweight or nearly so, then she needs to change eating & exercise habits

Unfortunately, high calorie junk food is pushed all the time at kids especially,

No, teen or 20s chub wasn't at all normal when I grew up, late 1950s - early 1970s,
but it was NOT superior morals or willpower, just complete lack of temptation

There was one fat kid in my entire primary school, 2 in my grammar school, 2-3 at uni - and they'd look pretty average weight today
Otherwise all of us were skinny, no chub even before teen growth spurts
People mostly didn't get overweight until middle age, if then.

No, if anything I was a chubby kid but a slim teen after puberty

It's not inevitable and it's not puppy fat.

Just like the 64% of overweight UK adults, it's about lifestyle and choices (obvious medical problems excluded).

Kids just tend to be brought up with way more food and snacks than past generations, which can often become problematic when they stop doing PE and take less exercise in general.

Little kids will run around the house and garden - teenagers tend not to, yet both are often overfed from weaning and have never been allowed to feel hunger between meals.