Is it normal to feel weepy and shaky if your DP shouts/snaps at you for something minor and then apologises a few minutes later?

[Thatone5]

Is it normal to feel weepy and shaky if your DP shouts/snaps at you for something minor and then apologises a few minutes later, yet I’m unable to let go and will feel hurt, emotional shaken, teary etc. all day long and a certain dislike towards him, even if he has in the end apologised calmly for this outburst over something minor.

DH and I will sometimes disagree/raise voices/bicker with each other over minor things and then avoid each other's company for a little bit until we've both calmed down and are ready to move on. There's no continued bad feeling or holding of grudges etc.

"Outbursts" as you describe them from one person always directed at the other aren't normal or acceptable, regardless of whether the person apologises for the behaviour or not. If they were really sorry, they'd stop doing it surely? So stop tolerating it

I suppose it unnerves everyone really. To some extent. I don't think anyone is totally OK with being snapped at.
Depends if fear comes into it, what your boundaries are like, past trauma / triggering, are you particularly sensitive, does it happen often etc. The apology is a good sign in my opinion but they kind of wear thin when it's a regular occurrence 🤷🏻‍♀️ xX ps, hope you're ok OP 🙂

It depends if it's a regular occurrence. If the 'snapper' doesn't normally and it is down to the stress and strain of lockdown then it probably comes as quite a shock if they do.

Only you can know but if you are scared please don't forget that this is one of the acceptable reasons to leave the house.

Shouting is horrible and if it’s happening regularly it is conditioning you to be frightened & non confrontational. The goal is to slowly break you down, whether it’s conscious or not. That is why you feel teary & shakey because you are sustaining emotional damage every time it happens. Occasional shouting over big important things can & does happen & it’s not necessarily unhealthy although not ideal. But that’s not what you are describing.

You say shouting at you ‘for’ something, you mean something they think you’ve done wrong? Does it happen regularly? What would happen if you told him to stop shouting at you?

I agree with pp’s, you’re being conditioned to be compliant. Did your parents shout at you?

Are you ok @Thatone5?

My ex husband was like this. A prolific apologiser, instead of just having the self-control not to do it in the first place