Grandparents helping out during coronavirus

[Kstewart18]

Hi all,

I had a baby by c section a few weeks ago and have done significant tissue damage to my ankle so a boot for 6 weeks. My husband is working from home but recovering and trying to look after a newborn and a 2 year old is really hard.

Is there anyway my partners dad could help with childcare. He is only 45 with no health problems. Maybe he could move in?

Please any advice here is needed

That's fine.

Would he want to do that?

Is your husband unwell?

With the baby that little you can stay in bed /sofa with changing gear to hand and not really need to do much? Your husband can get you drinks/lunch while he makes his own... what would your inlaw be doing that your husband cant?

Oh ffs ignore me, I completely missed the 2 year old in the mix. That changes everything!!
If hes willing I'd move him in lol

Could your husband switch his working day around so instead of doing 7-8hrs (or whatever length his usual working day is) he does several blocks split over the day?

Example:

7am-11am, work
11am-2pm, available to help you with DC
2pm-5pm, work
5pm-7pm, helps with dinner and putting 2yo to bed
7pm+, work until hes filled his required hours

Its not practical. He works with clients so has to be working certain hours. Isnt really flexible and even if he could, it would put so much pressure on him. FIL wants to help but also wants to be safe and obviously so do i. Just trying to find a good mid ground for everyone

What would you have done, had the Covid 19 situation not be present?

He may not have health issues, but how do you know that FiL isn't asymptomatic?

I think your partner should be the one to take time off work and help to look after his own children. He could take dependants leave ( is it called that?)
If you had remained unwell after a LSCS he would have needed to take time off work. I don't think anyone should really be moving in and out of houses at the moment unless it's life or death ( and it's not, you are a two parent family)

If covid 19 situation wasnt here. FIL would have been coming round on daily to help out.
He has been isolated for weeks so chances of him having it are minimal and same as us.
Dependancy leave is all good in theory but i dont work, im a stay at home mum and uni student so husbands wage is only wage. Still need to keep a roof over our head and food on the table

Comparable to children moving between their parents' houses for me. It's a family arrangement for you to share childcare. If you're all observing other guidelines just do it.

It's absolutely fine OP. Just have him move in with you and isolate together if that works for you all.

I don't see why there would be any problem with him moving in.

I’ve totally lost track of the official ‘rules’, but if he’s willing to help then let him. My god you sound like you need it. Moving in would probably be the best option.

Just do it

Thankyou everyone for your thoughts. Just wanted to make sure that we are being safe and therefore obviously minimising moving backwards and forwards but yes, definetly need help at this point.

Did your DH not get any paternity leave?

Can he book some annual leave now?

Definitely. You’ve got to put immediate needs first as well and if the person is making one trip to come and stay with you, the risk is limited. You’re allowed to travel to care for a vulnerable person - which arguably as a new mum you are. Hope you’re recovery goes well and congratulations!

Just do it op

Just do it. I'd argue you're vulnerable and he's coming around to give you practical assistance - which has you covered by the guidelines.

Yes this sounds totally reasonable

Sounds like it would come under care of a vulnerable person.

*your recovery. Stupid autocorrect!

Yes, agree with everyone else, just do it, op

Do it OP.