Toddlers

[Jenna19745]

So my co-worker lives with her boyfriend and they have a 3 year old together. She has recently came to me and told me that she has noticed that her boyfriend is putting the 3 year old in the crib for about 3-5 hours at a time while she is working. He puts the 3 year old in there and then goes and sleeps during the 3-5 hours. She is not sure what to do to make him quit. He has also fell asleep while he was suppose to be watching him . The 3 year old is roaming the house alone while he is sleeping . She is is not sure what to do because he is the father of the son.

Not sure what to do????

That’s neglect!

I would either dump him or YOU call social services immediately

Wow. Anywhere else they can go to live? If be ordering a toddler bed and taking the cot down.

*I'd be not if

Dear Jenna,

You have shared a very serious situation indeed. It is good that your coworker has asked for your advice. May I ask where your coworker is working at home? If she is using her laptop in the sitting room for example, she can try and give some creative activities for her 3-year old son to engage in while she is working. I also wonder if her partner is experiencing depression, as you mention that he sleeps for a few hours during the day, or it might be boredom? Obviously the current lockdown is not helping things in this respect.

This could be considered by some as child neglect; children need psychological stimulation as well as basic needs met such as being kept clean, being fed etc. If her partner is finding it difficult (for whatever reason) to engage their son for a few hours, then perhaps the time of child care can be shared between them somehow. Your coworker needs to discuss this issue with her partner as soon as possible to avoid harmful effects on their son.

Even if her partner is engaged with another activity, he could perhaps involve their son in it. Most 3 year olds like to help parents with certain activities e.g cleaning the floor, doing the laundry. Children can be engaged fairly quickly in these tasks by turning them into a fun game e.g. what colour is coming out next from the washing machine etc.

I am also assuming that their son is still napping during the day? If so then her partner can sleep during the nap time to rest but he needs to engage their son in some way during the day. I am sure other people will have ideas as well for your coworker.

I hope that they can both work together to make their home environment healthier for their little one

Not sure I would scream neglect yet, we dont have enough information.

Why is he so tired all the time? Does he put the child in the crib because he knows he's exhausted and won't be able to watch them? Why don't they have a bed yet?