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Original poster

Which house to live in?

22 replies

Cheesecakejar · 16/04/2020 16:31

Ok I am feeling totally stumped so have come to ask you wise mumsnetters, I will try to add as much info without revealing to much. But we are a family of 2 adults, 10 month old and 7 year old step child and have to make a decision about where to live...

HOUSE A: Where we currently live, near work, 10 month old at nursery, no security in private rental, house needs updated but perfectly fine to live in at present, nice neighbours, we have family nearby although don't see them that often/they don't provide childcare. Kids have own bedrooms.

HOUSE B: Would provide complete security, could live there forever if we wanted, 12 miles from current location, smaller house, 1 adult would have to commute to work (10 miles) one would work from home after move, more to do for child in this location (and adults!), we often spend days off travelling here to do shopping etc, modernised house nothing will need done in it for years. Kids would share a bedroom (same sex).

Both have similar crime figures etc. I hope I don't end up drip feeding but that's the best info I can think of at present.

Help!!!

OP posts:

Dogsaresomucheasier · 16/04/2020 16:34

What are the chances of a three bedroom house in area B? A 6-7 year gap room sharing does not sound easy/comfortable but I do sympathise with you wanting out of the insecurity of a private rental.

Windyatthebeach · 16/04/2020 16:38

Ds's 11 +5 share very happily...

Original poster

Cheesecakejar · 16/04/2020 16:38

No chance of a 3 bed unfortunately, it's the 2 bed or nothing. I forgot to say step child only stays 2 nights a week so not a permanent bedroom share as such....

OP posts:

MuchTooTired · 16/04/2020 16:39

House B for sure. A secure home long term would be brilliant.

Original poster

Cheesecakejar · 16/04/2020 16:40

Also not much difference in finances between houses. May save £20/30 a month in B but we are fortunate that it isn't necessary to save money in the possible move.

OP posts:

LIZS · 16/04/2020 16:40

B Might work short-term but your 11 yo stepchild will not want to share with a 4 yo. Do you own these properties or could you compromise on less modern in location B. Where does sc attend school, have friends, live the other days etc?

Original poster

Cheesecakejar · 16/04/2020 16:45

Thanks all so far, I really appreciate everyone who has taken the time to reply. Move would mean we are actually a lot closer to step child. Would halve the journey for collection/drop off.

OP posts:

Original poster

Cheesecakejar · 16/04/2020 16:47

Sorry, don't/won't own property B either.

OP posts:

Windyatthebeach · 16/04/2020 16:47

Imo an 11 year old will do as they are told!!

hyacinthbouquetsbucket · 16/04/2020 16:49

House b without any doubt

Original poster

Cheesecakejar · 16/04/2020 16:50

True Windy! Also has own bedroom at other parents so not like they don't have their own personal space anywhere.

OP posts:

Frenchfancy · 16/04/2020 16:54

Looking forward what are the primary schools like for house b?

Original poster

Cheesecakejar · 16/04/2020 17:00

Not as good as A but not much in it, bigger class sizes mainly...

OP posts:

WarmFunKindStrong · 16/04/2020 17:21

House B security of tenure would mean a lot to me.

vanillandhoney · 16/04/2020 17:28

B - house security is really important.

Original poster

Cheesecakejar · 16/04/2020 17:29

That's the major pull for us, the secure tenancy. Its the leaving nice neighbours, bigger house and baby settled at nursery that's probably trying to pull us back again? I'm so sat on the fence my arse is aching 🤣

OP posts:

BackforGood · 16/04/2020 17:53

But if the parent is travelling back for work, then surely the baby can continue at the same Nursery if you wanted to ?

The security would be a big draw for me.

Does the house have more than one living room ? So could have a bed settee possibly in future if the two dc didn't want to share on the 2 nights she is with you ?

Original poster

Cheesecakejar · 16/04/2020 18:01

Childs nursery sessions/parents working pattern don't fall in line usually so parent that will be working from home would be doing the pick ups and drop offs. We don't have and don't want to run 2 vehicles so nursery would have to change. Only one living area, as step child gets older and goes to bed later they could stay on the sofa/pull out but I also imagine by then they may not stay every weekend and prefer to just come for tea and catch up a few nights a week and stay with other parent mainly where all their friends etc are? Flip side is they may want decide they want to live with us (I can't see any reason why though, it's just a thought) and that obviously wouldn't be ideal in the smaller house!

OP posts:

NewName54321 · 16/04/2020 18:59

Are you planning to have more children? Three sharing may be a different issue.

AdoptedBumpkin · 16/04/2020 19:06

B sounds like the better long term prospect. 10 miles is not a long commute.

Original poster

Cheesecakejar · 16/04/2020 20:18

No, no more children we're definitely decided on that. Thanks for all your insights! Still weighing everything up...

OP posts:

wiltingflower · 17/04/2020 09:21

House B sounds like an ideal set up for the parents and rental security is amazing but I actually wonder if the 7 year old would feel displaced/resentful in house B because they have to share a room with someone much younger than them. Even if they're only staying over for a couple of nights (for the weekend?) this is their permanent home with their other parent. I'd feel uneasy with the idea that 2/7 days is considered not a permanent bedroom share, it will be permanent at least until the child reaches the age when they are able to make their own decision over continuing staying over for 2 nights a week.

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