Have you planned or discussed your funeral with family?

[FabbyChix]

My sister who I live with knows someone who passes in the virus and said it’s a shame only six can attend. I said when I go I want a closed cremation where I’m cremated with no service and I don’t want a plaque or flowers. She said that’s unfair. Why? I’m dead funerals are for the living who cry for their own loss.

I really wouldn’t mind a paupers service so that no one knew when or where.

Do you have any thoughts on how you wish to be paid to rest?

I haven't shared many details with family as I m struggling to figure out how they could have a non religious service for me without it just being a straight cremation and at 25 I think they would shut me down if tried having the conversation now unfortunately, my dad died at 36 so I will get it all sorted before then and get our will done once baby is born.

@1990shopefulftm Have a look at Humanist services. There’s no religion at all, the service is just about the person

My mother and father discussed this with me some time ago. Their funerals are fully paid for and they have written instructions on pretty much everything and that I will carry out their wishes. It's not an easy conversation but I am glad we had it, I know what they desire.

I told my sister in passing that I want to be cremated whilst 'Ghost Love Score' by Nightwish is playing as that is my favourite song of all time

@lyralalala I would say I m a humanist so I ll look into the logistics of them in more detail, thank you.

I am having a direct cremation. It is paid for...details are in my will and my family know.
They can organise a memorial service if they want. And pay for it!

I see what you mean OP but my weird family has arranged a couple of these private type things and honestly they were awful. Just so so dismal. Whereas some I’ve been at have been quite uplifting with lots of people and some upbeat stories. More celebration of life, I suppose?

I am unsure as to whether to leave instructions as in some ways i think it’s for the living to decide? What do others think?

Slightly off topic but is it anyone who dies during this time who can only have six people attend the funeral or just those who have died from Covid 19,?I have just found out an old friends( lost touch) dad died last week I don't think it was covid related .

I’m planning on donating my body if I can and if not then direct cremation. Plenty of other ways to get together to remember me without spending £4000 + on a cut and paste service that means nothing to me.

@x2boys at the moment this applies to any funeral due to social distancing rules against big gatherings.

My DH knows I want to be cremated, not buried, and he knows the hymns I'd want. We had this conversation ages ago - nothing to do with Coronavirus.

My family can do whatever they like when the time comes.
Having said that, I do like a nice hymn or two at funerals - not because I’m at all religious, but because some are lovely, not to mention (to me) very emotional, and I like singing them.

The only instruction my father ever left was that he’d come back and haunt anyone who wasted money on flowers for his funeral! So my mother put a small posy on the coffin anyway - because she wanted him to! One hymn we chose for him was significant - Eternal Father Strong to Save (For those in peril on the sea) because he’d been very lucky to survive 2 years of the Ww2 Battle of the Atlantic with the Royal Navy. It was always a favourite of his.

@1990shopefulftm All of the Humanist funerals (and weddings - they are completely legally binding weddings in Scotland) have been lovely services

@Mascotte I’ve left enough detail that they’re left with no doubts, but nothing to descriptive so they can decide for themselves. More just answers to the questions I had when my nana died that I don’t want to leave my kids with

I've also donated my body to the local medical school. If it can't be then a woodland burial just because I want it to have the least impact on the environment.

One of my grandmothers spent the last couple of weeks planning her funeral, right down to the choice of buffet sandwiches.

My other grandmother had bought her own funeral years before so my parents did the same because they found the process easy.

I know what my dad wants after the cremation.

@lyralala that makes sense. I’ve never had to organise one because of said weird family! But I do know I’d like mine to be less dismal. And not expensive. I’m a bit of a hippie at heart

@mascotte That makes sense.

For mine I’ve said I’ve no strong feelings between cremation and burial. I’ve left a list of 15-20 songs they can pick between if they wish. I’ve given a few places that are special if they want to scatter ashes. Things like that that are more ideas than set plans.
The only 3 things I’ve said are important to me are that they grieve how they want or need to grieve, that they don’t spend money over what I’ve put in place and that there’s no religion as I don’t believe in it at all.

For any of us who die during this pandemic, we will have no ‘say’ in how our funeral will happen. It will be carried out quickly and according to the most recent guidance.
If I don’t die during the pandemic, I’m still having a no frills approach with minimal fuss. Direct cremation in a wicker coffin. With only DH and DC present.

If I don’t die during the pandemic, I’m still having a no frills approach with minimal fuss. Direct cremation in a wicker coffin. With only DH and DC present

Direct cremation means just that. No choice of coffin or a service with people present. You'll go straight to some random crem and burnt when they get a minute. It could be anywhere in the country and your family might not even get the time of it happening.

I've said in my will I have no wishes, a funeral is about those left behind, I don't want to dictate to anyone what I want, although I appreciate some people prefer to be told. I've stipulated cremation and that's it, I genuinely have no other wishes they can do what feels right.

This is nothing to do with the virus though.

Yes I have my funeral wishes documented and have also told the people who would be arranging it what I want. I firmly believe they will follow my wishes.
Agree with a pp, trying to arrange a funeral is hard enough especially in the throes of grief. Some guidance of the deceased’s wishes is helpful.