Please spoon feed me a lockdown routine!

[GalaxyEggs]

I started with the best intentions, planning to provide an engaging and educational lockdown for 2 year old DD. Ideas I had as well as crafts etc (which hold her attention for 30 seconds) were dog training which she can watch and be involved in (as we've gone from two long walks a drive away to a little one from our front door and he's all over us all the time and driving me utterly crackers), sorting out cupboards and sock drawer etc and she could help.

Instead morning sickness struck hard and I feel like I have a constant horrendous hangover and frankly want to do utterly nothing. I'm extremely fortunate to not be working, so I can focus on her, but I'm struggling to stick to a decent routine that doesn't start well and descend into tv and watching her get up to things she shouldn't while I ineffectually ask her not to. We used to be out all day everyday so it's a change but she's being a star and entertaining herself plenty, I just feel like she's not really learning anything new anymore. Realistically I know she must be.

So because I am lazy and helpless, please can someone tell me what to do tomorrow with her so I can be a half decent mum, wife and dog owner again and actually educate the child and dog (maybe husband) and keep the house looking halfway respectable? (Before collapsing in a heap at naptime if there is one)

I don’t think you need a routine at all OP! You have a toddler and morning sickness! You just go with the flow. Let her watch tv when you need a break. Don’t worry about educational stuff. She’s learning constantly! Rest as much as you can, go easy on yourself. Let her decide what she wants to do and just be there to play with or supervise her. Rotate her toys every evening so she isn’t getting bored. That’s about it.

OMG if your 2 year old can entertain herself happily give yourself a parenting award and a huge break! My 7 year old still wants my attention CONSTANTLY unless on a screen.

If you can drop the guilt over what you think you should be doing, how does this look from a practical perspective? What are the basic requirements and limitations?

eg is your little one generally better behaved if she's had some exercise? What does hold your DD's attention? Do you have times without morning sickness or are you feeling grotty all the time?

Do you have a garden or any outside space?

I agree with the above. Give yourself permission to stop worrying. Toddlers learn all the time from just everyday activities.

Saying that, getting my active toddler out for a walk first thing really seems to help with the energy levels. Is that something you can manage with your morning sickness?

This is our general routine at the moment (almost 3 yr old and almost 1 year old):

6am-8.30 wake up, breakfast, get dressed, free play (DH does this while I work)
9am out for walk around the block
9.30 baby naps so toddler and I do something 'engaging' (baking, washing up, craft, colouring, tidying etc)
10.30 garden play (sand/water tray, climbing frame)
11.30 lunch then toddler has TV time/iPad whilst baby plays and I tidy/clean
1.30 baby naps toddler and I play in garden, jigsaws, Lego etc
3pm this is where I start to run out of energy so most days it's whatever the kids are happy to do. More tv time, colouring, garden etc

DH tries to finish by 4 so I can switch off a bit.
It looks like a lot but a couple of 'focused sessions with toddler means she is happier to entertain herself the rest of the time.

Are you on your own with the kids? It is really hard when you are lacking energy. Don't stress too much!

Thank you!

I suppose on reflection what I mean is I feel like I'm not setting DD much of an example. I feel like I want her to see me being constructive and using time properly instead of vaguely drifting about and half heartedly doing things. The dog is an utter nightmare, I know it's my fault and he needs training and stimulation, but I find myself losing patience at the moment and just sending him to his bed after a while.

The house is ok on the surface but needs a proper clean and sort. I could be involving DD in all these things but instead I'm sort of drifting around. Does that make sense? I'm not the kind of person I want to be and I can't find the energy to bother. I think it's mostly the nausea though

Better in morning so we'll do our walk then, although it then feels like the afternoon needs to be filled with other stuff

We're very lucky to have a garden and she plays happily with certain toys for a while and will involve me in made up games of her own too, she's been brilliant really. We look for bugs and stuff

She does ask for tv too and sometimes I can distract her for a bit but we do have plenty of tv time at the moment!

On my own days

Your DD will remember very little of this time. Plus, her yardstick on what constitutes productive activity is non existent. She's 2.

Please don't worry about setting her an example, you're setting yourself unrealistic targets. You're pregnant and have morning sickness, be kind to yourself! That's a good example to set.

Sorry you lost me at 2 year old and “educate”!

I feel like I want her to see me being constructive and using time properly instead of vaguely drifting about and half heartedly doing things.

Do you know how long you have her in your home for her to see that? At least 18 years. You have 18 full years to se her an example of being constructive. This is a temporary blip. With a very valid reason. And she’s two. She doesn’t recognise anything you’re doing as constructive or not constructive. Honestly, the things she notices is not how active mummy is, how tidy the house is or how many learning games she did that day- she notices how she feels and how mummy responds to that. She doesn’t want mummy frazzled and stressed trying to create the prefect learning environment. She wants mummy well rested so that when she is upset- mummy has the energy to respond and comfort her, or to play a little make believe with her, or to cuddle with her on the sofa.

OP you are putting an immense amount of pressure on yourself and holding yourself to an unrealistic standard. I can tell you now with certainty (I have a 15yo and a 10yo) that at 2 years old they don’t need to see mummy being anything other than right there with them.

Please take all this pressure of yourself and just enjoy your little girl.

Ooh, if you like bugs here's an app for you.

www.inaturalist.org/pages/seek_app

It identifies plants, bugs and animals. You just take a picture and it tells you what it is.

Random tangent as it's probably a bit young for a 2 year old! But I really like it. And maybe useful for telling her what stuff is called.

I’ve got an almost 2 year old. I’m also pregnant and feeling the sickness.
I usually sit around til about half 9 with the tv on feeling yuk, and to try and summon some energy.
We then usually grow cress/ do some sorting/ play shops/ play dough/ make simple food things (Easter nests) or go into the garden. Garden is the best option because dd is happy to play with a small amount of input. Today she ‘helped’ me with potting some seedlings. Lunch then nap and up for a short play and some dinner. I will admit, I would struggle without her nap time!

You're worrying too much. I was useless with DD when I was pregnant with DS and for a little while after. It's done her no harm at all, she's a bright sociable child who was doing well in school before lockdown just set times that are fixed - breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime, nap/quiet time. Then add in walk time, story time, half hearted attempt at housework time, and there you have a routine.