I feel defeated

[aurorae0222]

I just had a meltdown. I feel so raw with my emotions lately. I’m overwhelmed to say the least and I can’t get over it. I was in the shower and it hit me like a tonne of bricks.

My baby girl is almost 1 and it makes me so sad; so sad I can’t even throw a party for her because of COVID-19 not that she would care or understand. I imagined she would have this party with all my family and it won’t happen.

My older (36) sister hasn’t hasn’t talked to me in months (since September); we no longer have a relationship. I worry to death about my dad given he has a heart issues and is at risk of this virus; I haven’t seen him in over a month makes me sad.

I am 24; had a baby in the last year of university, haven’t completed my degree and I have no job. Perhaps my sister is right I haven’t accomplished anything but made a huge mess of my life.

To top it off I’m “late”; this makes me so nervous just thinking about it and the thought of raising two kids under 2 scares me.

I feel so defeated and lost these days.

Can you find a counsellor or not? I think you need to seek out professional help pronto.

Sounds like you've got a lot going on is there anybody you can call to get some advise try not to worry to much you can make up for it once it's all over and as for worrying about 2 kids take a test saves your dwelling on it put your mind at rest but
Please do keep us informed xx

Oh love, I think feeling overwhelmed is not a surprise.
You have a young baby
You are in lockdown in the middle of a world wide crisis
You are worrying about family
You are worrying about being late.

These are not normal times and it is not surprising that you feel overwhelmed. I think a lot of us are struggling in one way or the other.
Is there anyone you can talk to? A good friend who will just let you pour out how you are feeling? Just sharing and putting some of it into words can help.
How is your partner? Supportive? Would he understand?

Then practically, you need a pregnancy test, and a few hours break from your baby, to think/sleep/watch TV or talk to a friends, whatever helps.

Finally got a pregnancy test...positive! I am pregnant.
Don’t know how it will work out. I cried for a bit out of fear and dread but like my bestie said, look how much joy my baby brings me and she is right. Love my baby so much how and she has brought so much joy to us how can it not work out?
Thanks for the support. Next step go to the GP and find out how far along I am.

Congratulations!

15 months between my two. Bloody hard work when they were both babies but brilliant as soon as they got a bit older.

Even though one was girl and one boy they were so close in age so liked the same age range of toys and activities

Lots of things I think may have been better if I I done them differently but never (after the first year) regretted having 2 close together

Thanks! I don't think I will regret it and it does make me happy. It's going to be overwhelmingly hard. My baby girl is still a week away from being 1 but it is meant to be.

Taking care of 1 is hard, but 2. My doubts will probably go way when I hold him/her after birth. Meeting the new baby, no that I cannot wait.

Hey OP...just wanted to say just because your life hasnt panned out the way you thought it would doesnt mean it cant be amazing. So what you didnt finish your course? You can pick that up again in time if you wish. Life does have a funny way of working out even when times seem so hard.Bet you have learned far more being a mum than any degree could have taught you! I am nearly 50 and in my life as I look back mine has been a cock up from start to finish! Not that its done yet but I have never planned anything,everything has happened just cos it has. I never had a career structure or knew what I wanted to do I fell into jobs,relationships ,everything by chance.Not saying it hasnt been eventful it has at times but looking back now with hindsight it has been a lot of fun!! If somewhat crazy and chaotic! Things hapen cos they are meant to be.You may find yourself on a different path to which you set out on but thats okay you live and learn.Dont be so hard on yourself,If things dont work simply try another way you will be fine as will your kids.Some of the most spectacular cock ups imaginable have been made by me but I can look back and say yeah ballsed it up there me but its all fine,cos life goes on and we learn.proccess and grow. Never having structure has been quite benificial to me looking back now. My life now couldnt be better.I am so self reliant and over all very happy and satisfied with where i am Chin up lady you can do this...you can be and have a successful life purely by just being you and believing in yourself.I am never going to have millions in the bank,never going to be the prettiest or smartest person but equally I will never apologise for being me and knowing I am an ok person and really at the end of the day for me atleast its enough...Sounds to me like you have a lot to look forward to and I reckon you will do just fine. Bugger everyone else live YOUR life and you will be happy.Its worked for me!! Good luck to you reckon you will be fine!