So I'm in a group of 6 friends. Live locally, have been friends for years. All in 30s.
Friends A and B are part of the group and had a disagreement about 6 months ago. They have smoothed things over and are friendly on the group chat but have not seen each other in person since or communicated outside of the group chat. So their once close friendship is essentially over. I suspect they would both be willing to be friends again if sent an olive branch but neither have done so.
We usually buy each group member a birthday present that we have all chipped in for. Friend A has a birthday coming up and is isolating alone and feeling sad about it. Without thinking I messaged the others about the birthday present and friend b has declined to contribute. Fair enough but Friend A is going to be upset about this nail in the coffin of their friendship, especially while feeling sad and alone on her birthday.
So my question is do we tell her in advance that friend b isn't involved in the present? Or just send the present from the rest of us and let her find out on her birthday that friend b's name doesn't appear.