Writing a will and all that jazz

[absolutezero0k]

I'm sure this will have been covered before but I've searched and can't get any relevant threads up.

DH and I are well overdue on writing our wills so getting the ball rolling on that is this week's task. We'll be drawing them up with a solicitor as our circumstances aren't quite straightforward (dependent kids, non-dependent adult kids, complicated house ownership).

My questions are, what do we need to think about before we speak the solicitors? And what else do we need to think about in addition to the legal stuff. I'd really like a tick list or workbook to work through, so if anyone can recommend any websites for death planning that would be really helpful.

If only one dies does it all go to spouse or is any going to the kids

Then if both of you die:

Who you want the dependent kids to live with

What age you want the dependent kids to inherit their chare & who you want to be trustees in the meantime & how much flexibility do the trustees have.

What you want to happen to the house - if shared between siblings what happens to those still living in it?

Any bequests to anyone else

Who you want to be executors in the event you can't do each others

Thanks Teen.

If only one dies the plan would be for everything to go to the survivor.

The rest needs some thinking about, our options for guardianship are somewhat limited.

Not a lawyer.

I personal wouldn't have kids automatically inheriting at 18 by the way. They will/may have been traumatised by losing you both, and a lot of money at that age could be very destabilising. (depending how much there is of course.)

Thanks Teen, that's a good thought. To be honest we only have one set of friends I'd consider entrusting then too and I expect any money they make from selling the house would be mostly be taken up with the cost of raising them so unlikely to be a problem in the near future. But I hadn't thought about something happening at the point that the kids are almost adults so that is worth considering.

We have our kids inheriting at 25 years old. Guardian is different to the fund manager - who is generous and sensible. We have appendices to our wills which while not binding legally reflect our views on how things should be carried out.

If only one dies the plan would be for everything to go to the survivor.

.........and would each of you be happy then, should the survivor meet a new love, that your joint dc might end up with nothing ?

I do agree about any dc not inheriting at 18. I have an 18 yr old, (and a couple of older ones) - decisions they make at 18, and at 25 would be very different.

You do have to consider what would happen if you both went at the same time - not only who would care for dependent dc, but how that would work financially

Depending on circumstances, it is good to think about if you want to leave anything in your will(s) to 'good causes' - be that a charity or perhaps some kind of club / hobby / interest group you belong to. Again, it is worth considering an amount that grows with inflation (or a % of your estate) rather than saying "£100" or "£1000" or whatever, which, in 10 yrs time might not be worth as much as you intended.

In my opinion you should write a will that will not cause arguments and aggravation when you die. I’ve seen it before and it’s ugly and although you have the right to decide who to give what to, be aware of the impact. We updated our wills last week - the teens read them - nothing controversial and if there was we’d discuss it and resolve it before the will ihad to be used.

Whatever you do, do not leave a percentage to a charity! Let the recipient make a discretionary donation on your behalf.

My mother was executor and recipient of an estate, less 3% which went to a well known charity - they were an absolute nightmare in making sure they got their last penny. The estate was worth about £150k, so my mother offered to give them £5k and make sure any contents of value, but not suitable for auction, went to their charity shop, the charity refused. The charity kept treating her as if she was stealing from them. In the end they got just under £4.5k and my mother removed them from her will.

These good causes act like vultures, making a trying time much harder.

Do a power of attorney at the same time as your will.

The solicitor will give you a range of options for the initial draft.

Lay out what you want to do and the solicitor will facilitate it.
Consider your funeral, organ donation. If separately you can plan your funeral, select music or give info of what you don't want, this can be very helpful.
Lay out what sort of care home you might like or which to avoid.
Arrangements for pets and their up keep.

re Charity. My parents' solicitor let them put a clause in their wills saying to the effect: 'if any charity starts being awkward or takes legal action they lose their share and it gets divided between the other ones'. I've no idea whether that would stand up in court though!

i personal wouldn't have kids automatically inheriting at 18 by the way slightly disagree if you are passing their older siblings money and leaving the younger ones with little to no financial support.
I inherited at 20, it I hadn’t I would literally have had nothing.

The word 'automatically' means a lot to me though. It doesn't mean the trustees can't release funds for university/travel/car/general living. It just means I don't want someone being transferred £200k on their 18th birthday.

Wow, really want expecting so many responses! Just on my tea break so will pop back later to digest them all properly.
The thing that is immediately standing out to me is that whilst we've been thinking about what would happen if we died now, we haven't considered how that could change in 5/10/15 years time.

absolute You need to think what if you died within the next 5 years, and then ongoing until your children are fully adult (eg 25).

Don't try to think what if you die in 10 years. Do your will now. Review it in 5 years and update if needed. We have different guardians now than when we first did our wills as the needs of our DC have changed and the situation of the guardians has also changed.

I was floored by having to consider hypothetical grandchildren and what would I want if my child predeceased me.

We are in the process ourselves. Have any of you put down multiple executors and guardians? Just considering if any of them die before us & we don't get the chance to change our wills in time.

OP - we were also asked to consider who would inherit if our entire family died together. Ominous

You also need Power of Attorney agreements for both finances and health

We left ours equally to all 4, were asked what if one died, so we said to the spouse, then "what if they got divorced and the surviving spouse remarried and had more children, or married some with children, they would get it.
I felt uncomfortable with the alternatives. The spouses are family, I felt it would be a horrible message to them if they were excluded. Apparently most bypass the spouse of the deseased child and leave to the grandchildren

I think you have to accept that a Will written now will have to be rewritten when each child leaves home.

I would be very, very wary of just leaving everything to the other spouse. They could remarry and your children could lose such a lot.

We are in the process ourselves. Have any of you put down multiple executors and guardians? Just considering if any of them die before us & we don't get the chance to change our wills in time

Yes. My executors are my partner and oldest ( adult ) child, then failing that the younger children .

I have left everything equally to my children and to their children if they die first.

I’d not dream of leaving anything to their spouses / partners. How on Earth would you legally define a partner?

If you Leave money to spouses but not partners, then someone who has been together for 20 years with 3 kids together would get nothing but someone who was once married to one of your children for a few months several decades ago would inherit from you. Including anyone who cheated on or abused your child.

Pretty much the executors are my sister and her dh - they don't live in this country but they are pretty efficient and wouldn't be daunted by piles of paperwork and lawyers. We have appointed a local friend to be guardian but the kids are over 16 and would probably want to stay in the family home and this would be supported by the executors and the guardian.

I wouldn't leave to spouses of my children - I'd leave it to their children.

I think that each of us would make different choices for all the questions, what is important is to consider all the "What if" scenarios.

Yes, all very unlikely, but all situations that do happen. I mean, when we write our wills as parents of young children, we all kind of hope it will end up never being needed but in the statistically unlikely situation it does, then those left will be glad everything was sorted out - and importantly thought out beforehand. Sadly, we will all be able to thing of situations when all these situations have occurred - even if stories we heard in the news rather than personal friends or family.
By using a good solicitor or someone whose job it is to write wills, then they will be used to asking questions about scenarios we hadn't thought about.