I am a lone parent, my ex husband and I split during my pregnancy, he returned to his EU country and has has little involvement with our 4 year old daughter.
He visits a couple of times a year with his patents, stays in a hotel and dd has lunch and dinner with them (I accompany her or my sister's do because he is volatile, hence why he is my ex husband).
He was financially, emotionally and then in pregnancy physically abusive which is why I left him. He has never had regular contact only when he feels "Well enough" to , and has never paid maintenance and in fact made large debts I had to clear.
Since lock down I have contacted the grandparents who aren't interested in video chatting. He now is though, last week after 3 weeks of lock down he contacted me to request video chatting. We tried it yesterday , I know it is in my daughter's interests and she is happy to video chat to anyone (my family, her school friends, nursery friends, anyone..she loves it)
But dealing with him even via video is so difficult for me. Usually contact my family emotionally support me, if not facilitating contact then bring available, but they are not impressed I am struggling so much with this.
I've not ever prevented contact before but now feel he is bored in lockdown and will drop her once life gets back to normal. I want to limit the calls to a sustainable fixed pattern that is maintained post lock down, once a month would be achievable for him I think. Really struggle that he can do nothing for her but phone for a friendly chat, on the same status as her granny or aunties who do so much for her and would not hesitate to give her anything she needed..unlike her father who prioritised himself, always
Is anyone else struggling similarly? I wanted traffic so this is in chat but please don't rip me to bits...I have overcome significant trauma and mh problems and am doing well now, in a professional career and providing everything - physical, financial, emotional, schooling for my dd and finding it so hard.