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Original poster

My mum is roaming around and turning up in various family members' back gardens. I am so cross

68 replies

Aaaahhhndrea · 13/04/2020 19:53

She keeps doing this 'I just can't stay in the house' giggling schtick. I am really, really pissed off. The DC were upset by not being able to go to her and then she had the cheek to ask for a cup of tea- I said no.

Turns out she's being doing this to different relatives. WTF am I supposed to do with her?!

OP posts:
LunchBoxPolice · 13/04/2020 20:49

I thought this was about a cat at first Blush

springydaff · 13/04/2020 21:07

I suppose all mothers are idiotic morons going by this thread Hmm

What the actual actual fuck.

thinkfast · 13/04/2020 21:16

Shouting at your parents for going out is the new being shouted at by your parents for going out.

My mil is recovering after 10 days in hospital with covid. She is normally a fit and healthy 61 year old. Your parents do NOT want to catch this. You red to explain this to her.

JoyceDivision · 13/04/2020 21:21

Would it be feasible to temporarily move your dad to either yours or a sibling house which is the lowest risk? Isolate your mum by removing your dad, almost punishment in that dad goes to family and she doesn't?

PippaPegg · 13/04/2020 21:24

Yeah I have one of these. Like PP we have a difficult relationship anyway. I know from experience telling her to fucking stop won't change anything. Last week I even enlisted DH to take her aside and give her a manly talk since she doesn't listen to a word I say and I vainly hoped she might listen to a man (eyeroll but she is an utter sexist).

So no advice but sympathy OP.

Windyatthebeach · 13/04/2020 21:25

Threaten to report her..

cookingmywaythroughlockdown · 13/04/2020 21:27

Report her for what? She's allowed out of the house. She isn't trying to get In to yours. lockdown is really hard for some people. I think we should cut her some slack.

Bagadverts · 13/04/2020 21:34

If she is breaking the regulations then definitely tell her you will report if it happens again. Then follow through - maybe a chat with the police would help her see sense.

If she is not and the worry is about your fathers safety talk to him about what he would like. Would he prefer to stay with you/relative (and can you/they keep to the strictness you want your mother to follow)?

Windyatthebeach · 13/04/2020 21:36

She is attempting to mix households which isn't allowed...

Silentnight87 · 13/04/2020 23:27

She's putting your father at risk. He would be my main concern. Considering It doesn't seem she will change her behaviour, is there any possibility he could stay with you? It would be ultimate finger to her, and her frankly ridiculous and selfish behaviour (given dad is high risk). If she asks if she can say, simply say no, and that you can't trust she is self isolating for two weeks to then stay at yours

Weenurse · 13/04/2020 23:31

Ask about her funeral plans and whether she has a pre paid funeral that you need to know about.
Burial or cremation?

Elieza · 13/04/2020 23:59

Phone everyone she goes to and remind them not to let her within 2m of them as she has not been protecting herself and you suspect she may be a symptomless carrier (it’s more likely the other way around but it may put the frighteners on your relatives to think they could catch something from her) Perhaps that will make them ensure she keeps well back.

MamaJules34 · 14/04/2020 00:25

My mum & my grandma keep doing the same! Confused

MUMUNATORR · 14/04/2020 01:00

i think she was looking for easter eggs...

GemmeFatale · 14/04/2020 03:08

Have you tried focusing on the risk to your dad from her doing this?

Incontinencesucks · 14/04/2020 04:37

Bar her from your back yard. Be honest with your dc that gran us being very naughty and unfair to grandad by doing this and you won't encourage it. Ignore her and encourage them too so a) they don't get upset b) she gets a clue c) grandad may be more safe if she does.

My friend locked out a 'drop by' family member from their garden, and when they heard her calling coey over the fence they were loud in telling dc it was naughty aunty X again and getting them to shout 'stay home' back.

Personally I'd avoid the drama and just ask lock her out and ask her if she actually cares for your dad given she's trying to mix households and take it back to him. Who only knows who else she could be dropping in on too!

JudyCoolibar · 14/04/2020 04:53

What does she expect when she turns up in people's gardens? Does she want them to talk to her, or is she happy to be left alone? If she wants to interact with people, you need to liaise with them and agree that they'll ignore her - maybe also have large "Stay home, save lives" notices up.

LoveIsLovely · 14/04/2020 04:55

"is it really that bad if she comes and sees you if she is keeping a safe distance and not coming in the house?"

And if everyone has that attitude, what is the point of the lockdown?

penisbeakers · 14/04/2020 05:04

Report her.

If she won't listen to you, she might listen to the police. Harsh, but you don't have a lot of choice especially with your dad being so at risk.

ACNH · 14/04/2020 05:51

My grandparents wanted me to take the children into their garden so they could see them, Er no, just wait a few weeks and you’ll be able to see them normally, I don’t understand why people are so impatient, it’s a few weeks!

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 14/04/2020 06:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lyralalala · 14/04/2020 06:03

Your Dad should kick her out. She's being ridiculously irresponsible and very unfair on him by attempting to mix with everyone else.

If I was in the shielded group and DH pulled that stunt we'd be living in different places for the duration.

Dyrne · 14/04/2020 06:34

Can you and your siblings all agree to just blank her if she comes into their back gardens? So no acknowledgement, not even to tell her off; take your children into a room where they can’t see her. Don’t engage.

ScissorsBike · 14/04/2020 07:36

I really don't see the problem. She's taking her exercise and practicing social distancing. We can wave to each other/chat to each other from the garden! You lot are outrageous (and a little bit stupid).

lyralalala · 14/04/2020 07:38

@ScissorsBike did you miss the part about her wanting to have a cup of tea?