Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

Original poster

I'm a shit mum

19 replies

BizarreBizarre · 13/04/2020 14:41

Single parent 2yr old. Ex who does nothing decides hes ill so I've got to arrange extra childcare and dog care at expense to myself. My child just whines and cries all the time. I've take to ignoring him I cant bear the noise. Weve had to abandon a dog walk because he keeps throwing himself on the floor and crying. I cant cope

OP posts:

lucysmam · 13/04/2020 14:46

You're not a shit mum! Shit mum wouldn't care enough to post here.

Will your ds park in front of the tv for a while? If he will, park him there, make yourself a brew (or whatever you drink) and have a breather.

Everything's a bit weird at the mo & your ds is probably picking up on that even though he's only dinky.

Maybe try for a dog walk later on, after you've both had a break. But if it's a no go for today, then so be it.

Original poster

BizarreBizarre · 13/04/2020 14:47

Hes always in front of the tv. I swear one of my neighbours has phoned social services her face was a picture as I walked away as he lay on the floor

OP posts:

Smellbellina · 13/04/2020 14:51

They do this, my four year old was screaming blue murder in my bed this morning because I had the audacity to get up

I had to nit comb him the other week, he stood in the shower screaming ‘why are you hurting me mummy whhhhyyyyy nooooo you’re trying to kill me why do you want to kiiilllllll meeeee aaahhhhh’ etc. I was quite suprised I didn’t get a visit from anyone after that.

He is now on the XBox and I am drinking tea and eating an Easter egg in peace!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Behaviour & development Families

CaffeineInfusion · 13/04/2020 14:54

Agree with tea and tv. Recharge for half hour. Then strap your son in the pram, get the dog and go for a long walk. Clear your head.

And forget the ex. They tend to be useless.

That would be my plan of action anyway.

LovingLola · 13/04/2020 14:54

I swear one of my neighbours has phoned social services

Do you really think she might have? Would she be that concerned about your little boy?

Original poster

BizarreBizarre · 13/04/2020 15:00

No lola she wouldn't because I'm not abusive but the noise and carry on along with her face makes me think she has.

OP posts:

Thismumrunsonhugsandtea · 13/04/2020 15:01

It's hard being a single parent I'm in the same boat I have my son all the time at the moment ,don't be so hard on your self just think of it as a day at a time,tomorrow is a new day just do what ever you have to do get you though,honestly the amount of times a sat mine in front of the telly with a packet of crisps just so I get five minutes to my self 😂 Is there a family member or a friend that can come and get the dog for a bit we aren't meant to be seeing people but I think in this situation you could get them to collect the dog from the door,and then you just have one less thing to worry about.All just leave the walk for that day honestly your doing better then you think Xx

lucysmam · 13/04/2020 15:02

It doesn't matter if he's in front of the tv @BizarreBizarre. If he's quiet there, and you get some time to recharge, then plonk him there for a while!

Cherry321 · 13/04/2020 15:06

Can you stick him in a buggy so you can walk the dog and have a change of scene?

Original poster

BizarreBizarre · 13/04/2020 15:07

He wont go in the buggy and the dog is big so its easier him holding it hand on one side and her on the other. I actually cant wait to go to work most days

OP posts:

katmarie · 13/04/2020 15:12

I have a 2 year old. They are very hard work at times. Especially when they are unsettled or not getting enough exercise, or they're out of routine. The only thing I can say is it will pass, you won't be in this situation forever. Hang on for now, and just do what you need to to keep going.

I'll say this though, we have banned tv in our house this week. My 2 year olds behaviour was getting worse and worse and the tv was a massive flashpoint. Since it's been permanently turned off, things have got better. We still have moments of drama but the tantrums are less and last for less time.

Topsy44 · 13/04/2020 15:40

I have been a lone parent for the last 6 years and it is tough at the best of times but even more so now as there is no-one to give you at least a little break.

Be really kind to yourself and know that you're doing a brilliant job in a difficult situation. At the moment, just do whatever you need to do to get through the day. My DD is older but trust me we have had some challenging moments in the last few weeks and some days she has had a crazy amount of tv watching but it really has saved my sanity!

Could you just do a very short walk with the dog with the promise of tv and a treat when you get back. Then make yourself a cuppa, stick ds in front of the tv, early tea, early bath and early night for him which means at least you will get an evening to recharge.

CaffeineInfusion · 13/04/2020 15:46

"He wont go in the buggy"

^^ I'd knock that on the head right now. You're the parent. Be the boss.

I don't want to come across as rude, but I have been there. Useless ex, kids trying to rule the roost, not able to get out (due to lack of money not lock down. I have more than got the t shirt.

Strap the kid in, go for a long walk. Let him scream. Good. It will tire him out. Don't let him sleep till bed time, damp flannel to wake if he drops off too early. Have a relaxing evening and start again tomorrow.

Sounds harsh but it's your ship. You're the captain. And if you show weakness now, consider how much worse it will be in 15 years time. You're on your own with this. You are a lone parent. You do not have "we" situation. You are not your child's friend. Be the boss!!

Good luck. X

Original poster

BizarreBizarre · 13/04/2020 15:49

I try to put him in the buggy but getting kicked in my bad shoulder 15 times put an end to that funnily enough

OP posts:

Chochito · 13/04/2020 15:54

You're not a shit mum. You are a very normal parent, and person, as is your son, is these bizarre and quite frightening times.

Good luck, other posters here have given you some good advice and comfort.

Please don't think you're a shit mum.

Are there any YouTubers that your son likes? e.g. dancing, singing, or videos with animals? (My friend's little boy enjoys watching cocktail-making classes!)

DearTeddyRobinson · 13/04/2020 16:03

Hi OP, god it sounds tough. Hang in there. One trick I used with my 2 buggy refusers was to put them in then immediately tilt the buggy back to lie-flat. While they were upside down tortoise-ing I could get the straps on them. Then out the door! Sounds harsh but sometimes you just have to get out of the house (school run for older sibling or whatever) so whatever it takes! They were always absolutely fine as soon as we were out the door. Rice cakes for emergency snacks/distraction.

divafever99 · 13/04/2020 16:06

2 year olds are hard work. Some are harder than others. Even without lockdown it's not easy. Please don't be too are on yourself. Dd was really hard work at that age, needed constant interaction or would scream. Could never get anything done. I remember literally forcing her in the buggy at times because she would eventually stop crying on the fresh air. Sometimes I would bath her for no reason as that seemed to pacify her for a bit!

Original poster

BizarreBizarre · 13/04/2020 16:17

My shoulder is killing me

OP posts:

Thismumrunsonhugsandtea · 18/04/2020 17:13

🤗🤗🤗

Flip