Spoiling my children

[Howcanwehelp]

Normally I'm a sensible mum, a healthy mixed diet, regular exercise, limited screen time etc. I have ten year old twin boys who thrive on routine and structure. They have been so good the last few weeks, never asking to go out or moaning about school work etc. This weekend I've spoiled them, camping in the garden, loads of chocolate and today (on the first shopping trip for weeks) I loaded up on ice creams and nice things as I felt so bad they couldn't have them before. I know I'm over compensating because they can't go out (luckily we have a fair sized back garden).
Is everyone else doing this? Will they be spoiled? I'm normally the 'mean' one but surely it won't hurt in these strange times and they won't end up entitled.

Camping in the garden sounds amazing! & what you're doing sounds just right for the weird world we're living in atm.

I don't think they'll wind up entitled at all. They'll remember the fun stuff & the extra treats they were allowed.

We only have a 2 man tent or we'd camp in the garden too. As it is; mine have had pudding every night when we usually stick to weekends, I've bought some more snack/treat foods than I usually would. And agreed to Disney+ for the duration. We're doing more of the stuff that we normally rush through on a Sunday (usually my only day off) like baking, crafts, painting etc.

My mum always said 'if you can't spoil your kids who can you spoil?'

As long as you're not indulging their every whim and have removed all boundaries, it's fine to 'spoil' them.

Thanks, sometimes I doubt myself, they camped on their own, in their 2 man tent. We left the back door open and left them to it. They've had water fights and are now trading pokemon cards with each other. They normally bicker none stop but sem to have called a truce for the duration.

I don't think what you are doing is spoiling your dcs at all! Mine have basically done as they've pleased this week and like you I also put ice creams and even - gasp - a bottle of coke in the trolley (which we usually only have at Christmas!) because in ds14's words we should have been on holiday this week having loads of treats so it's only fair we should have some at home.
If they are happy and not bickering you're doing a great job!

Doesn't sound like you are spoiling them at all. As long as they appreciate the treats that's what matters.

Same here! Have been letting my daughter have Nutella on toast for breakfast and we’ve been watching a lot of Disney + too. I think more than anything else the important thing right now is to make sure they feel cosy and safe

Spoiling means you do this all the time so it isn't special any more and they no long appreciate it, they just expect it. Having wonderful holidays and special treats makes you a loving mother.

I've always understood 'spoiling' to mean that the children rule the roost, that mum (and dad) shut up when the children speak, listen to and act on their words, that the children head up the household and basically dictate what happens and when, what they get and when, and what they will do/eat and when.

Giving them things they like and doing nice things for them isn't going to spoil them, unless they are 'demanding' you buy ice creams and let them camp and won't shut up and stop yelling until you give in.

You sound like a lovely mum and your boys will look back on this time as a treasured part of their childhood.

I've definitely been spoiling mine too then. I told them they could pick any new toy they wanted from amazon, they get ice lollies most days, bath bombs in their baths etc.

They're only little and they have lost so many of their favourite things; parks, soft plays, school, zoo, their friends, farms etc. We live in a town centre so they are stuck on fairly dull walks. I will bring them joy wherever I can, and I don't feel guilty about that.

My own DC have just enjoyed a lunch of homemade pancakes, strawberries, mini eggs and Nutella and I'm usually quite strict with food and fruit / veg ratios.
I feel the same, they have been so well behaved and accepting of the situation that I want to spoil them a bit! This is a weird time for us all and you've got to do what's right for your family.

I agree with others that this won’t spoil them. And maybe a good experience for you in relaxing your boundaries when the time is right!

I work with kids and tried one of our ‘understanding Coronavirus’ resources out on my 4 year old. There was a part where they could point to emotion faces and say how they felt - worried, angry etc. She chose ‘happy’ and explained ‘because of Coronavirus I get treats every day - it’s so exciting!’ We are having ice cream most days. If she comes out of this remembering an exciting, indulgent time when normal rules didn’t apply, I’ll feel we did a good job of protecting her emotionally. Sounds like you’re doing great, we all are

I think it sounds like you're doing great. We are trying to do lots of baking, some experiments, lots of treats, gardening and a bit of school work most days.

I've also given them a small budget to spend on some things they might like (watercolours, manga pens, colouring books, reading books as it happens) and we've spent out on a few toys too. I don't think we are spoiling them... we had plans to do lots this Easter and neither of them have complained! I think they deserve it!