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I dont think my husband cares or has any respect for me. What would you do?

31 replies

ca010194 · 13/04/2020 09:54

Hi all,

I have been married for nearly 3 years now. I married young to a man older than me so I dont know if this is how I have fallen in to this cycle.

I work full time and make a good wage. My husband has been trying to start a business for the last 5 years. To this day the idea has changed about 20 thousand times and he hasnt made any money.

He had savings which he spent like crazy and also put some down as a deposit so we could buy a house. I am now the one who pays all the bills and he doesnt contribute anything.

I also do all the housework, walk the dog twice a day and do all the food shopping and cleaning even though he is home all day and I have no idea what he actually does with his time other than sleep and go on his laptop.

He seems incapable of loading the dishwasher let alone even putting anything in the bin.

The house we brought needed renovating, however we have been in it now for 6 months and nothing has changed. I am still waiting on my bathroom to be tiled, walls to be painted. Even just having one room completed would be nice. Something I think he has alot of time to do considering he isnt working.

Everytime I try to speak to him about it or ask him to do something he says I'm nagging him or being a bitch. He twists my words and makes me think my expectations are unreasonable but when I think about it I think being upset and hurt by his laziness and complete lack of respect in what I'm doing to keep our lives functioning is justified.

I honestly dont know what to do. He doesnt listen and just tells me this is the way he is and I shouldn't expect him to change.

I am only 25 and I cant think of spending the rest of my life like this, especially if we were to add kids to the mix. He has already made it clear that if we were to have kids I should be back at work within 3 months as we wouldnt be able to afford it on maternity pay alone.

Am I justified with my feelings or am I being a bitch?

OP posts:
billy1966 · 13/04/2020 12:54

You have married a waster who will never amount to anything and sounds abusive.

Thank Christ you don't have children.

Don't waste anymore time.

Get your paperwork in order.
Get onto a solicitor.
Get out.

Do NOT even chance getting pregnant.
If he feels you are disenchanted he may push this.

Get out.
Get support IRL.

Flowers
dreamingbohemian · 13/04/2020 13:09

Why are you still with him?? He sounds awful!

Divorce is no small thing but it really is your only option. He will not change, he is right about that, and you deserve so much better.

lastqueenofscotland · 13/04/2020 13:22

I’d leave.
Solicitors are still working in lockdown I’d get I. Touch with one now and get the ball rolling.

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Devlesko · 13/04/2020 13:29

He's a twat, you can do better, he thinks you are a skivvy who'll pay his way for him.
Do you get anything at all from this relationship?
What a loser, pity you didn't see this before you married. I'm surprised there weren't signs though, he hasn't become useless over night.
Ffs leave him and make sure you know the next one before saying I do.

ca010194 · 13/04/2020 19:16

Hi all

Thanks for your messages.

I know what I need to do but I guess just needed reassurance that I'm not over reacting.

Thankfully the house is in my name and he signed the money over to me as a gift when I purchased it as he refused to be on a mortgage so in that sense he is not entitled to anything.

OP posts:
TwistyHair · 13/04/2020 19:21

You are definitely not overreacting. He sounds a waste of space.

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