The joys of parenting young children during lockdown

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

We have DD1 5yo and DTs 2yo.

Fuck me.

In the last few days, we have had DD1 decide her two new favourite hobbies are cycling in a circle on the decking singing at the top of her voice or commenting loudly on our new neighbours ("are they having a barbeque again, Mummy? Why isn't the lady wearing all her clothes?" etc).

DT2 has decided that she is Princess Holly, which mostly seems to involve smacking her twin with a stick and bellowing "no more magic jelly!"

DT1 has invented an alter ego called Ammal (animal). Animal will not speak, only growl, and likes to walk everywhere very slowly and backwards. This is great fun on our daily walks. Animal also managed to get upstairs last week during Mummy's important meeting with 10 senior managers, remove his nappy, and chirp "hello, penis". Thankfully he was offscreen and I was muted.

Anyone else enjoying themselves?

My 5yo could start an argument in an empty room.
I get that it's tough for him but "I'm right, you're wrong,haha." "You'll see." "Well I'm starting to get cross with YOU, Mummy!" is doing my head in...

My toddler makes me pretend be a cat. I have to follow her round miaow ing most of the day otherwise she follows me round screaming 'mummy be cat' and I get instant headache.

My knees are sore and I'm dead behind the eyes

We have DD4 and DS1.
DS has learned to walk independently during the last three weeks.
DD has now decided she needs to help him learn to run.
Since last Thursday, DS has acquired a scar above one eyebrow, a full black eye, and an 'interesting' selection of facial scratches.

The silver lining is that I'm not taking him to playgroups so the judging is minimal.

4yo and 6yo girls. The situation is so crap. (And we're relatively lucky, with DH and a garden.)

Yep, I feel you OP. We're still WFH through the week too. It's Groundhog Day over here, just taking it an hour at a time, from 6.30am until 7.30pm. Solidarity 🤪

Quarantino - oh yes. DT2 has learnt "that's not funny, Mummy!" and, randomly "go home at once!' which I mostly get when trying to change her nappy. It's like living with a 2 foot tall mod of village Facebook page.

Superfoodie yep I am spending a considerable amount of time being a horsey (the new NDN are 20 something, childfree, and throw me pitying glances as I crawl around my badly mown garden in my Tu leggings).

DD1 has also decided that I must pretend to be a googolplex (very large number which DH taught her about, thanks, you smuggy homeschooling bastard). She will not go to bed unless I "be googolplex".

DS3 - mummy it's morning now (6am), let's do sticking

Me - I need to have some coffee and wake up first

Ds - come on mummy you need to go make coffee

Mummy have you drank your coffee

Come on mummy, drink it all up

One more big drink, come on mummy

All gone, time for sticking

Every. Fucking. Morning.
He doesn't even seem to enjoy the sticking that much anyway.

Yup.

6 year old DS will now ONLY wear jeans. Having never wore jeans until 3 days ago.

DD (3, and good at it ) is telling me to fuck off in French surreptitiously under her breath (although we do live abroad, to be fair)

It's Groundhog Day over here, just taking it an hour at a time, from 6.30am until 7.30pm. Solidarity 🤪

^

Same! I cheer when it's raining and darker earlier!

Woke up this morning to someone driving an ambulance over my face, shouting NEE NOR and demanding "quack-saants" (croissants). It was DH

@Superfoodie123

My toddler is doing the exact same!!!

I’m the mammy cat and she’s the baby cat.
I have to lick the floor for my pretend dinner and everything