Corona and grieving

[Notmyrealname855]

Hello

I just wanted to ask if anyone else is grieving because of corona? We recently lost a dear friend to it and just can’t believe it. We’ve had a lot of people in the local area get it, but this man was so sweet and kind, and a very fit and healthy early 70s (you’d think 50s). He was everyone’s friend, he was amazing - I can’t really believe I’m using the past tense, it feels so wrong.

I don’t know what to add really, other than I’m not sleeping thinking about his poor wife and kids. He was very close to his grandchildren, you can’t imagine someone so key to a community. It’s so weird and awful to think he’s just gone, and he went so quickly in an ambulance - everyone is shaken about it, no goodbyes or thank yous to him, no wishes of good luck. He was all alone

We’re looking to support his family in various ways, but his wife is still in hospital with it.

I just see so much on the news about bloody corona. To know he’s one of the numbers is just disgusting

I don’t really know what I’m typing for. It’s only a small place and I can’t believe this stupid virus has taken such a legendary kind man. We were all clapping, all being supportive in lock down and now it’s awful and it feels there’s nothing we can properly do to help his family. The kids and grandkids are in isolation as they were popping by with medication. This whole things a stupid mess and he didn’t deserve this, they didn’t deserve it

I don’t know if this should be in another section, my head’s not working tbh

I think it’s just fine here. I’m so sorry

My condolences @Notmyrealname855, I am so sorry for your loss . Losing a friend to this illness is particularly cruel as our usual ways of saying goodbye, & gaining support have been taken from us.

There may be suggestions in the link below about how you can support your friend's family, & yourself, take care

www.thegoodgrieftrust.org/need-know-info/coronavirus-bereavement-advice/

I'm so sorry. Hope his wife improves quickly.
I'm feeling very sad about a colleague who died in the early stages of this from something else. Although we didn't get to see him, we wouldn't have anyway, but we've not been together as a group to talk about him and grieve. We've all just been informed and that's it really. It seems very strange.

We were saying much the same, dd's friend's grandfather died from it two days ago and dd found out in Xbox game chat so hasn't really been able to properly support her friend in the way she would normally, it's very sad for her friend and parents.

A loss at anytime is horrible, but right now it's also confusing. Under normal circumstances friends and family would come together to share their loss, but that's not possible now. All the "protocols" (for want of a better word) of grief are swept away. There is no goodbye, no chapel of rest visits no "proper" send off (immediate family only), no funeral cars, nothing. It's like the person you love has, not only been reduced to a "statistic", but is being somehow punished for dying. I know that's not the case in reality, but reality is skewed at the moment.
Arranging the funeral has also become so impersonal...everything has to be done over the phone, with only brief visits from the undertakers to sign the necessary paperwork. Talking to the celebrant is also done via phone calls. Right now it all seems so detatched from the reality that processing what's happened is difficult.

Sorry for the ramble but once I started typing it was difficult to stop.

I’m so sorry . He sounds like such a lovely man. Could you find a nice spot in the house and light a candle for him? It might help.

You could also write to his family.

I know OP. It's a dreadful time to die. My lovely sweet Dad died on Wednesday, not of Coronavirus, but dying now has been horrendous. He went into hospital the Thursday before lockdown, DP was just becoming very ill with what we believe was CV and I was recovering so no visiting from us. We are 300 miles away which makes it worse. Saturday after lockdown the hospital rang and the very lovely doctor said my Dad was in the last three months of his life so l just knew then I wouldn't see him again.

After a week my Mum wasn't allowed to visit and didn't see him again. I still can't travel to see my Mum, DP still not back to normal so daren't risk it, even if I could travel.

My Mum couldn't say goodbye and my Dad died alone. The only comfort we have to hold on to is that he was really unaware of his surroundings. Only my Mum and DB are going to funeral. What is hard is the rules seem to be changing by the day. My Mum was asked to choose clothes for my Dad, leave them out at the front gate and someone would collect. Several hours after not being collected at the allotted time, my Mum called undertakers only to be told things had changed and no personal clothes/items allowed, gown only. The next day they then said things had changed again, no cars, no flowers. Hideous times.