Started the day with my 3yo saying ...

[TheSheepofWallSt]

In response to my saying “thank you”....

“My pleasure!... and mummy- you can pleasure yourself if you want to!”

He’s usually at nursery 4 days a week, and although his speech and language have always been very advanced (single parent, no other kids, it’s a side effect) I’ve noticed that no were at home together all the time, his “grown up” language/ use of set phrases is expanding at an incredible rate- with very funny results... not all as accidentally rude as this one!

What funny stuff have your kids said in lockdown?

😆

😂😂

Not during lockdown but I do remember my brother dropping a pack of something in Tesco once, he must have been about 6. As whatever it was (strawberries or something) spill across the aisle, we heard:

“JESUS FUCK SAKE”

The entire aisle went quiet. I nearly died

Hahaha

Nothing to add as my baby's only 6 months and just repeatedly shouts "IYA" but your post made me laugh!!

After hurting himself again..(dh is very accident prone), my then 4 year old ds sighed, shook his head, face palmed and said “daddy...you’re a dumbass”

We were torn between

Laughter won

My four year old at the start of reception very proudly corrected a classmate and informed the entire class that pigeons are in fact called “fucking pigeons”.

He very recently commented that he’d heard funny sounds from my bedroom, thankfully when he did an impression it was snoring!

My ds was quite late speaking compared to other kids , when he was around 2.5 he shouted at his brother in Harvester " you little shit"
We apologised to the lady on the next table for the language and ds turned round to her and says " sorry sweetheart" !!
We had no idea where he picked either phrase up as he was quite non verbal up until then.
However now he is 6 he never stops talking ( lockdown is such fun )

That’s just brilliant!
DD age 5 dropped some cutlery on the floor and muttered “oh for fucks sake” under her breath - wonder where she got that from

That's brilliant op! I was queuing outside Boots the other day , it was 2 in 2 out so there was quite a queue. No one was speaking, it was eerily quiet. Until my ds6 pipes up ' so m'lady you're looking quite fat today with your big boobs ' and then proceeded to pat my boobs with an insane grin on his face.

3 year old DS in the bath said to my husband: “Please can you pass me the fucking towel?

Husband: “what did you say?”

My 4 year old daughter then said (in the most deadpan voice): “he asked you to pass him the fucking towel”

Oops!

Oh these are hilarious and I love the double act

😭

Reminds me of the time a friend was getting ready for a rare night out in her new dress, she went downstairs and did a whole “ta da” to her family.
At which point her 6 year old daughter said “sorry Mum but you really can’t pull off that look”.

My DS ran round Sainsburys at about 2 years 9 months shouting 'fucks sake' over and over. He had heard it once the week before after my car failed to start in the hospital car park after being made to wait over an hour because they had double booked the entire consultants clinic and then the registrar which took the clinic was patronising and rude. I was about 8 months pregnant and DS hadnt started speaking until a few weeks before, he had been to speech therapy and everything! So I guess it was actually one of his first hundred words. Being heavily pregnant I couldn't even catch him. Which was why most of the time he was double strapped in the pushchair when we went shopping.

@pumpkinpie01 what is it with boys and boobies! My 4 YO tells me in the strangest of places I have squishy boobies and then presses on them!

Hilarious!

DTS11 informed me he is going to start voluntarily showering every single day as he has started pube. Which is of course short for puberty.

Clearly the child is not easily embarrassed but he did go red when I explained what a pube is!