What will you remember most from this time?

[Iwonder777]

Me, the surreal shut down and not getting to kiss my old mum goodbye.

You?

I will remember the loneliness I have felt. I've had a fantastic time with the 3dc and genuinely feel lucky to have my life, however the feeling on loneliness when they go to bed hits me bad.

4 years being single and I have never felt like this, it's odd. Maybe it will go once this is over or maybe I'll need to register for online dating, who knows!

That my workplace are selfish money grabbers, that I really really really enjoy my little boys company, that strict routine isnt as completely important as I thought it was, that nobody needs an extra 6kg of pasta everytime they panic shopped (not me)

Bad bits :- How scary it is working for the nhs - I'm not frontline yet but awaiting the call and can't help feel so jealous of others who are able to stay home all the time - how freaked out the panic buying and empty shelves made / make me feel and the saying 'you can't eat money' suddenly seemed very true

Good bits:-The clapping on Thursdays , having so much time as a family, husband around more, getting into gardening, being more resourceful with meals and food, lots of messages from friends and family checking how everyone is, reading in the sunshine

My husband and I are retired so things are less different for us then perhaps many, but I will remember

• lots of card and board games with the family
• the mutual quizzes set by us and my daughter's boyfriend which are delivered using FaceTime
• walks in places which we had never been before (usually get in the car and drive 2-3 miles to more obvious places)
• empty roads
• the friendliness of most strangers, crossing roads to avoid passing each other too closely and exchanging smiles and waves when out for walks
• the daily briefings
• the feeling, a bit like the one I had after Princess Diana died, that so many other people had gone completely mad in their over reaction
• being one of only two mourners at my mother in law's funeral
• the selfishness of those who emptied the supermarkets so quickly, those attempted to profiteer from shortages eg in hand sanitiser, and those who don't think the rules apply to them
• how somehow everyone has become an expert in epidemiology and the law
• the heroism of others, especially frontline NHS staff and carers, who are having to put themselves in real danger with inadequate protection
• the generosity of others who gave up their time to help others
• the harrowing interviews with NHS workers and relatives of those who have died, describing their experience and/or pleading with us to stay at home
• the 8 o clock clapping
• the virtue signalling
• sorrow that my children and others, especially the young, who are not able to live the lives they would have expected at their age
• personal frustration that I can't do many of the things I had started to enjoy in retirement,
• sympathy with those whose education has been disrupted, especially those who were due to sit GCSE or A levels this year and the uncertainty that that is leading to
• worrying about the long term impact on the economy
• wondering whether in retrospect we will look back at this year as a blip or the beginning of a whole new way of life
• being aware that in the overall scheme of things how very lucky my family and I are
• feeling frustrated that I cannot do more to help myself

How quickly the world had to shut down.
How innovative and creative people have been in ways of working and communicating
Recognising true keyworkers - nhs, social care, food shop staff, refuse collectors, farmers and more
The resilience of families with children and adults with disabilities
How some police forces have demonstrated draconian rather than leading support
And hearing birdsong in so much abundance

I'll remember how fantastic the team I work with have been - even the colleague who I didn't get on with had been massively understanding and helpful while I juggle work and my dc.

The frameworks and ideas that this has proved to be abject nonsense, like free-market capitalism, and the tyranny of positivity. Not listening to the "doom-mongers" sooner and letting ideologically motivated arbitrary budget restrictions hobble the NHS and prevent from preparing have made things worse in this country than they could've been. More people have died because we didn't act sooner and prepare better

I think I'll tell my grandchildren in 30 years about how it was such a mixed bag.

I've loved how slow life has become. Everyone home, settling into a natural routine, all meals together. I'm naturally introverted and feel relief at lack of guilt in not organising social activities for the DC. No sports practice, dance, early Saturday morning music lessons. No sitting in the car waiting around. A completely free calendar. It's so relaxing.

But also I'm completely terrified DH or I will get this virus badly. Or that when DH's work contract is up in a few months it won't be renewed. That at any moment life could come crashing down. Last night I was watching mass graves being dug in New York city for the multitude of unclaimed bodies. It's horrific. And yet today my DC and I will make Easter cakes.

I also have a lot of anxiety over the food shopping situation. Fear of not being able to get enough food for DC which is made worse by a childhood of tightly controlled food access. I have anxiety when food is restricted and all I can dream about now is how when this is over I'm going to have a utility room with a big pantry added to my house and I will keep it stocked full of food. I won't waste food, I'll rotate it and it buy things that will be used before they go off. But I won't ever let us have empty shelves.

I'm worried that even after a vaccine life won't ever be normal again. How many near misses have we had only recently: Ebola, SARS, mers, now Corona. There will be more in my life time.

So I'll remember what a strange time it's been, the best and the worst.

The quiet and birdsong.
The selfishness of some,the virtue signalling of others.
The fantastic behaviour of work colleagues.
The ignorance around social care/nursing homes and that it has taken/is taking too long for Gov to catch up regarding the fact that nurses work in this sector too as well as carers..and ppe is needed!

How low down the list of priorities aesthetics are to me compared to practicality. Our home is currently set up to work with the way we live now - not what looks nice to visitors. The exercise bike is in the sitting room in the best place to use it every day, not hidden away to be dragged out. That room is now set up for exercise and tv - not a nice room for having people round. And I've barely worn my hair down, let alone straightened or styled it. I'm considering "mothballing" most of my make up for the duration. And so many of my clothes are irrelevant to a life where we don't leave the house.

@Hennybeans I can relate to all of that.

I'll remember how incredibly ill I felt, and spending the first weeks of lockdown stuck in bed, wondering whether me and my family were going to survive. During this time I heard two sounds from my window. Bird song and ambulances.

The fear when I hear about front line nursing staff dying of Covid and knowing that's what my sister is going into work to do every day, as well as other family members, and some friends. And I will never forget the picture of her marked face from her PPE.

Shutting the bar and restaurant down where I work and the hollow and dead feeling the place had just before we left and when I've needed to go in to check everything is still secure and that gases etc are ok and freezers what have you functioning properly.

The utter selflessness of some people during this time and the utter selfishness of others.

Bad bits:
That otherwise sensible friends don't get that we don't manufacture much stuff, that ventilators, various chemicals and swabs etc are all bought in. That's why we are reliant on other countries releasing stick, like Germany this week with ventilators

That otherwise sensible friends don't understand that starting to manufacture anything takes time, testing and the gearing up for mass production... assuming the raw materials are available

That British media is probably worse than I thought. Even when caught in an outright lie, 150,000 deaths, £10k freebie to MPs etc, they just double down and carry on scaring the shit out if us and encouraging the foil hat brigade

Best bits:
Living in a small, rural town can be fucking brilliant. So many people just doing what they do, supporting total strangers, from a smile to food and medicine deliveries. All done with no quibbling

That DH and I can manage with very little angst. We need little. Books, music, freezer and cupboards of disparate ingredients and we are fine.

The frustration

I’m an intensive care nurse.

I have never felt so loved and appreciated.

I have also never felt so scared.

Pretty sure I will have PTSD.

It's complicated.

I'm sure it has tipped my marriage over from "just about ok" to "I'd rather be single".
I don't think I'm as good a mum as I thought I was.
I really , really miss my friends.

But -
I've somehow ended up running the local response group. We've secured a contract with a surplus food distributor, and we now make up and deliver 150+ free boxes of food a week. I have hundreds of volunteers working with me, doing all sorts. I've never felt so professionally fulfilled, or so happy to live in the community I'm a part of. I am hugely saddened that it's taken an epidemic to make me realise, but I feel that I've found something I'm truly good at, that helps those around me.

Our family what's app chats, we are in touch much more often than We would usually be. Sharing food ideas, what walks we've done, what jobs we've done etc. It's an invaluable lifeline for my 74 year old mum who lives alone x

Which of my neighbours are abject wankers and have wilfully broken lockdown. As I type there is a person in the garden next to mine that does not live there. It pisses me off that I care as much as I do. It pisses me off when others are doing their best and putting themselves in harms way.

That I will never respect some of my neighbours ever again. Repeatedly going out and mixing between households whilst clapping at their front doors at 8pm every Thursday, hypocrites.

That many children are now going to grow up with only one parent.

That Savage TikTok song tbh

Fearing that this can end my DS1's life if he gets Covid19 as he has cerebral palsy.

I hope we will all view immigrants to this country with genuine compassion. Immigrants that have been displaced by years and decades of our Western Governments overt and covert policies and self interested wars.

I hope that ALL citizens of the developed world Governments hold them to account for the abuse they excert over the African continent eventhough that continent IS the bread basket of the world.