Disappointing misunderstandings/mishearing- can you beat this?!

[PeepeeDarling]

Always wanted to be able to afford to take my kids to either Disney or Lapland for Xmas.

Anyway my dm just called to say now her cruise has been cancelled she’s decided to put that money towards a trip for me and the kids. My phone is signal is not the best and volume dips sometimes so I genuinely thought she said I want to take you and the kids Lapland in winter!
Fantastic I was excited especially when she said about the difference packages she’d been looking into but slightly confused when she mentioned staying at holiday inn rather than the main hotel as it’s cheaper. No not Lapland in winter we’re off to Lego land in Windsor 😂🙈
A lovely gesture nonetheless which the kids will love but alas no Lapland just yet.
Any misunderstandings/ things you’ve misheard to entertain me on this Groundhog Day?

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A guy I was seeing years ago had 3 boys who constantly fought each other. He was oblivious to them and always had the mantra: A house should be filled with the noise of childrens laughter. (I wouldn't have minded if they were laughing but they were screaming at each other constantly). One night I'd had enough of them murdering each other and I said "I'm going home because I hate the noise". 2 weeks later and I had messaged him a couple of times but no reply. He eventually gets back to me lecturing about how disappointed he was with me and never to insult his kids again. I could not get my head around what he was getting at until he reminded me of my parting that night 2 weeks prior telling him I hate his boys. Nothing I said to correct his mishearing would have mattered at that point. We have never spoken again and the last I heard of his kids, the eldest was due in court for assault of his mother.

I was at the till in a supermarket, we’d just got back off holiday and I was tired and full of cold. I could swear the young lad on the till said *Do you have a boyfriend?...but I knew he couldn’t have! So I asked him to repeat himself...he said Do you have a Waitrose card?^ Good job I double checked!

I once got a letter saying that i had won an award, i told everyone, bought a new dress and shoes etc. Only to get a phone call on the morning of the awards ceremony to tell me that there had been a mistake and there was another person with the same name as me who had won the award.

Walker - I really laughed at that. What was the award for???

I walked into a shop absolutely drenched from the rain, the cashier said to me "You are really wet" and I said "Yes I know" as it was obvious!! I thought he looked at me a bit funny but a few weeks later I saw him again with someone I knew so went and spoke to them. It turned out that he said "You are really pretty" and I had agreed that Yes I know!

It was an employee of the year award!

I thought my driving examiner said "turn your head". Fortunately I politely asked him to repeat it before I did randomly take my eyes off the road and look at him. He had of course asked me to "take the road ahead"

When DS2 was about 3, he was telling me all about how his stepmother had taken his little sister out to see a 'little monster'. I tried to get to the bottom of what he meant - had they been to a farm? Seen someone's new pet? He wasn't sure. So I asked his stepmother, who said 'No idea, the only place we've been was to Baby Yoga?' Then all made sense