Children going to their dad's in lockdown?

[TattooEnvy]

Hi,

I don't know if this is the right place for this but looking for some opinions and help formulating a response.

DCs dad has been in touch asking when they can go to his. They want them there for when their half sister or brother is born.

For context, they live 600 miles away down practically the other end of the country...

Before Christmas (so before we knew much about covid and lockdown) we had arranged this and I had no issue with it then but surely they can't be serious now?! I know technically children can still move between households but does that mean they should?

I know they haven't been taking lockdown very seriously and have been having people round/going round others which gives me the rage. But even without this surely having a pregnant wife (with underlying health issues) would mean you'd take this all pretty seriously? I'm just baffled that they're still expecting DCs to go.

I'm finding it very difficult to be calm about this, I'm flicking between incredulity, frustration, and rage. Can anyone help me formulate a response that isn't 'are you fucking serious?'

Or if I'm being ridiculous or overprotective tell me to give my head a wobble. We've been taking covid and lockdown very seriously, but perhaps too seriously? (Although I think I'd rather take it too seriously and not had to than not take it seriously enough but should have...)

Thank you

No way should the children be travelling that far whilst still on lockdown. It will have to wait until the lockdowns finished. If he lived local fair enough but that's to far.

No you aren’t being ridiculous.
My children are seeing their dad. But we are a 10 min walk (2 min drive) away. Both households are isolating. My household is the children and myself. His household is just him. So neither household s have contact with anyone else (bar the postie etc) I’m the only one going for shopping.

But, in your circumstances. I would absolutely not be sending them to their dads.

Absolutely not. They are being ridiculous and frankly should be taking self isolation even more seriously if she’s in the third trimester. I am a midwife and we have lost 12 midwives since advise changed to say that those over 28/40 should self isolate, they won’t be back for over a yr now.
600 mile drive is not essential. I co parent through necessity so I can work, but I’m also the only one who does the food shop etc and we live a stones throw from each other
Stick to your guns

Thank you all.

Little edit to correct it to 600 miles round trip away, but I'm relatively sure it won't effect replies.

I really appreciate your perspectives

I'm still gobsmacked he's even asked, I can't quite formulate a response. As well as the lockdown guidelines and risks, surely it will be practically impossible logistically?! Even if he's not allowed to be there for the birth, so the kids will be able to stay with him, they still have to get her there and back which will be damn near impossible with 3 other children in tow surely...

I'm still unable to articulate anything other than 'you can't be fu king serious!' at the moment. But that won't do anything much good so your responses are helpful for helping me set out exactly why this can't happen regardless of how nice it might be to have them there

Mine aren’t even travelling 60 miles (round trip) to see their Dad so no way would I allow 600 miles! Utterly ridiculous.

The distance is a good enough reason. 300 miles isn't do-able with children without at least one break. Then there's the additional risk exposure to accidents/breakdowns/roadblocks by the police these have been happening on the main dual carriageway near us.

It's just not an essential journey. The baby won't miss their siblings and your children can 'meet' the baby virtually.

I’m going through something a little similar but I’m your case the facts being they are not taking it seriously and the distance being so far, for me would be a no no, even as a dad I wouldn’t expect the kids to travel to see me or stay over.

Here’s a link to my post:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/3875495-Co-Parenting-Decision-making-and-disagreements-during-coronavirus-outbreak

The distance would be a no for me. My DS is still going to his dad's but it's a 30 minute drive.