Anyone else struggling, but feeling guilty because there are a lot worse off?

[namechangedyetagain]

Just that. I'm lucky. We have a roof over my head whilst we can pay the mortgage, dh is in a relatively stable job, we have enough food for the next few days, the dc are healthy.

And yet I feel awful. I'm currently at home as I work in school (t a)and schools are closed for now. I miss my class so much. I'm worrying about other children in school and wondering how they're coping. Are they safe? Are they eating? My own children are missing their friends and of course a huge chunk of learning. At the same time getting under my feet and making a mess everywhere!

Despite our daily walks, we're getting tetchy with each other. Dh is also a key worker but on laptop working most of day. I'm missing my colleagues and friends and my work, it's so busy in school I'm not used to doing nothing.

I just feel so sad and down and there is no end in sight. I was supposed to be starting a uni course in Sept but even that seems up in the air at the minute. I'm on ADs for depression following 2 bereavements in space of 9 months. My repeat hasn't come through and I don't like to bother the doctors because they have proper stuff going on at the minute. I'm eating and drinking too much. I feel awful despite getting out every day. I don't feel like I will be able to manage this too much longer.

Any tips for getting through this? My concentration seems to be lacking (combination of not sleeping and feeling agitated I guess).

Sorry for the moan. As I say, there are lots worse off than me

As I say, there are lots worse off than me

Yes, there are. LOADS of them. But it's OK to feel upset and stressed out by being at home and worrying, I think most people are just now. A friend send me one of those inspirational quotes that I usually hate but I thought this one made sense. It said you're not stuck at home, you're safe at home. When I start to feel a bit sorry for myself (I'm shielding so can't even go out for a walk), I just remember that. My sister is front-line and I wouldn't swap places for all the money in the world.

You are completely justified to feel how you are feeling. Please do contact the doctors to get your medication, yes there is big things happening in the world, but you are still important too!

Feeling stressed with your partner is also completely normal, it's an intense situation few of us have ever come close to.

Just try to take things day by day, eventually you will be back at work and things will resume some normality. Also remember you shouldn't beat yourself up, you sound really caring which is often a double edged sword in situations like this!
Try and start afresh with the drinking and eating, you will feel so much better if you can, maybe do a meal plan with what you and family can eat, I have and it's given me a sense of control and slight normality (and hopefully will help my increasing waist band)

Would you ever say that you felt bad about being happy because someone else has a better life than you? Nope. So no need to feel guilty for feeling low ever, especially not at a crappy time like this

I really think you should request your repeat prescription, its important and GP'S are doing GP work albeit not face to face. This is not the time to run out.

I'm trying not to worry about all the friends I have here in Spain. The tourist season was just starting to wind up. Now everything is shut with no hope of opening or bookings. Many will have no income at all. The Spanish don't have a benefit system as good as the uk, they expect more family help. Of course a lot of families work on camp sites or in bars and restaurants, so they're all in the same boat
We're retired so our income is steady and I keep trying to count my blessings.

I know what you mean OP. I’m a freelancer and all my work has dried up so I’m at home looking after our DCs who are nursery and primary school age. DH is in a very stable job and is WFH but busier than ever so during the day we don’t see him at all except when he pops down to make himself a sandwich at lunchtime. After two and a half weeks of trying to home school DCs with very different educational abilities and skills, and now with the Easter holidays just unravelling into endless days of iPads, snacks, relentless tidying up and refereeing arguments - I’ve hit a proper wall today. I just feel exhausted. Physically and mentally. If I hear the word “mummy” one more time I might go irretrievably insane.

But we are all fine. Safe, healthy, enough food and money to be comfortable. I have nothing to complain about really. But fuck me, today is hard.

Yes, I feel the same.

Both DS and I are very low risk so are able to still go out for exercise and go shopping to get out the house. I've been furloughed so I'm getting 80% of my pay, which means I'm home with DS and able to concentrate fully on making sure he keeps up with schoolwork. My ex is a key worker and doing overtime so he will be able to help financially to make up for my loss of income. I have plenty of time to do activities with him as well.

But I'm feeling really down about the whole situation. DS is an only child and he misses his friends and having people of his own age to play with. The weather is improving and I can't do all the things I would normally do when it's nice outside. I feel like there's nothing to look forward to at the moment.

It's trivial and I know there are people dying of the virus, people who have lost their jobs, people who are vulnerable and cannot leave their homes at all.

But I can't help feeling low.

I keep going in and out of it. A nice walk down the beach last night lifted my spirits but it’s only a temporary fix.
I’m used to a busy life and can’t motivate myself at all. Sat in the sun for a couple of hours and then when we went into shade went off for a walk..
I know I’m better off than a lot and then there’s people a lot better off than me so it’s all relative.
I also feel that we aren’t even been given the full story but that’s a completely different topic.

Oh lovely. It jumps out from your post that there are two immediate things you could do to lift your mood:

1. get your meds sorted. It is the work of 30 secs for your GP, honestly, just get the repeat prescription. Imagine you are doing it to benefit your kids, not you. It is important to them that you are well.
2. cut down on the drinking, give up alcohol entirely if you can. Honestly, you will feel so much better. Sleep, tetchiness.... it will help with these. I promise. Try just those two things and I swear it will make a difference.

I weep about every half hour. I’m doing Zoom exercise, but it’s not helping in the way that classes do.

I feel very guilty, but just can’t help it. I’m terrified it will never be over and that I won’t see friends and family again. I’m terrified that if we get it, we won’t be treated because we’re older. Just plain terrified really.

I don’t drink and I’m not eating much. I need to get out of the house but I know I can’t. Pretty desperate now.

Today is the first day it has really got to me, day off, it’s the holidays and we cannot go anywhere. I have lost all motivation and I am now annoying myself. I know I need to get a grip as all is fine, we have food, we have jobs, we have a garden but I am fed up!

Yes. I have only in recent months come to accept the cliche 'it's ok not to be ok' (for myself, obviously I believed it was ok for other people not to be ok). Now I don't believe it anymore for myself, because everyone else has so many reasons not to be ok now and I don't. I am still going to work as I am a keyworker, so I still leave the house and see other people outside my family, no one I know is very ill with covid yet, DH and I both have secure jobs that will still exist in the future, we are not financially struggling, we have food. I am not struggling though, partly because I was struggling before this and, while things might not be millions of times worse for me like they are for most other people, my underlying problems are not better either. I was referred for counselling via work before this which is now happening over the phone, which I knew would be hugely difficult and it is in an entirely not-related-to-covid way, but I have lost the extremely small number of people I would have reached out about how I am struggling with this because I feel it is not fair to them when they almost certainly have many problems of their own to deal with now. The fact that it is hot and sunny causes problems for my terrible coping mechanisms that other people can't see (I think most people won't understand what that sentence is about). I can't go out, because my one 'period of exercise' is taking DC for a walk, and I don't want to be out alone with my own thoughts anyway. I can't watch tv or read or listen to loud, angry or sad music because DC and DH are always here.

I can't even fucking type a coherent sentence. Half way through my previous post it says 'I am not struggling though' which is the exact opposite of what it should say.