How much money to have a child alone in London?

[AnnaJou]

I am 32 and currently in a very recent relationship, and I don't know yet if it has long-term potential. I am starting to consider what I want from my future, and having a child is one of the things I know I want for sure.

I know I am still young and have time to find someone else if my current relationship doesn't work out, but I am also reading up about having a child alone with a sperm donor as option B. It is not something I would do in the immediate future, but if in a couple of years I haven't found the right partner, I might consider it.

Currently I live in London in a one-bedroom flat and earn approximately £70k. I comfortably live below my means, have savings and no debt. Because of the nature of my job, I have to live in a big city as there are no opportunities rurally. I am also aware of how expensive childcare is, which I would have to rely on heavily to continue working. I would also have to move to a 2 bedroom flat, which would be more expensive than my current one.

For anyone who had a child alone in London, how much money do you reckon are needed to do it? Am I mad to even consider it in my income bracket?

Thank you a lot for anyone who wants to share their experience. As I said I am only considering my options at this stage, but I'd love to hear other people's perspectives!

Please seriously consider the risks if you plan to do this alone.

My pregnancy sickness was so bad I was hooked up to a drip for months, my delivery was so bad I am still dealing with the fallout and my kid is a toddler.

If I had been alone I wouldn't have been able to care for my child. Baby would have been removed.

Financially very secure here but the mental and physical toll were unbelievable.

Affordability is only a small part of the process.

I assume your career is stable, you don't ever have sudden requests to travel or work late etc etc. Or that you have a family support network or plan to buy in help to fill the gaps.
Even if you love your job now, you may not always wish to work full time.
You may not be able to.
Not all children are physically or mentally well enough to allow their parents to work full time.
You may become ill yourself.
You can expect young children to suddenly become unwell and nurseries or childminders to insist you collect them now.
A financial buffer and family support is really useful.

@Turnedouttoes

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.homesandproperty.co.uk/property-news/buying/shared-ownership-in-chelsea-waterfront-flats-from-160k-in-same-development-as-roman-abramovichs-30m-a132091.html%3famp

That's a good scheme although the service charges are pretty hefty

I think it is doable and you sound very committed and sensible but it could be difficult without a partner at times. From experience, it's hard to have a high-flying career while bringing up a child. One person often takes a step back to focus on the child Saying that, an ineffectual partner is worse than no partner so it just depends. Like PPs have said, you would probably need some kind of support network of family/friends at times. Moral support of the parents is just as important as physical support of the child at times. It all depends on the baby, really. Some are easier than others but if you had excellent, reliable childcare in place and a support network, it could be amazing.

Consider if you have to travel/work late, who would look after the child? Also, until they are around 13 or so, they will need a lot of adyky supervision before and after school so it won't end at school age but I am sure you are aware of that. And then you have the teenage years...But I would say if it is something you really would like and in a year or two, your relationship hasn't put you in a position to have a baby with your partner, maybe consider it. Good luck.

Thank you all for your kind replies!

My job is quite flexible and I work from home 2 days a week. Several of my colleagues (even more senior than me) have children, so that is reassuring.

As for the PPs who mention the mental and physical toll of having children, I hear you and that is another big concern of mine. Of course having a child with a good partner is the best case scenario, but what is the second best option? Forgoing having children altogether? Or doing it solo?

That is the question I am trying to answer in my head.

I'm a solo parent. Best decision I made!

You could make it work on that income. However, I wonder whether it would be easier if you moved out a little and commuted in. That would probably buy you more and a garden maybe.

I would also consider the other support that you could do with. Family support is key. I'm lucky as mine are a God send and local. So if there's an issue they can assist.

Though I don't rely on them for childcare per se, I do at time use them when I have particularly long days at work etc or if am hospitalised, as has happened.

Fwiw, best decision I ever made!

Could you have a child alone?- yes with a very supportive local family. I know I’m very lucky having a partner and a child, but knowing what I know if you asked me to not have a child or have one alone I’d not have a child.
Love my LO to death but it’s so unbelievably hard and I wouldn’t want to do it alone.

It really does take a village to raise a child.

This pandemic has removed our support system. We are fucked beyond belief. Please think about the worst case scenario and plan for them.

Also please make sure you appoint a guardian and have a robust will and financial planning if the worst were to happen to you.

If you cover all the important things off and you are happy then go ahead.

Just bear in mind the worst may happen.