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Original poster

Partner living seperate, prone to falls, can he move in?

24 replies

Chrissy1986 · 07/04/2020 22:12

Good evening all,

My partner lives seperately to me and has been at work still in a small office since the Lockdown.

I have been in isolation with my children for 3 weeks in this time.

He has kept seperate and has been in isolation for a week now. In this time he has fallen over 3 times (he has cerebral palsy) , once being down the stairs and it was luck he had his phone on him to call and he didn't break anything. My worry is, due to his condition, it will keep happening, whether he admits it or not and my fear is, if he falls down the stairs and knocks himself out, no one will know as he lives alone and has no other family or friends in the area as he's only just moved here.

Can he move in with me, for his safety mainly? Who do I need to ask permission from? I don't want to be reported for him moving in whilst in lockdown. But also I don't want him to be at risk at home alone.

What are your opinions?

The girls and I have been in isolation for 3 weeks, no symptoms. He's been in isolation for 1 week, no symptoms and no one in his small office have had symptoms as it stands. So it'd be a case of him coming to me to be in isolation also.

Thank you xx

OP posts:

TitianaTitsling · 07/04/2020 22:14

Hi does his local authority have a telecare alert system? How much help does he need to get up when he does fall?

trashcanjunkie · 07/04/2020 22:16

It’s fine

miccymaccy · 07/04/2020 22:17

Yes

PrincessSarene · 07/04/2020 22:23

Combining households is allowed (assuming you are happy with the associated increased risk of exposure), it’s going back and forth that’s not. However I think it depends on what your reasons are for isolating? Are you or your children classed as higher risk? If so, then your partner should isolate for at least 14 days then you can combine households if none of you are showing symptoms. (It’s not clear from your post if your partner is still working in his office? If so, then he is not in fact isolating so you should not consider him moving in at all.)

Tiddlytubbies · 07/04/2020 22:25

What does he do when we're not in lockdown or am I missing something here? I think it would be best to be with somone though, the thing is if he is still going to work on his small office he is bringing the chance of spreading the virus into your home every night...

Original poster

Chrissy1986 · 07/04/2020 22:29

He can get up himself, but I worry he'll fall and not be able to summon help.

OP posts:

Original poster

Chrissy1986 · 07/04/2020 22:33

@Tiddlytubbies he's now no longer working as he's a 'vulnerable person' so he's been insolation for a week now. He's applied for help but was rejected as he is too independent. Normally he's at work all day and mine in the evenings, so he only sleeps there most days. He's very normally alone during the waking hours.

OP posts:

CoffeeandPainting · 07/04/2020 22:34

Yes move in together, if you feel its the right thing for your children Nd not him

Original poster

Chrissy1986 · 07/04/2020 22:39

@Tiddlytubbies sorry it should read normally not alone during waking hours

OP posts:

Original poster

Chrissy1986 · 07/04/2020 22:40

@coffeeandpainting good point....

OP posts:

HannibalOnaHeffalump · 07/04/2020 22:43

It's a stressful and strange time, and moving in a stepfather figure might not be in your daughters' best interests right now, tbh.

FourDecades · 07/04/2020 22:45

Also financially, you would need to inform authorities if you are in receipt of benefits

Original poster

Chrissy1986 · 07/04/2020 22:46

@hannibalonaheffalump another good point. He is here every evening normally for dinner, but I see what you mean. Thank you.

OP posts:

Original poster

Chrissy1986 · 07/04/2020 22:48

@FourDecadesas it stands I'm not looking to claim as a carer at this point in time as he is so mobile. But this may change as his condition deteriorates :( but for the lockdown, this will not be a problem. Thank you x

OP posts:

Flowersforpowers · 07/04/2020 22:49

In terms of Coronavirus rules, yes he can move in, you don't need to ask permission. But, make sure it's the right thing for you and your kids. If this were normal times would you be considering it? How about getting him one of those personal wearable alarms?

Original poster

Chrissy1986 · 07/04/2020 22:55

@flowersforpowers I've already said this to him (and my kids) that it would not be long term and just for this lockdown. I'm not interested in living with a partner... Atleast not yet.... which he knows about. I have spoken to the kids and they would be excited about him staying but I have also touched on the fact it is an added risk for us so it may not happen for a while if ever (in child speak obvi as they're only 8 and 7) as theyre health comes first. I will mention the alarm to him...

OP posts:

Seaweed42 · 07/04/2020 22:55

As other poster says, what impact will this have on your kids.
It's likely the move is permanent as his falls have nothing to do with coronavirus.
What did he do about falls before you came along, can he get a house with no stairs.

Seaweed42 · 07/04/2020 22:58

Does cerebral palsy get worse? Are people not born with it and it stays the same...

Original poster

Chrissy1986 · 07/04/2020 23:06

@seaweed42 it wouldn't be permanent, and you're right about the kids. He would need to look in to moving I think, long term...we just need a quick fix... But the kids safety comes first.

OP posts:

Original poster

Chrissy1986 · 07/04/2020 23:08

@seaweed42 yes sadly for him it will. It was a miracle that learnt to walk and doctors said he wouldn't be walking past his 30th and now he's in his 40s. His joints are starting to seize up.

OP posts:

GrumpyHoonMain · 07/04/2020 23:12

If he moved in while they are young your girls would become defacto carers. Please do bear this in mind. It’s never easy have a step parent but even less so if he is expected to deterioate significantly in the next few years.

Clymene · 07/04/2020 23:20

If his physical condition is deteriorating, what makes you think he will move out again? Are you prepared to be a carer for him as well as your children?

FourDecades · 08/04/2020 15:25

it stands I'm not looking to claim as a carer at this point in time as he is so mobile. But this may change as his condition deteriorates sad but for the lockdown, this will not be a problem. Thank you x

No single person council tax discount

Also if you are now living together then you can't claim as a single person and would have to change to a joint claim.

lemontreebird · 08/04/2020 15:33

Personal wearable alarm. Good luck in getting him to wear one.

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