DD's screen time!

[screentimeee]

We have really struggled with DD's sleep since she was born! She has never been a good sleeper and now has behavioural problems with some ASD signs!!

We have let her go to bed with her tablet for the past year since she went in a bed otherwise she just runs around her room for hours trashing the place and I mean HOURS were as if we give her the tablet with the blue light on she will fall asleep within half an hour!

Also she sometimes (quite often) will wake in the night for hours! So I just give her the tablet and she watches it in bed until either I get up in the morning or she falls back to sleep, if I don't give her the tablet she will sit up shouting me constantly or again making lots of noise trashing her room!

I feel like such a shit mum letting her have the tablet in bed, but then I think as a child I always went to bed watching a DVD 🤷🏻‍♀️

She also watch it during the day if I need to get jobs done or feed the baby other wise its constant needing attention, no matter how many activity's we have already done together!

Tonight we tried '20 minutes then I am taking it away' and when it came to taking it she was straight out the bed 🤦🏻‍♀️ I just wanted to fall out the window... GOD MY HEAD HURTS!!

How old?

Does she still run around if you sit with her instead of her having the tablet?

@preponderings she is 3 and a half!

Yes we have tried everything when it comes to her sleep, we have stories in bed make sure her black out blinds are down white noise on and use a pillow spray but even the book is hard she points at everything takes us 2 minutes to read 1 page she always seems so hyper the only time she zones out is when she has her tablet and even then in the day it only lasts 20 minutes at best!!

@preponderings sorry I didn't even answer the question! If we sit in with her she gets out the bed and will try and do something role play like doctors!

Another thing she does is completely empties her wardrobe to the point iv had to get a lock for it!

ok, so when DS was that age I used to have to pin him down into bed until he gave up

Ouch. I really doubt the screen is helping, even if it seems like it does right now.

sometimes (quite often) will wake in the night for hours! So I just give her the tablet and she watches it in bed until either I get up in the morning or she falls back to sleep,
Does that mean if she's been awake in the night and then you get up that she is also then up for the day?
Does she nap?

Have you tried music or stories rather than white noise?

It doesn't matter how long to take you to read a page. Do you have books without words? I had to read the same story to my DS every night for over a year and a half...

What is a pillow spray? Are you. Asking too big a deal of bed time rather than a matter of fact "it's bed time now." Do you have something to do (e.g. kindle on a black screen) so you can sit with her and "be busy" whilst she goes to sleep rather than her thinking you're there to play?

Urgh. Saw it as it posted. Are you making too big a deal...

@preponderings yes more than likely for example the other night she went to bed at 7pm was asleep by 7.20pm! Woke up at 3.20 AM then fell back to sleep just before I got up at 8AM she then got up for the day at 9AM! She very rarely falls asleep during the day.

Some nights we do have to lay with her regardless of her having the tablet, DH is in bed with her now as she will not go to sleep!

She was under a paediatrician but because she gives eye contact she discharged her 🤦🏻‍♀️ my health visitor has said she could probably do with medication to help her fall asleep!

Just makes me feel like crap giving her the tablet so I can get some sleep!

What happens if she doesn't get the tablet at 3 am but one of you goes to lie with her or she comes to your bed? And you just repeat "it's night time, mummy's tired, go to sleep" whenever she tries to talk.

From hindsight, because I did give DS the tablet to occupy him when I was tired, I'm not sure it's the right thing to do. Although I am generally a fan of the "do whatever you can to get the most sleep" philosophy. Now, he's almost 10. His behaviour when he's had too much ipad is noticeably worse as is his tendency to lash out and wreck things. He can't self-regulate on it, but it is the only time when he too zones out. For reference, we are looking at adhd/asd type diagnoses for him.

How old is the baby and does she like him/her?

Could it be exacerbated by jealousy that baby is still "up" with you?

If she likes the baby, could you do quiet story time together and tell her she needs to be quiet and calm so baby can sleep?

Can you look at it differently....

You'd be giving her medication so SHE can sleep. She needs sleep & to learn a good bed/sleep routine & to grow!

The fact that you two will get some sleep is just an added bonus!

Take the help you're being offered!! 🌷

@preponderings If we stay with her she will just lie down but as soon we I fall asleep she will be jumping all over me, sometimes she will get really upset and cry!

The baby is 6 months, she adores him and he is a brilliant sleeper so he is asleep every night by 8pm!

Is she waking regularly at the same time? Have you slept in her room the whole night to see if something is waking her? (Too hot, cold, heating clicking, neighbour coming home etc)

I don't have any other ideas except persistence. The thing is, she's used to getting the tablet at night so there will be tantrums for a while whatever you try.

Good sleep hygiene. There are foods supposed to help promote sleep.

Maybe counter intuitive, DD will not sleep in a dark room, we had to get her a night light. Could the black out blind be making it too dark?

Is it always you who goes to her when she wakes in the night?

Can I just point out that 720-320 is 8 hours of sleep!

What’s your point @preponderings? 8 hours sleep is a long way short of what a 3 year old should be getting. She should be getting 11-13 hours per night.

I honestly think I would medicate and break the cycle of the tablet. If she needed medication for anything else you would give it, I don't think help sleeping is a bad reason at all.

It might well help her get the rest she needs which might also help going forward. I know my kids (who don't have any additional needs) can get over tired and it is very difficult to get them back sleeping in a routine. DS is 4.5 and he goes up to bed about 6:45pm and wakes up about 5:30am. We can sometimes get him in our bed for an extra 30mins snooze but one of us is up with him at 6am every day. I do think expecting your 3yo to stay asleep/in bed until 8am or 9am is unrealistic especially if they need less sleep and/or are an early riser.

There is no should especially when it comes to a child with potential SN.

My point is, that if she is regularly getting 8 hours sleep and not napping during the day, then maybe OP needs to plan around that for now. 11-13 hours is an average, to suit most kids. But just as not every adult needs their 8 hours a night, not every child needs 11-13.

We never put DS to bed at 7. We had a start to get ready for bed at 7, in bed by 730 read and sit with him, ignoring until he fell asleep, which could take 1-2 hours.
We've shifted it by half an hour now because he's older and clubs finish later.
He wakes at 5, always has done.

What time is she eating her evening meal if bed time is at 7?
What happens if you shift the meal later?