Anyone else hate birthdays?

[Chocolatedaim]

I was actually kind of looking forward to this one because we are in lockdown therefore there is no pressure to do anything, no pals to text last minute sorry I can’t make it, no need to put on a public show because you can’t go anywhere anyway. But all today has been is an anxiety inducing headache. I can’t breathe I feel so stressed.
Just sat in the toilet crying.
Does anyone else get like this every year?

I don’t like celebrating my birthday (the awkwardness of not knowing what to do with my face while everyone sings happy birthday at me; being intently watched as I open gifts) but I don’t panic at the idea of the birthday itself.

What is it exactly which makes you so stressed and anxious? Have you tried writing it down and then also writing ways you can mitigate why it makes you feel that way? Crying in the bathroom is a pretty disproportionate response to a date in a calendar so it sounds like you have particular memories or experiences you associate with birthdays and it’s those which upset you.

I love my birthday ,but that's me .

If you don't like celebrating in a particular way,or at all,that's absolutely fine.
It sounds awful that you would sit crying in the toilet,is there anyone you could talk to.

Try visualizing the rest of the day with all non birthday things ?

I think it’s the idea that I’m expected to be so happy that makes me so anxious. I am meant to be enjoying the day and everyone asks have you had a nice day, what have you done?? Obviously this year it’s different but I’m getting so many texts, my husband is fretting because baby is screaming (teething troubles) and I just want to be left alone and for it to be just another day.

Ive hated them ever since I’ve been old enough to plan my own parties. I enjoy other people’s birthdays much more than my own. I always spend mine so stressed

I can relate to the crying and anxiety. I spiral down on my birthday, it is my worst day of each year. It just serves as a reminder to me of how shit my life is, how little I have achieved and that no one cares. I hate it.

I'm not fussed - just another day. I get up, go to work hoping nobody knows it's my birthday, come home, open a card from the kids and go to bed. Even my 40th was a total non-event.