Can I start with this is not completely deep, I am quite a banterish person and I'm not looking for big emotional solutions but just wondering if its just me...
OK so I'm going to to sound weird and like a stalker, so maybe nobody can relate etc but does anyone become fixated on people? I am a normal woman early 30s,dh 2dcs, I keep myself well, I look OK etc but even from me being at school if there was somebody attractive like a girl I would become abit obsessed with them.
For example there is a school mum who I just put on a pedastal, I just think she's got it all, I even try to avoid talking to her as I feel intimidated by her for some reason. Even if she's running late I think yes but look how well she handles it, still so cool, I think I bet she has such a happy marriage, owns a house, I bet she instills such confidence into her children. It's like I just view them through rose tinted glasses and it's weird because I do have things going for me completely so I know I will get told to focus on myself but I cannot help thinking like this! I get on with my life I'm not totally miserable but it is annoying feeling like I'm just watching someone's else's life, I do just want to focus on me because comparing and obsessing over other people cannot be good. I'm just so intrigued by her and her private life, why can't my mind just stop being obsessed.
I do it with celebrity's too! It's really pathetic but for years I Google Cheryl Cole, Michelle Keegan and Holly Willoughby just to keep up with their lives. I can see it must be women I admire and want to be like possibly? Looks, money, seem to have it all. I am just intrigued by these people and it's like if something bad happens for them (not like death or illness) I don't enjoy it obviously that wouldn't be nice but I like to see how the school mum or the celebs would handle it, I've been through a marriage break up, trying to work on getting back together and I suppose if something like this happened to them it would open my eyes more that their lives are not so perfect and I'm not gonna lie I don't want to happen but it would then what make me feel better? That's awful to be like this! I'm a sensitive person but I sound jealous and bitter, honestly I am nice and obviously I wouldnt want that to happen to them I'm just trying to be honest. I know it would seem I need to focus on my happiness I just can't change these thoughts of thinking they are all perfect.
Is anyone else like this or am I just an odd stalker?? If people knew they would think I'm mad because I probably to them seem like I have it all too!!