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Does anyone else....?

4 replies

Maybeimweird · 06/04/2020 08:27

Can I start with this is not completely deep, I am quite a banterish person and I'm not looking for big emotional solutions but just wondering if its just me...

OK so I'm going to to sound weird and like a stalker, so maybe nobody can relate etc but does anyone become fixated on people? I am a normal woman early 30s,dh 2dcs, I keep myself well, I look OK etc but even from me being at school if there was somebody attractive like a girl I would become abit obsessed with them.

For example there is a school mum who I just put on a pedastal, I just think she's got it all, I even try to avoid talking to her as I feel intimidated by her for some reason. Even if she's running late I think yes but look how well she handles it, still so cool, I think I bet she has such a happy marriage, owns a house, I bet she instills such confidence into her children. It's like I just view them through rose tinted glasses and it's weird because I do have things going for me completely so I know I will get told to focus on myself but I cannot help thinking like this! I get on with my life I'm not totally miserable but it is annoying feeling like I'm just watching someone's else's life, I do just want to focus on me because comparing and obsessing over other people cannot be good. I'm just so intrigued by her and her private life, why can't my mind just stop being obsessed.

I do it with celebrity's too! It's really pathetic but for years I Google Cheryl Cole, Michelle Keegan and Holly Willoughby just to keep up with their lives. I can see it must be women I admire and want to be like possibly? Looks, money, seem to have it all. I am just intrigued by these people and it's like if something bad happens for them (not like death or illness) I don't enjoy it obviously that wouldn't be nice but I like to see how the school mum or the celebs would handle it, I've been through a marriage break up, trying to work on getting back together and I suppose if something like this happened to them it would open my eyes more that their lives are not so perfect and I'm not gonna lie I don't want to happen but it would then what make me feel better? That's awful to be like this! I'm a sensitive person but I sound jealous and bitter, honestly I am nice and obviously I wouldnt want that to happen to them I'm just trying to be honest. I know it would seem I need to focus on my happiness I just can't change these thoughts of thinking they are all perfect.

Is anyone else like this or am I just an odd stalker?? If people knew they would think I'm mad because I probably to them seem like I have it all too!!

OP posts:
DontBiteTheBoobThatFeedsYou · 06/04/2020 09:23

No. I'm very much not like this.

But I'm enthralled.

EthelMayFergus · 06/04/2020 09:38

I'm not like this but I work with someone who will absolutely idolise a new member of staff, especially if they're attractive. It will last for about three months or until the new person does something to kick the pedestal away. I find it fascinating and quite sweet in that the new person has an instant fan/ best friend if they want it. It's almost like a crush, but my colleague isn't gay. Are you looking for someone perfect to model yourself on do you think? Someone within your circle and therefore attainable?

Maybeimweird · 06/04/2020 09:43

Yes maybe it's that I'm trying to keep up with the jones's! But I just want to focus on myself not watch someone else's life! Always comparing etc, why can't I just focus on my own happiness. I thought more people would be like this but maybe not? It's like I'd feel nervous talking to this mum and self conscious because she so seems to have it all but then I also have good things so what's my problem. It must be an insecurity and a feeling of being inadequate.

OP posts:
RonnieBarkingMad · 06/04/2020 11:19

You sound very extreme and like you should try and take a chill pill

Those three celebrities you’ve mentioned have all been involved in scandals: Cheryl Cole whacking that toilet attendant in the face and being accused of hurling racial slurs, Holly Willoughby and that very bizarre husband/stolen car story that the Daily Mail alluded to but wasn’t able to reveal which was one of the strangest stories I have ever read and Michelle Keegan who is rumoured to be having an affair and cheating on her husband.

Equally, your “perfect school mum” - you don’t know anything what is going on in her life, because you don’t speak to her, and even if you did, strangers generally don’t tell other strangers what is wrong or bad in their lives.

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