Is 34 too late to begin a career and make a life for myself?

[ColleeWobbles]

The lockdown has been a massive wake up call to me tbh. It has barely had any affect on my life at all.
I read about people struggling to cope and talk to members of my family who are getting depressed and really suffering with being locked in the house. But genuinely this is my life and it's making me so sad now.

I've struggled with social anxiety since my teens and I go out as little as possible anyway, only leave the house for food shopping and school pick up/drop off (when not in lock down obv). I've been plodding along through life this way and it's become my norm. It's so pathetic and obviously it's a terrible example for my little boy. There is no point to my life .

But at 34 with no work experience/qualifications who is going to hire me? I don't know how I'll cope in the world either, it's obviously been easier to avoid my anxiety than confront it.
Am I past it now? Is it too late to do something meaningful with my life (aside from motherhood)?
I'm feeling so low right now.

You are completely worthy. Do not question this. This is the foundation that you work from. This is your one fact to hold onto, to fall back in, to use to your advantage.

This is so motivational @Eckhart thank you! I will use it as an affirmation

@sociallydistained I've just seen you're feeling the same now you know you aren't alone ❤️
I hope you can take heart in some of the lovely and motivational responses on this thread.

You kind of have 2 options at this point. Some kind of further education like gcse and/or A'levels or some kind of entry level job.

Id say for starters learn to touch type if you cannot already. Then look at one of the learning platforms and try a few online courses.

Youve got at least 30 years until retirement. You need to make a longterm plan. Start by thinking what you might like to do. Or see what courses are available at your local college/uni and see if anything tickles your fancy.

It's not too late at all. In a year (or 5) you'll wish you'd started now.

God I'm such a pathetic excuse for a person - you are not, and that's not a helpful way of thinking about things.

Try something like 'what colour is my parachute' and see what avenues you can explore. This isn't necessarily about hitting on the one 'right answer' straight away, but about trying out different things to help you get closer to knowing where you want to focus.

Good luck!

When life returns to some kind of normal, have you thought about doing some kind of voluntary work that fits in with your little boy. Looks good on your C.V. And you could add in You are a mum, caring for your little one, managing a home and budget and looking to overcome obstacles that have held you back in the past and keen to learn by the sound of it. Its Never too late, Im 42 and after working in care for years (hairdresser before that but not a very good one) I want to go to Uni and study Adult Nursing all being well anyway.. The very best of luck to you, you go for it. Your Son is your inspiration.Lots of love

God I'm such a pathetic excuse for a person.

You've got to stop this! Imagine if someone said that to your dc, you'd be incandescent. Same with YOU! Dont do that to yourself PLEASE. You have to be your friend and Ally.

Just do a qualification, any qualification:GCSE, A level, whatever. Oil the wheels. Do it online if that works for you.

See your GP about your anxiety. Yy things are rubbish at the mo but make it your aim to see your GP to get some help with your anxiety. There is plenty of help out there.

I do understand hiding in the mummy bubble, I really do.

But oh, I wish I was 34! You have so much time ahead, acres of 💐

@ColleeWobbles, ask away! I hand-draw and paint the illustrations then scan them in and maybe touch-up in Photoshop. I just use Word to format. It takes a bit of time to understand the sizing and everything but once you’ve done it it’s ok. Oh, I also finished my Masters at 40 :)

I'm 34 too. I feel exactly the same. Everyone around me is either wfh or doing something to help the country through this crisis. I'm have three children and as much as that's an important job I know, two with ALN, when this is all over and fine what can I say I've actually done? It's never too late though. I finished my degree two years ago, although I started it at 19, and have only really had one proper job in that time which I was in for 5 months. You can do this, it is not too late but you may just have to work harder than when you were younger to get it all in!

What is your living situation like now? Are you out of your abusive relationship? Would you be able to afford to study?

I think the first step is building your confidence. Starting to volunteer would be a great opportunity to do this- something you could start now or wait until the worst of this is over.

If you are creative there’s a lot of online courses you could do, have a look on the open university or start brainstorming things you are good at and go from there.

34 is the new 18! You probably have about 40 years of work in front of you!

Please try to be kind to yourself. Anxiety can hold us all back but you have lots of life left to live. Take baby steps and see what interests you.

At 34 you have potentially another 30-35 years left of working life. Of course it’s not too late!

There are lots of educational options open to you. You could do an access to university course with no formal qualifications, for example.

But to start off with it might increase your confidence to volunteer somewhere to build work experience AND to do some basic skills courses - functional skills English & Maths, IT skills etc.

I’m in London and there are various free ‘getting back to the workplace’ short courses for mums who haven’t worked in a long time or at all. Usually run in the community (libraries, community centres) by a local FE college. Worth checking if they run in your area once this coronavirus situation hopefully eases.

You can do it!

I was similar to you when younger. I had lots of MH issues and hit my mid-twenties with a handful of GSCEs. I did an Access course and applied for the university course that had the least requirement in terms of hours on campus. I completed that (with a lot of support) and do a Masters, but it wasn’t job focused and I still lacked the confidence to jump into the world.

I am now 38 and planning to apply for a vocation postgraduate course next year (will be 39 when starting, if I get a place, and 41 when I finish).

So in short, NO, 34 is not too late.

Good luck

Firstly, you’re absolutely not a terrible example to your little boy.

I’m the same age as you and I’m a few weeks away from qualifying as a teacher (not sure if I’ll actually get a job for September this year now...)
I did get my degree straight after A levels but after that I was in a bad relationship and coasted along as a stay at home parent. My confidence was knocked and I also suffered with anxiety.

I’m so glad I forced myself to make a change and I’m sure you will feel the same. You can do this, we aren’t too old!

You can definitely do this. Have a little trial to see if your interest remains? A quick google will find you some free online illustration short courses.