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Original poster

Exercise/seeing relative

12 replies

milkwhitefeet · 05/04/2020 00:09

FIL is terminally ill with cancer.

Would it be wrong to take our daily exercise in his (large) garden, with him walking alongside us, maintaining 2m distance at all times? He lives about a 2 mile drive away.

I think it probably is wrong... but it's so hard as he has very little time left.

OP posts:

LochJessMonster · 05/04/2020 00:13

Technically yes it’s against the rules.

You have to weigh up the potential consequences of you giving him CV and him dying sooner, or even him giving it to you and whoever you are going with, and one/both of you potentially getting very ill/dying.

It’s a tough one.

TurnOffTheTv · 05/04/2020 00:15

Why would you drive there

Original poster

milkwhitefeet · 05/04/2020 00:22

Correction: it's about 4 miles. Sorry.

OP posts:

AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 05/04/2020 00:45

This is really a quality vs quantity question. Given that your FIL knows he has little time left, he may prefer the risk of a slightly hastened death over the certainty of never seeing his close family again.

In the event that you were to catch it from FIL, would you be in a high risk group?

Personally I think the plan of staying 2m away reduces the risk to a perfectly sensible level. I've stopped to chat to other dog walkers at a >2m distance and I even managed an outdoor cup of tea with a local friend who stayed >2m away. Neither strike me as being a particularly heinous crime right now.

LilyPond2 · 05/04/2020 00:49

You should bear in mind that keeping a two metre distance is not an absolute guarantee that one person won't pass the virus to another. There have been studies suggesting that the virus can travel further if someone coughs or sneezes. Not making a moral judgment in the circumstances, but your family's decision should be an informed decision.

Pogmella · 05/04/2020 00:49

He wouldn’t just ‘die’ though. He’d risk an extended painful death struggling to breathe.

Could you go over and do stuff through the windows? It’s a toughie.

inwood · 05/04/2020 00:50

Yes it would be wrong. You are mixing households and driving to a location. What if you infect him, you could be asymptotic

inwood · 05/04/2020 00:51

I get where you are coming from though. Do you need to see him for a medical need?

RonnieBarkingMad · 05/04/2020 00:52

The man is terminally ill with cancer.

No, visiting him and not being in contact with him less than 2 metres away isn’t going to prolong his life any longer, but his family and friends in close contact with him as he lives out his final days would mean the world to him, I’m sure.

So many people just see it as a black and white issue without any grey-ground in-the-middle empathy.

stardust40 · 05/04/2020 01:01

If it was my family I would definitely work out a way of seeing him....we may still be in isolation and if he doesn't have long left and wants to see his family I would. Either sitting in the back garden a distance away, sitting either side of the patio door or window with it open slightly so you can hear each other.

Ijustcameforthecomments · 05/04/2020 01:02

My heart would be breaking. I'd be taking my exercise with him, as safe as you all can be

WinterCat · 05/04/2020 01:07

Could you go and visit through a window? I appreciate that he is terminally ill and you want to maximise your time together but the way covid kills is awful. Two metres really isn’t enough and to be further, and safer, is probably too far to easily hear conversation anyway.

I’m sorry. This must be such an awful time for all of you.

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