Please help me

[shuuush]

I'm not coping. Years ago I had terrible health anxiety due to the sudden unexpected death of my baby, After that I would constantly convince myself my loved ones were going to die even if they just had a minor illness.
I got better until this and today I've woke up shaking and my heart is pounding.
My dh who is asthmatic always coughs first thing but I've been laid in bed with my hands over my ears crying, he's also got an abscess that has come back after he finished his antibiotics so has got to try and sort that today with the GP and I'm freaking out over something like a bloody abscess convincing myself he will be taken to hospital and then catch corona.

I know I'm stressing him out I'm constantly on his back asking if he's ok or moaning at him for coughing -,which I know he can't help but it's as though I have no control over it it just comes out.

I can't face going to work today I work in a school and it's really getting to me how weird everything is and I do know it's the same for everyone:(.

I just need this anxiety to go away 😪.

Handhold here op, I am so so sorry for your awful loss.
Did you have any form of counselling, is there any you can access (maybe by phone?).

No it happened in 1998 so basically left to cope. I did cope after a while too and for years have been fine.
I just feel terrified and I realise people have got much more going on atm but I just can't face another day of been scared.

Holding your hand. You do sound very distressed. I was once given a template for dealing with extreme anxious thoughts that I found useful. Something like, in one column write the situation such as 'abcess' in the next write down the worst case scenario then rate it's likelihood of happening. I score out of 10. Then in the next column write the best case scenario and rate that too.

Big hugs

Thankyou @Hotwaterbottlelove I will do that.