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Boring husband

4 replies

planttheseedstodayfortomorow · 02/04/2020 01:45

Been with husband nearly 20 years!! I’m only 36 he’s 39. We have 3 dc 12,8 and 4. I’m so bored in the relationship, he doesn’t make conversation I try my best to get him to chat and open up but It’s a daily struggle.

He’s hard working,loyal and trustworthy,but nothing seems to excite him it’s all just so dull. He loves his children,but he doesn’t enjoy playing with them or doing homework etc, it’s all left to me. The only thing we really argue about is his mother because she’s always hated me for taking her son!! she’s a bitter awful woman who in my opinion is the reason why my Dh lacks confidence and has no up and go about him!!! He has been controlled by her all his life and sometimes still is!! But that’s another story.

The sex is poor because I think how can I be excited to do that when he’s as dull as dishwater in the day? I keep thinking of leaving but where would that leave the children? He’s started working away mon-Friday but I don’t get excited to see him, he just watches tv and will answer if I speak to him and he only ever talks about work.

Believe me Iv tried to get him to get a life other than just work and me and the dc for eg go to the gym find a hobby!! I want him
To be happy I really do.

Iv told him I’m not happy but it ends up in an argument and he will cry and say he loves me and we can make it work then the next day it’s the same routine.

We tried counselling about a year ago but it made things worse for me because I felt like she wanted me to leave and I panicked. Most people would say he’s a good man stable safe etc not abusive doesn’t gamble smoke/drink so why do I feel like this?don’t I love him? Am I with him as that’s all I know?? I feel like I’m starting to resent him I wish I could explain in a way he can understand last timeo told him I wasn’t happy he said you must have someone else that made me so angry!! That he wasn’t facing facts more so placing the blame on something else. Should things be this hard.

sorry long post Brew

OP posts:
PawPawNoodle · 02/04/2020 03:47

Just do both of you a favour and leave. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who spoke about me the way you have your husband.

Twaddledee · 02/04/2020 04:46

I think it’s only natural that you would feel a bit bored with someone you’ve been with since you were so young but if he’s a good man it’s worth working on. If he’s willing to go to counselling I think that is a good sign, maybe try a different counsellor?

Shoxfordian · 02/04/2020 07:03

Yeah you should leave him
It doesn't sound like you like him, or love him

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BrooHaHa · 02/04/2020 07:06

I would wait until post lockdown to go anywhere tbh. It'll be just as boring in lockdown on your own.

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