Baby at 41?

[Hairydogmummy]

I couldn't work out where to put this so sorry if it's in the wrong place! DH and I have been together 8 yrs, married for 6. I have a 16yo DS and he has DCs 13 and 15. We've no children between us. It was never the right time with one thing and another and even though on an emotional level I wanted a baby, we both said it just wasn't practical. He was also concerned about age...he's 46. Anyway, things are better now on a practical level. Also my DSCs are not visiting so much and this has brought it home to DH that he would like us to have a baby. I'm really surprised. I used to get emotional about it but had accepted it wasn't the right thing to do for us. So can anyone help with what it's like at this age? Conception, pregnancy, a baby!? We're going to discuss it and I do have a friend who had one at same age as me. I had a healthy pregnancy before but that was 17 years ago! I still ovulate every month but have some peri symptoms. Not sure even how easy it would be to conceive!

No personal experience but while I think having a baby at 41 is fine, having one because your husband sees less of his teens than he’d like isn’t wildly sensible.

Its fine. Honestly. Go for it.

As long as you want it OP, because you are the one going through the pregnancy.

My mum has my brother at 40 no issues. I think she did find it hard dealing with a teenager in her fifties though

At the ages the other children are why would you want to start again?

I had one at 40. Really easy pregnancy and birth and coping ok with the sleepless nights. Don't feel any different to when I had my first at 30.

I had my first child at 37 second at 40, I didn't have any problems and most of my friends are around the same age with young children.

I had my second at 43, no problems

I had our 3 at 35, 37 and 40. Seems fine to me! My mum was mid-40s when she had me.

You will be lovely parents - a really wanted child

Go for it! I had my DD at 43, my DS was 20, DSD1 16, DSD2 13. My health, patience, attitude and confidence was so much better than first time round, pregnancy and birth was easier. Older kids loved they were getting a little sister. I'm 50 now and tbh if I could do it again now I would!

I'm 41 with a 6 year old. Going through a pregnancy and having a newborn now feels like much too hard work.

40 was always my cut off for having DC.

I was 41 and DH 46 when we had our last DC.

No problems at all.

Aw thank you everyone! Really positive stories! My DS was an accident. I wasn't really in love with his dad. We married and later divorced. I'd love the chance to go through the whole experience with the right man! We're still talking through the practicalities....we had been saying to ourselves we would be heading very soon for freedom and child free hols to expensive places but then I'm not even sure I want that anyway. I'm more envious of people with young kids in some ways!

I was 41 when I fell pregnant with DD. Strangely I am in better health now than I was when I had DS st 35.

If you both want a baby, there's no reason not to.

I had mine at 40 and 42. As long as you are both reasonably healthy it will be fine. There are advantages is being older, as you are probably more financially secure, and calmer. And it is a good way of keeping young at heart and fit.

It may depend on where you live. In London you won’t be remotely unusual.

We're in the north west...it's fairly unusual. Most people are early 30s. Not sure I'd have much in common with the other mums of babies I might come across. Don't think that would bother me too much though and I'm sure there would be ways to meet other people of a more similar age. I've got younger friends with babies too.