I have three boys. They’re v close in age, one has high functioning autism, next one has ADHD and dyslexia/dyspraxia and the third, we had joked, was the normal one. (Obviously we never said that in front of them but you get the idea - this was the one with normal social skills, understood nuance, could focus etc)
Well the last 6 months or so, things have got increasingly difficult. We are very laid back in what we expect from them, so very few demands are placed on them. But even so, A (as I’ll call him) has become more and more resistant to pretty much everything. Utterly contrary, even to his own detriment, anxious, clingy, not wanting to go to school in case something happens to me, more and more sensory challenging, it’s almost like he’s “caught” autism!
He is a sunny little chap usually but if things don’t go to plan, he absolutely LOSES THE PLOT. For example we got a chippy tea the other week and somehow my husband’s drink had been missed out. A was furious and hysterical and wanted us to go back immediately and get it. No amount of reassurance that it didn’t matter, made any difference because to him, it did.
He can’t throw things away - he says that the memory is IN the item and goes loopy if we try and bin anything, even if it’s broken.
I gave him a little soft teddy for him to tell his problems to, thinking he would just give it a cuddle and go to sleep but he actually chats to it and says that teddy tells him what he should do when he’s upset. He says this straight faced - and he’s 9.
What’s prompted me to post is that tonight, fuelled by boredom, I started a craft project which is up cycling and decorating a piece of furniture. It is old and knackered and scratched and if this doesn’t improve it then it’s going to the tip. A saw what I was doing and went mad - hysterical crying, screaming, saying I had ruined his life, on and on. He’s been roaring for hours now and the only thing that quietens him is if I agree to sand off what I’ve done and return it to it’s former shit state, which I’m not prepared to do.
I don’t know what’s going on. I’m quite good at hearing about other people’s kids and thinking to myself “I bet that’s ADHD” etc but I’m at a loss as to what on earth is going on with my own child!
My husband thinks that the needs of the other two were so much more obvious and pressing, that we just haven’t been able to see this is how he has always been. But I don’t know what’s going on!
Any ideas? Give me your best armchair-psych Sen-mum thoughts.