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Original poster

Commenting on someone's food portions

21 replies

EnglishRose1320 · 30/03/2020 13:46

Is it acceptable to comment on your OH's food portion. The context is, one of you cooking some new potatoes for lunch- the other walking in and saying 'thats loads of potatoes, are the children eating it as well' when it is clearly already on one plate.
The person with the potatoes gets upset and asks OH not to make digs about carb intake, the OH says it there business because they don't want them to die by 65.
The person in question is overweight and trying hard but has a history of food issues and is trying hard not to control food too much.
Should the OH have said anything? They have been asked not to in the past.

OP posts:
Lordfrontpaw · 30/03/2020 13:52

I'm guessing he said this about you?

I suppose its how it was said - if you have been trying to cut back or stick to a low card diet/healthy eating plan, and we aren't all as active at the moment with this lockdown I suppose.

Some people don't have much tact. I'd prefer a 'how much carb are we aiming for now?' rather than 'oi fatty, you have two more tatties than a pig'.

jomaIone · 30/03/2020 13:53

Depends how many potatoes you had!

Chiyo666 · 30/03/2020 13:55

If my husband was being a fat fuck I was always sure to tell him Grin

Teacher12345 · 30/03/2020 13:57

If the portion was too big I would probably say so in a "be careful we might need some for another day" kind of way rather than linking it to weight or diet.

WorraLiberty · 30/03/2020 13:57

I'm not sure really.

If you're living with someone else and taking more than your fair share of food, I think it's ok for them to mention it.

I don't think 'asking them not to' is the solution.

The solution would be to stop doing it and think of others I suppose.

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 30/03/2020 13:57

Its just rude

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 30/03/2020 13:57

and never helps people cut down

NoMorePoliticsPlease · 30/03/2020 13:58

I would make me eat more

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 30/03/2020 14:00

Depends if it was a mountain of potatoes or not really...

If DH or me was eating a huge portion the other might say “that is some portion” No body gets offended, as it’s not nasty just a passing comment on a huge plate of food

IceKitten · 30/03/2020 14:03

I think it was slightly rude / tactless to comment, but I also think it sounds like the person with the potatoes was over sensitive / overreacted a bit.

I am speaking as an overweight person with a skinny DH btw.

TheArchSorcererofContwaraburg · 30/03/2020 14:04

There have been numerous threads on here regarding selfish people in the household scoffing loads of food when there's little of it about in the house so for me it depends. If a person is taking over their fair share of food in this family I think it's entirely reasonable to point this out.

SimonJT · 30/03/2020 14:04

My boyfriend calls me a greedy fucker, I am a greedy fucker.

Your potato amount is fine as long as everyone else has sufficient access to their own portion.

Tartyflette · 30/03/2020 14:10

As long as you weren't depriving anyone else of delicious, buttery (I hope) new potatoes he should stop being so judgemental and STFU.
I hate the policing of other people's food choices.

WorraLiberty · 30/03/2020 14:14

As long as you weren't depriving anyone else of delicious, buttery (I hope) new potatoes he should stop being so judgemental and STFU.

And yet every time someone has to go to the supermarket and stock up on supplies, they risk getting a potentially deadly virus and spreading it to the rest of the family.

I'm not sure I could 'STFU' if my DH was doing this to be honest. I'd tell him to leave some for others and have a slice of bread if he's still hungry.

Wanderlust21 · 30/03/2020 14:18

More than 6 wee potatoes and he was definately right to say something. 5 or 6 he maybe had a fair point. 4 or less, he was being a dick.

AnneJeanne · 30/03/2020 14:25

I’m guessing it was just the first thing that popped out because there were so many potatoes. Can’t you say to him, “I’m struggling right now so back off”?

Original poster
EnglishRose1320 · 30/03/2020 15:00

Yeap it's what OH said to me, I'm the only one who eats new potatoes so I'm wasn't depriving anyone else and I won't be shopping any more frequently for the amount I ate.
It was about 8 little ones but they had all started sprouting so by the time I had had cut all those bits off they were smaller than usual. It was a bit more than I would usually eat but neither of us got any sleep due to ds' needs last night and I was up with the children all morning whilst he slept so just needed something unhealthy and carby to pick me up.
I think it's the fact that I sat down and chatted with him a while okay about how sensitive I was feeling about my weight and how I wanted support but I don't work well with judgement, we discussed ways of supporting me so it wasn't like I didn't give him ideas and I was open to suggestions.

However on hindsight I think the lack of sleep made me more sensitive and I know he's blunt, he always has been so I should try not to take is as an insult but as usual advice.

OP posts:
GreyishDays · 30/03/2020 15:02

8 little new potatoes doesn’t sound like it warrants comment.

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/03/2020 15:27

Why did he ask if the children were having some as well if you’re the only one who likes them?

What you eat is your responsibility and from your update it’s not clear if you’ve asked for his feedback as you’re trying to lose weight or not? I think “judgement” is highly subjective. If you’re often complaining about being bigger than you want then some would say it’s fair of him to comment when you eat big portions.

user1493413286 · 30/03/2020 15:31

If they’ve been asked not to then they shouldn’t; however over the weekend I was commenting on DHs wine intake even though he asks me not to as I’m paranoid about both our health with this virus. I do know there was better ways that I could have approached it though and so should he.

Thatbloodybear · 30/03/2020 15:37

It would be out of my mouth before I'd even considered it, but then DH and I are very pass remarkable about most things, but especially food.
You sound a bit sleep deprived, just let it go.

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